🏏 IPL 2026: Match 46, PBKS vs GT on 3rd May 7:30pm at Ahmedabad🏏
🏏IPL 2026: Sunrisers Hyderabad vs KKR, M - 45th, Hyderabad 🏏
Rumour - Alia Bhatt Pregnant
PATCH UP MOOD 3.5
Rumour - Tara Sutaria Aditya Roy Kapur Dating
💕💜Somewhere Over the Rainbow #44 With Prats in our hearts 💜💕
🏏From 69 to No. 1 – A Journey Written by All of Us🏏🏆
Aryanta SS: you are mine and mine only
I've finally caught up with the recent updates. I apologise for the late review but I wanted to review each chapter separately in order to do justice to your amazing fan fiction. So here goes:
Chapter 5:
Nothing like a pushy pest of a family member to put one into a conundrum, and this Bua-ji likes to rebuke Titaliya for every minor infraction. I await, the day this Bua-ji regrets ever thinking Shyam was a suitable match for Khushi. Either way, I like that you remind us that she is going along with the pretence of accepting the proposal for the sake of her Bauji. However, I get that sense of foreboding that this 'white lie' will serve to make Khushi's life a hell later on.
I adore the pace of your story as nothing comes across as too jarring, such as Khushi who only recently came to terms with her feelings for Arnav is now silently hoping that she has not breached her friendship with Lavanya by doing so. It's that kind-hearted thoughtfulness that makes her character endearing, which you have captured perfectly.
And right on cue you very kindly adhered to my request and incorporated Akash and Payal into the story. You describe Payal's mental thought-process so well that being in the vicinity of RM brings back the painful memory of her humiliation. Oh how my heart aches for these two.
Akash is serving his purpose well by not only increasing the angst with his own obstacle-filled love story but hopefully he will have the presence of mind to pass on the news of Khushi's engagement to the right ears.
You know I'm going to confess that as grey shaded as Mami-ji is and the fact that she is so against my beloved Akash-Payal's jodi, she is still quite likeable because her one-liners crack me up. You adding 'hurt foot' gave me a good laugh because it sounds even funnier in English.
The tale gets more tangled as Arnav did have her followed but darn this Dev for not taking a picture of the offender. I love jealous Arnav and how his anger has become even more volatile because of it. Luckily, he channelled it at the table this time but next time Dev better deliver! However, the real gold in this part was how you wrote about Arnav's 'white flag of surrender' to his feelings for Khushi and how fate has bound these two to each other without his choosing. Bravo for effectively and convincingly getting both characters to acknowledge their feelings for each other at least to themselves.
Chapter 6:
As expected Akash is the saviour in the story for telling Arnav about what he learned. I like you, don't get the impression that the brothers are that close in terms of sharing their problems with one another so it is interesting that your version of Arnav was perceptive enough to read Akash's troubled expression.
Arnav sick at the mere thought of 'his' Khushi with anyone else shows his possessiveness has reached to the obsessive level. Hopefully this will be the catalyst he needs to force those suppressed feelings to the surface. Besides, reminders of his Khushi are littered everywhere as her presence is stamped in his heart and home (I liked the call back to him finding her in his closet after his days of pining and yearning for her). Moreover, the imagined vision he had of Khushi adorned in the bridal dress sitting on his bed, instead of Lavanya was a cute touch.
WOW. Khushi dressed in a beautiful purple sari. It's coincidental that you wrote about a diwali party in which Arnav becomes spellbound by her ethereal beauty; enhanced by her wearing a sari because it transpired onscreen as well. It was as if you'd predicted the events of last week's episodes. If only the dance portion of your fic had made it onto the screen as that moment was magical. The emotions, sensations and thoughts that ArHi underwent during their amorous dance were wonderfully written. I was taken in by the romance and was almost sad to see it end but I understand that less is more.
I also liked the nod to her biological parents as stars shining bright giving their consent to her happiness.
Chapter 7:
I feel with each new chapter your growth, as a writer is apparent since you stated this is your first attempt at FF writing. Each part brings your talent to light and in my opinion you are doing justice to the characters and this story. The evidence is in this chapter itself.
That almost-kiss caused my cheeks to flush. You certainly know how to turn up the heat! From their intense eye-locks to the almost kiss by the poolside, it was really romantic (you had written it before it had aired, once again predicting the show). However, your Arnav was sweet to the point that he left the scene to protect her dignity rather than being frustrated with himself for giving into his feelings. Hmm, it seems that sari was meant for Khushi, as it was hand picked by her Arnav!
