Kesar's homecoming, farewell for a new begining

18/8/11

The mood created by the panchayat environment is so despondent. Gulaal's father walks upto her and assures his support to her. Kesar had to speak to her before she gave her opinion to the panchayat. He closes his eyes, swallows the pain within and walks up to her. I like how he called out to her "Gulaaal" in such a soothing tone. His love for her is such that even when his heart is breaking to pieces he can smile at her and request her to keep her happiness as priority while making her decision and not to worry for any other's sake. When he repeated"kis aur ka nahi", there was this tone of request, finality and sadness in his voice. She is overwhelmed by his gesture in requesting her to put herself first before others when she can very well see how hurt he is.

I liked how she worded her sentence "Mein yeh deeyarvatu aaj bhi todna chahti hoon" It is strange how she worded it. She did not say things like I agree to separate from him or I have decided to end this relationship or I want to free myself from this bondage. She used the word "Aaj bhi". There is a lot of underlying emotion there. Probably it was her way of saying to herself silently 'I don't want this to end but" after which she says out aloud "mei aaj bhi yeh deeyarvatu todna chahti hoon". Somehow I could sense her grief over the issue too as if she is helpless saying "mein yeh DV aaj bhi todna chahti hoon" but her mind is full of her own reasons for which she is deciding this.

That was a final hit to Kesar foreseeing the finality in losing her forever from his life. He is shattered beyond words though he manages to compose himself and only looks at her. When asked about his decision, he did not try to make her feel guilty and like a true partner goes on to say he has his equal consent for this decision. The first time she called the panchayat, he disagreed. The next time he called the panchayat, he said he is willing to free her as she wishes. This time he gives the panchayat the feel that they both have agreed on mutual consent.

When Motaba finally declares that this 10 year long DV is over and done with forever, he just closes his eyes once for this reality to sink in, to gulp down the pain of losing her, to compose himself and look poised.

I can't believe that Motaba, the village head who has the authority to manage the entire village acts like a puppet in front of Pannba. I think Giga Kaka atleast shuts his wife up with a "Bas kar" each time. Today MB just hid himself in his wife's pallu I can say. Why should Pannba blame Kesar for listening to his wife Gulaal all the time? Like father, like son. At least Kesar speaks up his mind and is the one to take decisions like the time he left the house or fought for her dignity at any given time.

KESAR GULAAL POST SEPARATION

Kesar walks up to Gulaal. This time he does not even touch her to get her attention like he usually does. He maintains a distance from her and goes on to say that he had anticipated this day and was sort of prepared for it. When he said "kahi na kahin, is din ke liye taiyyar bhi tha", that kahin na kahin gives a feeling that he had partly anticipated this day or maybe I am wrong and the "kahin na kahin" was about being prepared and not about part anticipation with hope for the better. Along with Gulaal and her dad, I was moved by his decision saying he would drop her home. He left his home along with Gulaal and stayed in Talli's home. I am sure Kesar did not want their relationship ending midway on the streets where her father would take charge of her and take her to his home. So he decides to officially end their relationship in the most dignified and responsible way by leaving her at her home, the place she has chosen to live henceforth. Truly a respectable character Kesar is.

KESAR'S FAREWELL TO GULAAL

Kesar brings her back home. It was as though he just goes about doing his duty, he brought her home and he was immediately ready to leave. Requests from everyone does not hold him back, he is firm in his resolve to leave. And he does not really hide his feelings and he says it would be hard for him to leave the more he stays any longer. When thankfully Poonamba decided to leave them alone, the deafening silence was really unbearable. Both of them have to say the same thing to each other "Apna khyal rakhna", they smile through their tears but Kesar can't atke it any longer. Holding back his pain has been too hard that he quickly leaves with a "Mein chalta hoon"

It was really sad to see him rush out unable to bear the pain anymore and being so shattered from within. He does tilt his head once toward her house, but he did not turn back. He looks up skyward once, closes his eyes and lets his tears run down. He did not want to look back, into the past and hence moves on. I wish he had seen Gulaal who had come over to see him retreat.

