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A Night to Remember
Four
He thought she was sleeping, but she was in trance, in past. As if death song has been sung, and it was her last chance, last night to relive those memories, and to be with him, they both were in their respective, memories. They were lost in past, and out of sudden she whispered,
'He would have been three years old by now…'
He had no clue what she was talking about, and he asked her again in confusion even though he heard it perfectly,
'What?'
'He…My…Our…Armaan…Our son would have been three years old by now, if you would have not killed…' And she stopped, she could not say it as from deep within her heart, she knew it was not the fact.
He was shocked, she looked at him over her shoulder, she knew he would break down, she held his hand tight, she saw his expression, initially, shocked, surprised, pain and then, anger. She flinched. He was lost, he did not find any words, he just sat there for few seconds and then, suddenly, he pushed away her hands, and he touched his forehead with his hands, he was restless, he refused to accept as he nodded his head in denial, and then, he got up and ran to the small passage in the room, for fresh air, near the window. It was risky but that did not mattered for him as it was the last thing on his mind right then. She quickly got up, noticing half of the people out there was either sleeping or praying or crying silently, she looked at an older woman who looked at her in fear, she felt something, which was unusual. Everyone out there was scared for death, and then, she was there; she was too scared, not for death or not by some terrorists. She was scared for him. She promptly followed him.
As she reached there, she saw him standing near the window, trying to cool down his mind state with the help of cool breeze, completely risking himself. She immediately got it that he was not in shape. She came closer and touched his shoulder and tried to bring him in to avoid any risk. He backed off, she again came closer and he backed off. She decided not to touch him anymore; she stood there for second, and then she broke the killing silence between them,
'It was not your fault…'
'…I killed him. You said that, I know…I killed our baby…I…' His voice was hoarse for chocking up all the tears he blocked.
'Maan…'
'…No…I agree…' he said through breaking voice.
She knew it, what he meant, he accepted it and then, no one in the world could convince him, not even Geet herself. She knew time would heal his wounds, only if they would stay alive. She chose not to speak anything because she knew; only her silence would make him speak up. She waited, and then, suddenly he fell onto his knees, hugging her waist, and groaned. She felt like she would die listening to his constant apologies and cry. She was crying silently, without making noise and then, she fell down on her knees and hugged him tight. She clutched onto his neck tightly and let him cry for their lost son.
'It's okay…Okay…Maan…its okay….' She could only utter few words through her labored breaths. She heard his whimpers and she cupped his face, kissed his tears away, and caressed his face.
'I…am…sorry…' he could hardly say this.
And, she again, hugged him tight, she rubbed his back to soothe away his pain and torture which he was going through. For the first time after her miscarriage, she felt like she cried and she regretted for it. She felt like, she was complete in sharing her pain, all these years she shared it alone and now, she felt like, it was complete and it was time when she could move on because she knew, he had shared her pain, took all her pain. She remained still in his arms for a while. They both silently were lost, reminisced their lost, unborn, unlucky child.
***
'I forgive you.' She stated as she looked at him.
His all tears were dried up, and he was holding her hand tightly, staring at the ceiling with defeated, torn and crushed look. He did not look at her; he was much ashamed to look at her. He thought he would never ever able to forgive himself, at least not in this life which he thought, was not anymore significant. He mentally, decided that he would try his best to save her life and as many lives he can but he would not even try to save his own life. He was sure, he was regretting and only way he could pay for his mistake was an eye for an eye. He did not deserve her; he did not deserve to stay alive.
'Maan…' she shook him as she knew that he was not even looking at her.
'Stop blaming yourself. We both were at fault…' she said as she comprehended from his look that he was blaming himself.
'Geet…I don't know whether we will see next morning or not…I don't know if I would be there or not…I just wanted to confess few things.' He whispered in her ear.
She looked at him in shock, because till now, he was the one who kept her hope alive and now he was talking about last night and last words. However, she decided to give in, as she was agreed that, if it was last night together then, she had few confessions to make and one of which she confessed and she saw the result, he was broken, he was changed man in an hour. It was midnight, still, none of them were sleepy, his eyes were red and swollen, from crying and overnight as she correctly assumed that he might not slept last night, as she knew, he was a workaholic.
'I am very sorry…I never meant what I said that night…I didn't mean it at all…And, I missed you in these three years like hell…I was more of a jerk to accept it but I missed you every single breath I took.' He said genuinely.
'I know you were right…I am so sorry Maan, I should have listened to you. It was Yash, you were right, he cheated me and he used me to get that contract…You warned me and I did not listen to you…I am sorry! But when I lost…OUR Armaan, I became ruthless; all I could see was my pain, my loss and my grief. I was emotionally, a disaster in a nutshell.' she said.
