Posted:
No...I never thot this was going to be so hard...I never thot that saying a simple word such as a "goodbye" wud mean stepping over my own heart...crushing it to pieces and burning myself to ashes...
Ohhh Anant!!!...Why do u mean so much to me??? Why did u enter my life when u were going to rule my every day...hour n second of the breath that the life was going to give me??? HUh!!!...Why blame u...when I myself have no clue when I left the doors of my heart slightly unlocked from where u peaked thru...slowly piercing thru each shield that protect my being n finally rooting urself deep beneath the beds of my soul!!!
When Ritz n Appy grabbed me in a rush to take me to u...I knew no ends to the happiness that came rushing at the very thot of it...n despite the rushed frequency of my heartbeats at that moment...I managed to keep my conscience alive and requested for an official permission from maa b4 I stepped out d door under her eyes...She is my best friend afterall...I cudnt just walk past her without having an assurance that she will be fine...
The shocking surprise came just a lill later ...when I stepped out of the rickshaw and saw the innocently smiling face of Anant who was standing in front of me with oodles of happiness in his eyes...and that surprise was the about turn that my thots made as I saw n met this cheerful n happily as never b4 Anant!!! Words began to play scrabble in my tongue and my heart stood paused at it juncture not knowing how to react...I was left with the only choice that I prolly wanted more than anything at that moment and that was to just play along with this chirpy fun loving Anant and capture the moment...in my heart n my memory...It was going to be a 6 wk long separation...and I cud not have handled a sulking n pouting Anant...He wud have only added to my despair n grieving heart...
Yes I was being selffish I suppose...but how cud I have the heart to tell him that Anant..."there is no tomorrow"..How cud I have told him that Anant ..."i am going for a long period of time n I dont know wats up next in this beautiful journey of ours"...
Its not that I didnt try...but Anant's consistent innocence n naive happiness were defying my each attempt and I grabbed him from his waist n held him tight to my heart in that hug so as to not let anyone...not even air come in between us for that moment...I wanted to drown in him and somewhere wished that I vanish into him as well never to be found by anyone...Alas!! Its an irony that the hug Anant was thinking to be the beginning of his new venture towards my family was indeed a hug of departure of our beings from each other...
Why oh why...love is so painful...why is it that despite this pain...u still wanna just keeping absorbing urself more into that pool of wounds???
Looking back at Anant while driving away from Anant was my one n only resort to solace of my restless heart n soul as I kept letting the concentration of my eyes get to the deepest most core...A moment...a smile...a face I collected as my share of resolution!!!!!! đł
Navya signing off
23/08/11
Rab Raakha
Shilpa đ¤
Ohhh Anant!!!...Why do u mean so much to me??? Why did u enter my life when u were going to rule my every day...hour n second of the breath that the life was going to give me??? HUh!!!...Why blame u...when I myself have no clue when I left the doors of my heart slightly unlocked from where u peaked thru...slowly piercing thru each shield that protect my being n finally rooting urself deep beneath the beds of my soul!!!
When Ritz n Appy grabbed me in a rush to take me to u...I knew no ends to the happiness that came rushing at the very thot of it...n despite the rushed frequency of my heartbeats at that moment...I managed to keep my conscience alive and requested for an official permission from maa b4 I stepped out d door under her eyes...She is my best friend afterall...I cudnt just walk past her without having an assurance that she will be fine...
The shocking surprise came just a lill later ...when I stepped out of the rickshaw and saw the innocently smiling face of Anant who was standing in front of me with oodles of happiness in his eyes...and that surprise was the about turn that my thots made as I saw n met this cheerful n happily as never b4 Anant!!! Words began to play scrabble in my tongue and my heart stood paused at it juncture not knowing how to react...I was left with the only choice that I prolly wanted more than anything at that moment and that was to just play along with this chirpy fun loving Anant and capture the moment...in my heart n my memory...It was going to be a 6 wk long separation...and I cud not have handled a sulking n pouting Anant...He wud have only added to my despair n grieving heart...
Yes I was being selffish I suppose...but how cud I have the heart to tell him that Anant..."there is no tomorrow"..How cud I have told him that Anant ..."i am going for a long period of time n I dont know wats up next in this beautiful journey of ours"...
Its not that I didnt try...but Anant's consistent innocence n naive happiness were defying my each attempt and I grabbed him from his waist n held him tight to my heart in that hug so as to not let anyone...not even air come in between us for that moment...I wanted to drown in him and somewhere wished that I vanish into him as well never to be found by anyone...Alas!! Its an irony that the hug Anant was thinking to be the beginning of his new venture towards my family was indeed a hug of departure of our beings from each other...
Why oh why...love is so painful...why is it that despite this pain...u still wanna just keeping absorbing urself more into that pool of wounds???
Looking back at Anant while driving away from Anant was my one n only resort to solace of my restless heart n soul as I kept letting the concentration of my eyes get to the deepest most core...A moment...a smile...a face I collected as my share of resolution!!!!!! đł
Navya signing off
23/08/11
Rab Raakha
Shilpa đ¤
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