4 months enough???

No matter what, 4 months are not enough to decide if a partner wants to move on in life... We know someone whose husband passed away in an accident 10 months after marriage and while she was 7 months pregnant with their baby... it has been 3 years... she was given her space and time to think about it and now she has decided that she will re-marry and to a guy who would live with her ex in-laws as their son (and they found such a boy) so that she knows that the grandparents are not missing on the little girl's childhood... The guy has 2 other brothers so he said that he will live with this family as long as him/his wife and the baby can go to his parent's once a month or so... that is the realistic situation... not what Kamla is portraying... I am very disappointed it BAVD team... I have come to read this update after about a month and cant believe that the story has stood still since then...Bharati is still lost and this bunch of losers cant even find her yet...and Gaushala is still not exposed...

As I pointed out in Friday's update thread - if Kamala wants a mother for Vihaan, why doesn't she just ask Vani to be his nanny, instead of going all the way & marrying Murli? After all, she's seen sauteli behavior in her family itself from Gau and Ashtami. Why does she automatically assume that if Vani has her own baby, she'll treat it equally w/ Vihaan, and not give him step-motherly treatment? She doesn't once stop to think about whether Vani would actually be a suitable mother for Vihaan under all circumstances?

Vani's best response would be to tell Kamala that she can by no means promise that she'll be fair to Vihaan should she have a child of her own. This should stop Kamala in her tracks. And Gai - previously, she did everything to sabotage Sudha's marriage to Murli, including inviting RA to wreck the Holi celebrations, and now, she is doing everything to encourage Murli's re-marriage. How does that help her, when she knows that Bharti is alive?

The example you gave only works if the woman in question doesn't plan to have more kids. Otherwise, let's say she has kids from her 2nd husband, is it fair to her current in-laws to have their new grandkids stay as well w/ her ex-in-laws? I would think her current in-laws would understandably be resentful of such an arrangement, even if they are broad minded enough to let their son be not just a ghar-damaat, but on top of that, live in his new wife's ex-sasural. It's one thing that a son moves away, but less acceptable that their grandkids call someone else, instead of them, their Dada & Dadi (which they probably would, following the example of their half-bro/sis)

What i know from the example I gave out... they have already talked about these things. Both these families live in villages close by. The guy's parents are very nice and they said if this couple ends up having other kids, they will call girl's ex-in laws nana-nani and guys parents dada-dadi... because the girl's in-laws are actually marrying her off to this guys as parents... it was not their 1st choice that she stays back with them, it was the girl and the boy's decision that till the ex-in laws are alive, both of them will stay with them. And I dont think it really matters these days with the ghar-jamai thing... there are so many families who only have girl child and the girls end up taking care of their parents... we live in 21st century... this ghar-jamai thing is a thing of the past... yes our parents still feel that its not good to be a burden on daughter and son in law...but I think in good families where a son in law is not just a son in law but is considered a son... these thigns dont matter anymore... i will give you an example:

we live in the US, my nani ma came to visit us for about 3 months in 2006 (she passed away in 2008 in India)... well, anyways, she was born in 1919... so her thinking was of that era... my dad loves to cook and sometimes when mom would go out to check on our employees in our Hotel, dad would cook for my grandma and tell her to eat, give her juice (just like a son would care for his mother), but my grandmother felt so embarrassed that her son-in-law was doing all this for her. So one night, we all were sitting and as soon as my dad walked in, my nani moved to the other side of the bed so that my dad can sit and that she has a little distance from him... my dad, went to the other side and asked her something along the lines "you consider me an outsider" and she said "no beta you are like my son"... and he said,"if I was your son, you wouldnt behave like this... do you feel embarrassed when your son cooks for you, or when he comes to the room and sits next to you..."I thinks he realized then that unintentionally she was considering him an outsider... so that day onwards, dad and nani shared a mother-son relationship and it made my dadi ma very happy... so i think it is the matter of mind set...if we are able to make those changes in our society, we will be a much better place to live in...

and now coming back to Kamala rani... I dont even want to discuss her anymore... I heard tha tBAVD is ending on 28th November...two words... THANK GOD!!!!!