Poor Anjali, you speak of her inner-glow that went unnoticed by Khushi but it is saddening that sweet, caring, joyous Anjali has no idea that the reason for her glow is actually a twisted megalomaniac.
You have captured the essence of A-P's push and pull relationship where Akash takes one step towards her and Payal takes two steps back perfectly. Seriously, my heart yearns for what could be, if only Payal gave in to her feelings. At least in your fan fiction I take content in the fact that Akash took that leap and confessed his love for Payal even if she had to deny herself the right to accept it. That whole scene was really eloquently penned. A few lines I really loved were: "the ghost of her presence he still felt against him"; "his confession took her to heights of happiness and the deep lows of despair"; "She felt her dreams pop and fizzle and disappear like the fireworks that lit the heavens".
I'm so grateful that you did justice to A-P as well as ArHi. Please do continue to balance your story between the two couples.
Chapter 8:
Whoa, what an intense chapter. The drama just increased ten-fold and you have once again surpassed the benchmark you set from your previous chapters. The insight you gave into Shyam's sick mind was disturbing but apt.
Things like him thinking of 'wives' and sharing clothes being a step into sharing the same role in his life (ewww). His depraved thoughts are coming out now and its high time he gets a thrashing at the hands of Arnav!
I was delighted that he witnessed ArHi's proximity and has realised that their so-called hate relationship has actually crossed that thin line into the love territory. His deluded thought process made him think she was fond of him but this rude awakening is good because it forced him to show his hand. The desperate measures he has taken in abducting her is the beginning of the end for him because our hero will surely come to stop him succeeding in his heinous crimes.
I love how after ArHi's interaction you reveal Khushi's mental turmoil as she comes to terms with the experience and ends up coming down from her high by thinking of Arnav as the infamous ASR. It is hard for her to reconcile the two sides of his personality; the cold, indifferent ASR with the compassionate, loving Arnav but she is irrevocably in love with him that she accepts him as he is.
So it took Khushi the fear of being trapped in a car with Shyam to realise how little she really knows about him, that he is indeed a 'hostile stranger'. The tension was palpable in that moment when he drove her to the mandir and divulged his sadistic plan. Despite Khushi having enough presence of mind to try to escape, Shyam is one step ahead using his brute force to stop her. He is one hell of a villain!
I'm worried about how Arnav will reach there as you mentioned that Khushi left her mobile with her clothes at RM so how will he learn of her distress? How far will Shyam go to satisfy his sadistic fantasies? How will Khushi react to this all; will she fight or will she cower in fright? So many questions, and now the anticipation for the next chapter has me on tenterhooks. Please update a.s.a.p. Pretty please.
Happy Belated Birthday.
OMG Pardesiii, What a lovely birthday present. I can't believe you gave such a thorough review of each chapter. I'm sooo glad you like the fic my friend. It's reviews like your that really make me want to keep on writing. Please continue reading and reviewing. And if you have any more requests let me know. xxxOriginally posted by: pardesii
I've finally caught up with the recent updates. I apologise for the late review but I wanted to review each chapter separately in order to do justice to your amazing fan fiction. So here goes:
Chapter 5:
Nothing like a pushy pest of a family member to put one into a conundrum, and this Bua-ji likes to rebuke Titaliya for every minor infraction. I await, the day this Bua-ji regrets ever thinking Shyam was a suitable match for Khushi. Either way, I like that you remind us that she is going along with the pretence of accepting the proposal for the sake of her Bauji. However, I get that sense of foreboding that this 'white lie' will serve to make Khushi's life a hell later on.
I adore the pace of your story as nothing comes across as too jarring, such as Khushi who only recently came to terms with her feelings for Arnav is now silently hoping that she has not breached her friendship with Lavanya by doing so. It's that kind-hearted thoughtfulness that makes her character endearing, which you have captured perfectly.
And right on cue you very kindly adhered to my request and incorporated Akash and Payal into the story. You describe Payal's mental thought-process so well that being in the vicinity of RM brings back the painful memory of her humiliation. Oh how my heart aches for these two.
Akash is serving his purpose well by not only increasing the angst with his own obstacle-filled love story but hopefully he will have the presence of mind to pass on the news of Khushi's engagement to the right ears.
You know I'm going to confess that as grey shaded as Mami-ji is and the fact that she is so against my beloved Akash-Payal's jodi, she is still quite likeable because her one-liners crack me up. You adding 'hurt foot' gave me a good laugh because it sounds even funnier in English.
