Posted:
I have noticed a lot of double standards in the show and elsewhere that I have been meaning to talk about for a while. I did not because I was worried that people would think I am bashing the show, which is really not the case.
I think the show does a good job of showing how characters have double standards just like real people, particularly when it comes to gender issues. I would like to put a disclaimer before I list the double standards I saw - I adore every character in the show (except Shyam) as much as the next viewer and I am not writing this out of malice toward Arnav, Nani, any other character or even viewers of the show.
1. Arnav gets to have a live-in girlfriend with Nani's disapproval but La gets called "character dheela" by Nani whereas she says everyone else (Arnav included) in RM have high characters. Note that Khushi is the only balanced character who pays Arnav the "character dheela" compliment.
2. Arnav gets to hurt Khushi physically by dropping her from the second floor (not easily forgivable) but if Khushi is slightly rude about it, many find Khushi unfair.
3. Nani and Anjali are thrilled Arnav is going for the good girl Khushi but they never consider that Arnav's relationship history might actually offend the Gupta's if a proposal is made. No, they assume their all-eligible brother/nati is so good that only bringing the two together for love will seal the deal.
4. Arnav can sleep with La and emotionally cheat on her with Khushi. He can establish La in the house to make his point with Nani and make Khushi jealous, but if Khushi dares to flirt with NK to just make Arnav jealous, she is the greatest flirt who should be careful (many of us have said this, I am not talking about anyone particular).
5. Arnav is glorified for "having experience" (trust me, I say this while knowing the merit of it) but Khushi is glorified for "being pure." Even a little flirtation is not Khushi's right, but Arnav/or any man of the house may get away with it.
6. La is bad because she dresses Western and Khushi is good because she dresses Indian - as if their dresses say it all. I have made a post about this before. The Western dressed woman is not automatically character-less. And what is character-less anyway? Why is this term more often imposed on women for having the same lifestyle many men are never questioned for?
Nani's character is the old-world woman who also has a double standard when it comes to her male nati (after all the female nati is married). She may disapprove but she won't see his as a loose character but heaven save the woman who dared to live-in with him. As the saying goes, you can't clap with one hand. Somehow the man is not to blame for giving into temptation but if the woman does then she falls from grace.
I am not blaming anyone, double standards are ingrained in all of us to an extent. I am sure I am very flawed with contradictions too. But it is something to be aware of. All that said and done, I love the show and don't think it has double standards. I think they accurately portray some characters having double standards as is true in real life. I probably sound harsher than I mean to be because I get frustrated by gender biases.
I adore you all too 🤗
Would love to hear your views on this! Please feel free to agree or disagree. I have said a lot and I am sure this is a contentious topic.
Mary
PART 2 - Just a few more things to add
1. I am pointing to double standards of both the characters in the show and the audience. Saying that this shows that the CVs are doing a good job of showing biases.
2. I am not blaming any of it on Arnav. I don't think he's a chauvinist either. Glad that many here felt the same way. I remember him telling nani that he likes La as she dresses and tells La later that she doesn't need his permission to go places (when she goes "good" traditional and starts asking for permission). In terms of the poor-rich binary however, he did say that middle class girls are out to get rich guys and they are characterless but I don't really think he believes in it. If I was Khushi, I would take him to town for that one.
3. I don't think Mami is a good example of a "bad" person in Indian attire because she's a different kind of bad. Bad La in Western refers to her character. Good Khushi in Indian refers to her character - in terms of men and relationships. Mami may be in Indian and bad but her character is not shown as bad in the sense La is at first. La only goes "good" when she starts wearing traditional clothing which I found objectionable. She was the same girl and she could have become nice, etc without her dresses showing stereotypically that she's now on the good side.
I think the show does a good job of showing how characters have double standards just like real people, particularly when it comes to gender issues. I would like to put a disclaimer before I list the double standards I saw - I adore every character in the show (except Shyam) as much as the next viewer and I am not writing this out of malice toward Arnav, Nani, any other character or even viewers of the show.
1. Arnav gets to have a live-in girlfriend with Nani's disapproval but La gets called "character dheela" by Nani whereas she says everyone else (Arnav included) in RM have high characters. Note that Khushi is the only balanced character who pays Arnav the "character dheela" compliment.
2. Arnav gets to hurt Khushi physically by dropping her from the second floor (not easily forgivable) but if Khushi is slightly rude about it, many find Khushi unfair.
3. Nani and Anjali are thrilled Arnav is going for the good girl Khushi but they never consider that Arnav's relationship history might actually offend the Gupta's if a proposal is made. No, they assume their all-eligible brother/nati is so good that only bringing the two together for love will seal the deal.
4. Arnav can sleep with La and emotionally cheat on her with Khushi. He can establish La in the house to make his point with Nani and make Khushi jealous, but if Khushi dares to flirt with NK to just make Arnav jealous, she is the greatest flirt who should be careful (many of us have said this, I am not talking about anyone particular).
5. Arnav is glorified for "having experience" (trust me, I say this while knowing the merit of it) but Khushi is glorified for "being pure." Even a little flirtation is not Khushi's right, but Arnav/or any man of the house may get away with it.
6. La is bad because she dresses Western and Khushi is good because she dresses Indian - as if their dresses say it all. I have made a post about this before. The Western dressed woman is not automatically character-less. And what is character-less anyway? Why is this term more often imposed on women for having the same lifestyle many men are never questioned for?
Nani's character is the old-world woman who also has a double standard when it comes to her male nati (after all the female nati is married). She may disapprove but she won't see his as a loose character but heaven save the woman who dared to live-in with him. As the saying goes, you can't clap with one hand. Somehow the man is not to blame for giving into temptation but if the woman does then she falls from grace.
I am not blaming anyone, double standards are ingrained in all of us to an extent. I am sure I am very flawed with contradictions too. But it is something to be aware of. All that said and done, I love the show and don't think it has double standards. I think they accurately portray some characters having double standards as is true in real life. I probably sound harsher than I mean to be because I get frustrated by gender biases.
I adore you all too 🤗
Would love to hear your views on this! Please feel free to agree or disagree. I have said a lot and I am sure this is a contentious topic.
Mary
PART 2 - Just a few more things to add
1. I am pointing to double standards of both the characters in the show and the audience. Saying that this shows that the CVs are doing a good job of showing biases.
2. I am not blaming any of it on Arnav. I don't think he's a chauvinist either. Glad that many here felt the same way. I remember him telling nani that he likes La as she dresses and tells La later that she doesn't need his permission to go places (when she goes "good" traditional and starts asking for permission). In terms of the poor-rich binary however, he did say that middle class girls are out to get rich guys and they are characterless but I don't really think he believes in it. If I was Khushi, I would take him to town for that one.
3. I don't think Mami is a good example of a "bad" person in Indian attire because she's a different kind of bad. Bad La in Western refers to her character. Good Khushi in Indian refers to her character - in terms of men and relationships. Mami may be in Indian and bad but her character is not shown as bad in the sense La is at first. La only goes "good" when she starts wearing traditional clothing which I found objectionable. She was the same girl and she could have become nice, etc without her dresses showing stereotypically that she's now on the good side.
Bigg Boss 19
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