And, he was shocked once again, he knew Yash was not the right guy, and when he said it to her, she refused and after three years she accepted it.
'Do you still hate me?' he asked.
He was expecting yes, as he remembered once he said to her, the person who love you has each and every right to hate you, if she would say no then it would silently and plainly proved that she did not loved him, he did not matter to her anymore. He was expecting yes.
'Yes. I hate you but don't you understand from it that I love you?' she simply said what he has been thinking from past few seconds.
'Do you remember you once said to me? If I don't hate you when you are wrong then I don't love you because you don't affect me anymore. I love you and I have each and every right to hate you, but even when I hated you all these years…I could not…' she stopped. It was impossible for her to continue. And he understood and he completed it,
'…because you love me. I know it's terribly exhausting to hate each other.'
They were silent for a while, and surprisingly, same thought crossed their mind, simultaneously. They mentally, convinced that, it was not late, they could still be together, though for the last time, but they could. They said it even, together,
'We can start from all over again…'
'Let's start over…'
And, even in this scary, slow and horrified night, they smiled a bit. She was relaxed as she saw a small smile on his face. He was happy that if at least nothing then, he could make her smile for a while. But, he knew he had some other plans, he wanted to pay for his mistakes, her forgiveness would not free him, and he had something to do yet. They clasped their hands together. And, she completed the sentence,
'…For few hours!' and she again smiled.
As they sat for few more moments, suddenly they realized that someone was shot, he quickly got up and saw him, he was none another than, manager – Mr. Mehra. He felt awful and angry, he was much angry then, and it was time then, few more men with more weapons came but this time he noticed that they were in uniforms, they got help, there was an open shoot out between army men and terrorists. Geet hid her face in his broad chest as she could not see it; there was much distance between them and the location. And out of the blue, Maan realized that there was one door at the end of the corridor, it quickly, clicked in his mind that if he would open that door, he could save almost all people in that room, but there was just one problem, and that was, the distance between the main door and the room, he left her hand as he wanted to check through window about number of army men out there who can save them. She grabbed him from his arms, and signed him not to leave her once again; he looked at her affectionately, and caressed his face,
'I will be back. Stay active and alive and take care…' And he quickly left.
She clutched onto her heart in fear and terror, she was yet again, scared for him, as she was no more trusting fate tonight, they were saved almost twice, and somehow she could not believed that they were blessed to such extent.
As he saw out from the window, he took a breath of relief as he saw too many people out there, but unfortunately they were not able to look at him, it was such a small window. He quickly came back and smiled at her,
'You always complained that I never did some HERO act, right?'
Before she could understand and replied back, he continued,
'Here is the time baby…!' he smiled and again left the place.
She saw him in wonder, there was mixed feeling in her heart, she was sad, upset, happy that they were together but the time and night was cursed. She wanted him to come back and stop his foolishness, she always joked about his bravery and now when he was doing something, she was the one who was scared to death. She closed her eyes, as she saw him running down the corridor wild, and saving himself from gunshots. She was happy that they were about to get out from here, they got help, and soon, she would be there in his arms, and they would smile and kiss each others pain away, and they would cover the loss for last three years. She was in her thoughts and she heard more gunshots, and she quickly opened her eyes, just to look for him, and then she saw him, standing near the door, shouting loud, and asking someone to get in and then, in next immediate moment, a group of cops, army men came in, began the firing, he get down on his knees and all the people out there was rushed down to the corridor, just to get out form the damn door and save their lives. She also ran, but not to get out from the door, but to run and crush into her arms.
Everything was silent after few minutes, as all the people in the room was left, she initially ran and then, she slowed down, she walked with wobbly legs, she was tired from the events of the early night, it was too much stress for her weak body to bear. She was walking and smiling.
'Will you marry me, again...NOW?' he asked her, he was already on his knees.
She smiled through tears, and tried to say yes, but she could not as the voice was lost in her throat. She was amazed because it was the strangest request from him; the place was not even in proximity to be called as marriage hall or a peaceful place. It was a crime scene. She was amazed as he knew it all and even after that, he asked for it. She was confused then, because there was no priest there, they have no vows, just nothing. But when she looked at him in his eyes, she was ready, because as he always used to say, a marriage is a private affairs, only and only between two people. He was there. She was there. They were together and that was all they needed.
'I would take that as a YES! Walk to me…Come to me…' he ordered as he understood it from her eyes.