The tale gets more tangled as Arnav did have her followed but darn this Dev for not taking a picture of the offender. I love jealous Arnav and how his anger has become even more volatile because of it. Luckily, he channelled it at the table this time but next time Dev better deliver! However, the real gold in this part was how you wrote about Arnav's 'white flag of surrender' to his feelings for Khushi and how fate has bound these two to each other without his choosing. Bravo for effectively and convincingly getting both characters to acknowledge their feelings for each other at least to themselves.
Chapter 6:
As expected Akash is the saviour in the story for telling Arnav about what he learned. I like you, don't get the impression that the brothers are that close in terms of sharing their problems with one another so it is interesting that your version of Arnav was perceptive enough to read Akash's troubled expression.
Arnav sick at the mere thought of 'his' Khushi with anyone else shows his possessiveness has reached to the obsessive level. Hopefully this will be the catalyst he needs to force those suppressed feelings to the surface. Besides, reminders of his Khushi are littered everywhere as her presence is stamped in his heart and home (I liked the call back to him finding her in his closet after his days of pining and yearning for her). Moreover, the imagined vision he had of Khushi adorned in the bridal dress sitting on his bed, instead of Lavanya was a cute touch.
WOW. Khushi dressed in a beautiful purple sari. It's coincidental that you wrote about a diwali party in which Arnav becomes spellbound by her ethereal beauty; enhanced by her wearing a sari because it transpired onscreen as well. It was as if you'd predicted the events of last week's episodes. If only the dance portion of your fic had made it onto the screen as that moment was magical. The emotions, sensations and thoughts that ArHi underwent during their amorous dance were wonderfully written. I was taken in by the romance and was almost sad to see it end but I understand that less is more.
I also liked the nod to her biological parents as stars shining bright giving their consent to her happiness.
Chapter 7:
I feel with each new chapter your growth, as a writer is apparent since you stated this is your first attempt at FF writing. Each part brings your talent to light and in my opinion you are doing justice to the characters and this story. The evidence is in this chapter itself.
That almost-kiss caused my cheeks to flush. You certainly know how to turn up the heat! From their intense eye-locks to the almost kiss by the poolside, it was really romantic (you had written it before it had aired, once again predicting the show). However, your Arnav was sweet to the point that he left the scene to protect her dignity rather than being frustrated with himself for giving into his feelings. Hmm, it seems that sari was meant for Khushi, as it was hand picked by her Arnav!
Poor Anjali, you speak of her inner-glow that went unnoticed by Khushi but it is saddening that sweet, caring, joyous Anjali has no idea that the reason for her glow is actually a twisted megalomaniac.
You have captured the essence of A-P's push and pull relationship where Akash takes one step towards her and Payal takes two steps back perfectly. Seriously, my heart yearns for what could be, if only Payal gave in to her feelings. At least in your fan fiction I take content in the fact that Akash took that leap and confessed his love for Payal even if she had to deny herself the right to accept it. That whole scene was really eloquently penned. A few lines I really loved were: "the ghost of her presence he still felt against him"; "his confession took her to heights of happiness and the deep lows of despair"; "She felt her dreams pop and fizzle and disappear like the fireworks that lit the heavens".
I'm so grateful that you did justice to A-P as well as ArHi. Please do continue to balance your story between the two couples.
Chapter 8:
Whoa, what an intense chapter. The drama just increased ten-fold and you have once again surpassed the benchmark you set from your previous chapters. The insight you gave into Shyam's sick mind was disturbing but apt.
Things like him thinking of 'wives' and sharing clothes being a step into sharing the same role in his life (ewww). His depraved thoughts are coming out now and its high time he gets a thrashing at the hands of Arnav!
I was delighted that he witnessed ArHi's proximity and has realised that their so-called hate relationship has actually crossed that thin line into the love territory. His deluded thought process made him think she was fond of him but this rude awakening is good because it forced him to show his hand. The desperate measures he has taken in abducting her is the beginning of the end for him because our hero will surely come to stop him succeeding in his heinous crimes.
I love how after ArHi's interaction you reveal Khushi's mental turmoil as she comes to terms with the experience and ends up coming down from her high by thinking of Arnav as the infamous ASR. It is hard for her to reconcile the two sides of his personality; the cold, indifferent ASR with the compassionate, loving Arnav but she is irrevocably in love with him that she accepts him as he is.
So it took Khushi the fear of being trapped in a car with Shyam to realise how little she really knows about him, that he is indeed a 'hostile stranger'. The tension was palpable in that moment when he drove her to the mandir and divulged his sadistic plan. Despite Khushi having enough presence of mind to try to escape, Shyam is one step ahead using his brute force to stop her. He is one hell of a villain!
