Chapter 20
"Armaan." I breathed and opened my eyes. I found myself staring at a pair of deep blue eyes, currently ignited with passionate. Just by looking into his eyes, feeling him so close to me... I, finally, could feel the hole in my heart filling, and the darkness, around me, vanishing.
"Riddhima." He breathed.
For a moment there, I found myself in a tranced state, lost in his deep blue eyeballs. And then the reality came crashing in.
"Armaan? What are you doing here?" I asked him, completely baffled for a moment. When he did not reply, I panicked even more. I tried to push him away, trying to get out of his hold, but I couldn't even move an inch. He kept his eyes on me, breathing slowly, as I struggled to get out of his hold.
"You shouldn't be here, Armaan. It is risky. Please lea-" I was about to ask him to leave, when he shushed me.
My heart beat stopped, when his fingers lingered on my lips and pressed it gently.
He looked into my eyes with amount of fire in his eyes, and depth in his voice. I could feel myself melting in his arms.
"Do you love me?"
Silence
I stared at him, blank faced, and saw his lips move in synchronization with the words ringing in my ears.
"Do you love me?" I heard him ask me, and the moment stopped.
My heart, almost immediately, began pumping the blood faster. As much as I tried to hold on to the moment, I found myself slipping away.
'Yes, I love you, Armaan.' I wanted to shout and pull him into a kiss. But that could only mean his death. I could not bear that. I was far too dependent on him for that.
"You should go. Really." I looked away immediately, quivering. He would know I was lying; he would know that I love him. And he did.
"I met Rahul yesterday, Riddhima" A shiver ran down my spine, as I felt his breathe on my lips and realized that he was dangerously close.
Stop! My conscious mind screamed at me. Rahul, obviously had told him everything. I knew he wouldn't miss this opportunity. Rahul had been trying to reach Armaan, I knew, although he never really told about it. I found out that Rahul wanted me to tell Armaan everything. But I couldn't. Armaan would risk everything to be with me, I knew. I couldn't risk it when it came to his life. So, I made Rahul promise me that he wouldn't try to reach Armaan anymore.
And he did, with an exception.
"If Armaan ever tries to reach out for me Riddhima, I will tell him everything. I promise." He told me.
"He won't." I smiled at him sadly. I had made it very clear to Armaan, two years ago, that I "was in love with Aditya". Two years after the incident, Armaan must have considered me a married woman. That made me wonder, how did he know about my condition?
I realized that I knew the answer already- my phone call to Armaan. Dammit.
"Armaan" I said warily, losing self control.
"Just say it Riddhima. Just say it." He whispered slowly, but I could hear the urgency in his voice. It was killing him, the realizing dawned on me, and only I could ease his pain. That very moment I raised my gaze to match his and found myself stronger than ever.
So what if my crazy ex-fiance would kill me and the guy I love, if I did this? So what if this could devastate me for ever? We were dying without each other, anyways, weren't we? The only thing that could save me from myself.. was him, and it is the same thing that we want. It was all suddenly so easy, that the words escaped my mouth automatically, followed by a deep silence.
"Please take my pain away." I told him. His expressions were dark and unreadable, but I knew that he had understood the meaning behind my words.
Silence.
That very moment, a strong gush of winds blew, and the darkness fell in the room. I continued to stare at each other, trying to comprehend what he was thinking.
When he still did not respond, my patience gave up. This is what I wanted; I do not care about the rest.
"I love you." I confessed and room fell to pin drop silence. Silent looks were exchanged, rhythmic breathes were sung and heard to, and then he decided to break it.
"How could do his for two years?"
I knew what he was talking about Aditya. I often found myself asking the same question. I managed to survive without Armaan for two years, without any contact or even talking to him. Me, who couldn't even breathe without him, managed to struggle all the way without him. I managed to fight Aditya on my own. I managed to threaten to kill Aditya, if he even laid his claws on my Armaan. Never in my life had I thought that I could be so courageous. And then I found the answer to all my questions. It was Armaan.
"It was not at all difficult." I told him, lowly but certainly.
And after what these minutes seemed like ages, he locked his lips with mine. I closed my eyes, trying to take in all that I could. Somewhere, I was still conscious that this could end us both, but I stopped listening to it. I decided to follow my heart.
After a moment of soft puckering of lips, I felt him pull away and frowned. I did not want to let him go, not yet. I opened my eyes to find him still as close to me, as he was, grinning at me naughtily. I blushed. Immediately, I held him by his collar and pulled him towards him, sucking his lips until both of us were out of breathe. That seemed to ignite him more, since his tongue battled mine, as soon as I parted my lips. I wrapped my both arms around his neck, not wanting to let him go. And we parted again, looking into each others eyes.
"I was right when I told you that you want me." He said, and I blushed. I felt so… complete that it was unbelievable that I had finally managed to reach here.
"I still do." I said, and saw him hold his breath.
And that was it. I held his hands, leading the way towards the bedroom. He followed me silently. Unsaid words said everything, and the silence brought me peace when I found myself knocked against the bedroom door, locked in his arms.
A sudden question randomly popped into my mind. I could have avoided it, but unfortunately, I chose to take a chance. A few months ago, I had read it in the paper… that 'actor-singer, Armaan Malik, was dating the well known actress, Sheila Dixit'. He loved me unconditionally and I did not doubt that, but it was safer to make sure.
"Are you dating Sheila Dixit?" I asked him, finally, as I found myself caged in his hold. He looked at me at me, studying the amount of seriousness in this question. And when he realized, that I was being super serious, he laughed. I took the answer as a no immediately.
"Great timing, I must say." Not done making fun of me, he laughed again.
"It won't harm to make sure, right?" I defended myself, and heard him laugh again.
"So, you're saying that, if I say yes, I will have to go?" Mocking me again, he began to get away from my hold, when I held him by his brown jacket and pulled him towards me, until our bodies pressed against each other.
"I guess I don't care." I spoke harshly against his lips and saw him tighten his jaw.
We locked our lips immediately, giving ourselves to the moment. All the barriers between us were removed and I gave myself solely to the man I love.
After a night of intense love making, the sun rose in the sky. It was twilight, I realized.
I lay on the bed, in his arms, looking at our reflection in the mirror-two bodies, one soul that was wrapped in a blanket. His sent lingered all over my body, his hands were tightly wrapped around me still burned my skin; it was a beautiful sensation I had never felt before. His breathing was slow and even, and his eyes were closed. I figured that he was sleeping, dreaming to me as his lips curved into a smile.
"You are beautiful." He whispered against my ear lobe, kissing it slightly and the odd sensation returned.
I literally held my breathe as he began kissing my neck and then my shoulder. Slowly, I shifted and turned to look at him. The intensity of the fire in his eyes hadn't faded yet, I blushed under his intense gaze.
He ran his hands through my messy hair, looking at me. The way he looked at me… it made me feel so beautiful.
"You are not bad yourself." I told him, feigning arrogance and shrugging.
"..'Not bad yourself', huh?" He grinned, holding me more tightly this time. I couldn't help but giggle as he pulled the white blanket over us again. For the very first time in years, I felt complete, and I knew that it was meant to be.
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