And, she started walking elegantly with fear hidden in her eyes, she looked at him, he was smiling through the shine of lone tear in the corner of his eyes, she chose not to think much and she walked slowly, gazing at him constantly, and then, there was another explosion somewhere she did not know but she felt nothing, just before few hours, she was numb in his arms, yet again, she was numb, but this time, she could feel something in her heart, it was pounding strongly. She remembered her wedding, their wedding was in traditional way, and she remembered the day, she was in haste, she was worried for his look and then, when she saw him in the marriage hall, she was stunned, she was staring at him like she would eat him alive, she would attack that beautiful man ready to pledge his life, it was sad that at that moment, she did not know fate would have some other plans for them. Her marriage was simple, traditional even though it was much talked and awaited, big fat wedding. She felt like she was walking down the aisle, the explosion made her weak, and she felt like she would fell down but then, she looked at him, he was smiling at her and he was silently, giving her strength through his eyes, to walk down the corridor as if it was aisle, to walk to him, to come to him in his arms forever. He adored her through his eyes, and she felt innate strength within her soul as he stared at her and silently asking her to come to him for last time.
She indeed felt like she was walking down the aisle, except the fact that, instead of candles lit through the edge of the wall, it was all bright and radiance because of the fire from explosion, instead of flowers decorated at place, there were dust and small pieces of burnt furniture, wall, papers, ashes, lights and glasses. Instead of melodious music or beautiful verse, there was chaos all around, the screaming of terrified people and sounds of gunshots. Instead of guests and priest, there were cops and terrorists, there was no minister, no priest, no vows, just nothing. They both were there, and their eyes were speaking a lot, they were making all the promises all over again, to love each other, to be with each other till the last breath which she thought, might be counting. They were alone there, each and every fiber constructing universe just stopped, and they were alive all over again, they were rejuvenated again, and they were smiling at each other.
Even if it would sound completely nonsense later in her life, if she would survive this, then also, she would proud to say that, when she was surviving a terrorist attack, walking to him between chaos, with complete fear and terror, somewhere in the small part of her subconscious mind, for their situation she just remembered few words for him and for her, she would be laughing at this after the night, that in between fire and shooting, she was remembering a song and her favorite lines from it, which was meant for him, for them.
If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me, And just forget the world?
It was all that his eyes were speaking and her mind was thinking.
She was walking and then, as she reached three steps away from him, out of the blue, she saw a man, out of nowhere he came there, exactly behind his back, he was running for his life, saving himself, he was in complete black, with a gun in his hand, pointing at her, and she stopped. She froze. She looked out for cops but they were not near, in proximity of their location, it would take five or six minutes for any cop to come there, she knew it calling for help was useless. He did not know who was behind his back but he sensed in her eyes, that something was amiss, she was happy but she was hiding something, he smiled and quickly got up and turned around and saw the gunman standing unaware, and as bad luck showered upon him, the gunman standing against the glass sliding saw him, and before she could comprehend anything, she found herself in front of him, and he was in front of the gunman and then, he was between Geet and the death disguised in that gunman. It was the moment so slow, so weird and so scary as she saw him smiling weirdly at her, and he turned around, behind his back, she was still numb as she did not understand what was going on and within a fraction of a second, she heard a shot, she closed her eyes, as she could not take it more. She closed her eyes, in pain, in fear, in terror, in shock, in begging, in praying to god for him, for her. She felt some pieces of glassed crashed into her as well on the floor. After a while, when she opened her eyes, she could not found him, she saw the black, cruel, monster look alike, selfish and brutal gunman standing in front of her. Her eyes searched for him, and then, she looked down, a trail of blood was passing by her legs from his body, he was lying there on the cold floor, moaning in extreme pain, struggling to smile at her but could not. She saw him, looking at her with hope in his eyes; he was looking at her as if he was asking for the last time to touch her, to feel her. He stretched out his arms to call her and soon with fluttering eyes, he dropped his hand.
She instantly, bent down and caressed his face,
'Maan…Maan…Maan…Look at me, open your eyes, stay with me…Stay with me…You…You don't get to die on me…Maan…Stay with me….' She said almost screaming, completely avoiding the gunman.
'I deserve this…' he said through labored breaths with closed eyes.
He was bleeding uncontrollably. She was crying uncontrollably.
He was beginning to shut down. She was beginning to faint down.
He closed his eyes. She was frozen.
He was gone…
She was…lost.
( … to be continued )
Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1W5lFW-vUY[/YOUTUBE]
Listen to this, amazing, beautiful song ! It's my ORDER ! 😉
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Aami Daakini
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