I'm worried about how Arnav will reach there as you mentioned that Khushi left her mobile with her clothes at RM so how will he learn of her distress? How far will Shyam go to satisfy his sadistic fantasies? How will Khushi react to this all; will she fight or will she cower in fright? So many questions, and now the anticipation for the next chapter has me on tenterhooks. Please update a.s.a.p. Pretty please.
Happy Belated Birthday.
Originally posted by: FebruaryFlower
Nali darling!!!
Sorry for not commenting sooner. Busy weekend meant less time spent on reading updates. Finally, I'm here!!Firstly, a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (even though I wished you on the day. An extra one as a peace offering for not commenting earlier...😉)Secondly, a fab update. However, I have a complaint!There was no real time Arnav...😭Only what Shyam was watching of Arnav and Khushi. It gave me the creeps reading his point of view. Just goes to prove how fantastic your writing is, and how you have gotten into all of the characters so well!!Looking forward to the next part. Can't wait for the drama to unfold. You've left the reader on tenter hooks until then!!Thanks a bunch for the PM sugar!!!😊
As if his perturbed thoughts had conjured her, Khushi-ji appeared. She looked like she was heading homewards and, when she was a safe distance away, he started up the car and followed. Dev couldn't wait till she got home, so he could give his report to the big man and then beg for the night off.
Just then, a man stopped his car a short distance from Khushi-ji, he got out of it and had started heading in Khushi-ji's direction. Dev had briefed to take note of any potential male approaching her. The man, who seemed oddly familiar, was now holding her arm, but she didn't seem scared, only a little confused. Dev quickly took the opportunity to take a few snaps; he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.
As Khushi-ji got in the unfamiliar car, Dev pulled out his phone. ASR had asked to keep up-to-date with anything out of the ordinary, and he thought this was one such thing.
*********************
Arnav stood in the quiet darkness of his room. He was staggered by what happened. He had nearly taken what his heart had desired, a kiss from the lips of his Khushi. His mind tantalised him with snippets of her memory. From meeting her for the first time to how he had seen her tonight. It was an apt nickname her Bua-ji had given her, Titaliya. As quickly as she had fluttered into his grasp, she was gone again.
Arnav felt slightly guilty for taking advantage of her naivety. But what he gained in return was so much more. He had never thought of himself as the romantic type, had scoffed at his Di whenever she mentioned it. But when Khushi was in his arms, it was as if time had stopped still. He had never had this depth of feeling with any woman who had come before Khushi and probably never would. That thought scared him, he couldn't believe he was actually letting himself feel. Arnav couldn't fob this encounter off a just another pleasant experience with the opposite sex. This was a moment with Khushi after all, his fearless Khushi.
Arnav wondered back to the poolside. It was if he was trying to recreate what had happened here not too long ago. As if his heart needed him to. As Arnav took in the sight he glimpsed something lying on the ground, where he and Khushi had stood. As Arnav bent to pick it up, he came up with Khushi's crowning piece. The flower that nestled in her hair. He must have dislodged it when he had run his fingers through it.
Suddenly, his mobile started to ring and Arnav stuffed the clip in his pocket, while trying to get it out in time to answer it. He looked at the display, the bumbling fool, Dev.
"Hello" His voice came at gruff, showing his displeasure at his thoughts being interrupted.
"Hello, Sir. It's me Dev." Came the voice on the other side.
"I know it's you Dev, do you have anything of importance to tell me or are you just wasting my time". He said impatiently.
"Sir, Khushi-ji has just gotten into a car with an unknown male and they are heading in a direction away from her home". The words sent Arnav into high alert. He headed to the front entrance with the mobile still stuck to his ear. Ignoring his Di who was trying to get his attention, as he walked by her.
"Chotey!" He had disappeared during the party and now he was leaving without a word? She could only shake her head.
"Stay on the phone with me, while tailing them. Tell me in which direction they're heading. Do you understand?" Arnav commanded, while getting into his own car and inserting his Bluetooth headset.
"Yes Sir" Dev replied quickly and start giving his boss the instructions he wanted.
********************
Khushi looked at the madman before her. He must be crazy! She thought, trying to find reason all of this insanity. Had Shyam-ji always been like this? If he had been, he had hidden his unbalanced mind well. This is no time to be in awe of his acting skills Khushi, get away fro him!
She tried scoot back out of his reach but he just matched her inch for inch.
"Tch, tch, Khushi-ji, why are you moving away from me? I'm going to be your husband in a few moments and then nothing will keep us apart." He tutted at her attempt to evade him.
"I know you're as impatient as I am, but don't worry the Pundit will be here shortly." Shyam glanced around them, hoping the man would turn up quickly. He had paid him in advance, just in case, since he had had a feeling that his Khushi-ji might get cold feet. His prudence hadn't been misplaced.
