Well it really does differ from family to family...not even state to state or town to town etc. It's just that some families are more reluctant to change than others. For instance, I hail from a Catholic family in Kerala, and it's terrifically traditional: the women eat after the men, the girls are supposed to wear only certain kinds of clothes (I remember getting scolded for wearing a kurti with churi pants once because the bottom was considered 'too tight'), the women are supposed to wear veils to church and cover their heads, eve-teasing is attributed to 'daring' to wear non-traditional clothes and going out alone, you know: blaming the victim rather than the perpretator...the list goes on and on. Yet, I'm also aware that there are families in roughly the same state/town/area where there's relatively more freedom, whether they go to church without a veil, where the priests don't frown on a girl wearing Western clothes that much, whether the family eats together.
The focus we must remember for the Galas has always been the surviving elder of the house: and his word is law, whether it makes sense or not. Which is why Baapji can lay so much emphasis on parwaangi and on his permission to do something as basic as getting out of the house before a puja, but ironically deems it his right to decide Mohan's future without taking Mohan's or Saroj's opinions into account.
The good thing about having Baapji as such a central issue of conflict in the serial is that it presents a slight difference in the power structure: it gives us a good reason for having Saroj act the way she does...she isn't just the evil saas who dislikes Kastur as a bahu just because she is not 'educated' by her standards, we're also reminded that Kastur is Baapji's choice, and that in choosing Kastur itself Baapji underlines JUST how little Saroj's own opinion matters.
We're also constantly reminded of Saroj's bahu status, of the fact that in the house no matter which bahu comes in she will always be reminded constantly by Baapji that she is still powerless: the arrival of Narmada didn't change that, the arrival of Kastur won't change that. The only difference here may be that Narmada will be less inclined to bring change in the household as Kastur is, and Saroj has well and truly given up. THAT'S where Kastur's role as an agent of change might fit in. Having the politics within the household being the way it is might drive home an important lesson: that before one decides to change the world, that change must begin in one's home.
Edited by Elizabeth Darcy - 14 years ago