In the face of such blatant disregard of reality, Khushi was shocked. But this didn't stop her from speaking her mind, regardless of the situation.
"Shyam-ji, What are you thinking?" Khushi pushed on through her fear. "I've already told you that I won't marry you. This was all a charade for Babu-ji. Everyone knows we're not getting married."
Shyam's manic smile only widened in response.
"That's were your wrong Khushi-ji. Your Bua and Amma know we're getting married, only maybe not right at this minute." Khushi was stunned at hearing this.
"No need to look so shocked Khushi-ji, I may have decided to leave out the fact that you hadn't fully agreed to marry me. But we're about to remedy that now, aren't we?" Shyam gestured to the unlit sacred fire, surrounded by all the elements needed to carry out a marriage. She could see the red vermillion lying there, ready to adorn her parting.
The man was mentally unhinged. Shyam had lied to her family and had kidnapped her, there was no way she was marrying him.
Stall him Khushi, and then try to find a way out of this.
"Shyam-ji, why hurry? We should get married in front of our family and friends. We wouldn't want them to miss out on this happy occasion, right?" Khushi was proud that there was only a slight quiver to her voice.
"I'm sorry Khushi-ji but that would create an unnecessary problem. See you may invite the Raizada's. I can't let you do that." Shyam said. He kept an eye on her while he got to lighting the fire in preparation of the ceremony.
"Inviting the Raizada's? Why should that be a problem?" Khushi had stop her mind wondering to a specific Raizada in question. She was in a dangerous situation, she needed her whit's about her.
Shyam straightened and came towards her. "Well you might as well know now, since you are going to be my wife soon." He stood in front of her and continued.
"I am Anjali's husband, Shyam". It seemed like the night would be filled with shocking revelations, if the last bit of information was to go by. Khushi came to her feet, heedless of any threat.
"What!? Your Anjali-ji's husband? Than what have you been doing for the last few months? You've been a paying guest in our house and have gained my family's trust. How can you even think about marrying another, much less me, when you're already married to Anjali-ji?" She couldn't believe the audacity of the man. He had a sweet woman like Anjali-ji for his wife and he was still trying to marry her. She felt sorry for her friend, that she was bound to such a monster by marriage.
"But that's just it Khushi-ji. I don't love Anjali, I only love you." She couldn't believe the rubbish that was coming out of his mouth, she had never felt so disgusted.
"You can't marry me if you're already married". And she thanked her Devi Mayya for that.
"Why are you resisting Khushi-ji? I know you love me as much as I love you." He said grabbing her arms. But then a peculiar look crossed his face.
"Is Saleh-Saab the reason you're saying no? Have you betrayed me Khushi?" His hold tightened menacingly, matching the rage he felt at the thought of her with Arnav by the poolside.
It took a moment for Khushi to realise whom it was that he referred to. It was still new to her, the fact that Shyam-ji was Anjali's Shyam, so then Arnav-ji's brother-in-law. How did he know about what she felt for Arnav-ji?
Footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs and brought Khushi's focus to the Mandir's steps. Oh! Please let it be someone who can help me.
A short, bald man in a pundit's garb came into view. Following Khushi's gaze Shyam saw the Pundit had arrived. He let go of Khushi to receive the holy man.
"Come Pundit-ji, you're right on time". He said pleasantly. Shyam led him to the holy fire for the older man to start preparations for the ritual.
"Pundit-ji you can't do this! You can't join us together! He's already married and is trying to marry me against my will!" Khushi rushed to tell him, he was her only hope of getting out of this situation.
The Pundit looked from the anxious girl to Shyam. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This man had mentioned nothing about being already married.
"Is what the bride saying true, child? You do know that if it is than this ceremony won't be accepted by either God or State". The Pundit was quick to say.
Shyam had had enough with all the hold up. He pulled the gun he had tucked at his back, in the waste band of his trousers, and pointed it towards the holy man.
"Get on with what you've been paid for. I didn't call you here to ask questions. If you can't fulfill your duties, you die." The crazy look in Shyam's eyes led the Pundit to believe he wasn't bluffing. With an apologetic look at the poor girl, he started to do as he was told.
With the situation under control, Shyam turned to his to-be-bride. "No one is going to get in the way of me having you, not you, not you're family, no one." Khushi couldn't help but feel despair. Hai devi Mayya, Please save me!
"Time for us to get married Khushi-ji and if you resist I will make you pay, like I did you're Babu-ji." Shyam whispered threateningly in her ear, as he pulled her to the sacred fire, where the Pundit had started praying the mantra.
Don't forget to review. 😃
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