KESAR"S HOMECOMING

Kesar comes home to see that Giga Kaka has left a note and gone missing. He quickly decides to go looking for him when the villagers bring him home. Appreciate Talli's presence of mind to get a towel to dry his hair as he has attempted suicide by jumping into the lake.

Kesar is totally surprised to see Jamna Kaki picking a fight and asking his dad to stay away from his own brother. To top it all, his mother starts to pick at what Jamnakaki has started. It was literally "Tu Tu Mein Mein". Unable to see the family drift apart, Kesar yells at them to stop with a final "Bas keejiye".

Kesar could not see the family in ruins like this. He understands Gulaal lived a sad life and suffered alone just to keep Vasant's dream alive. And that very reason is going waste in spite of her sacrificial efforts. TThat forced him to ask if they can't live in unity like before. Motaba had to say it that it was impossible when the truth had caused the rift so wide apart that their hearts can't belong together anymore and broken hearts can't be mended together. He used the opportunity to finally tell them that had not Gulaal lived with the secret all by herself, this family would have drifted apart long time ago just like how it is happening right at that moment.

By the way I do see Kesar with long hair in the wide camera shots but with short hair in the close up shots. Looks like the scenes were shot separately.

Originally posted by: MeySimi

That was a final hit to Kesar foreseeing the finality in losing her forever from his life. He is shattered beyond words though he manages to compose himself and only looks at her. When asked about his decision, he did not try to make her feel guilty and like a true partner goes on to say he has his equal consent for this decision. The first time she called the panchayat, he disagreed. The next time he called the panchayat, he said he is willing to free her as she wishes. This time he gives the panchayat the feel that they both have agreed on mutual consent.

Ganga he's this man who knows his love is independent of whatever relationship they officially share or not - he hasn't lost Gulaal in his heart and mind - but he has lost this right to exert rights on her, to hover around her... to be responsible for her. He's simply lost that 'worldly reason' to be accepted around each other 24/7. Its not the bond of husband and wife breaking that shatters him, as Reemz said on my thread, they've never 'truly' been man and wife - its the fact that he can no longer legitimately hold onto a 'name' and do all this heart desires for her! His predicament is so, so unfortunate!

I can't believe that Motaba, the village head who has the authority to manage the entire village acts like a puppet in front of Pannba. I think Giga Kaka atleast shuts his wife up with a "Bas kar" each time. Today MB just hid himself in his wife's pallu I can say. Why should Pannba blame Kesar for listening to his wife Gulaal all the time? Like father, like son. At least Kesar speaks up his mind and is the one to take decisions like the time he left the house or fought for her dignity at any given time.

Okay, I sort of disagree over this. While PB surely came in the way, I think what kept MB from actually bridging the distance was his tearing dilemma between his grieving for Gulaal as an almost father, and his disappointment in her 'betrayal' that he cannot seem to forget. Like he says back in the house - things cannot be the same, and just at that point of end of Panchayat, he is moved for the chaos in his cherished daughter cum daughter in law's life, but the walking in of PB snaps him back into the torn state, and he still hasn't found it in his heart to forgive her. To me, it was not PB that kept him from walking up to Gulaal, but simply the sight of PB reminding him why the rift even exists at this point, as he momentarily forgets at the sight of her unadulterated loss and pain.

KESAR'S FAREWELL TO GULAAL

He did not want to look back, into the past and hence moves on. I wish he had seen Gulaal who had come over to see him retreating...

Another moment of being torn between this and that. Between dying from his need to see her, and the unbearable pain in the actual sight of her, after losing his right to call her his own! I think he wants to turn back, because he's starkly aware of her presence, but that precise awareness keeps him from turning back - in his words, jitna rukunga, utna jaana mushkil hojayega!

He volunteers to complete his duty for dropping her home - almost like he needs Gulaal to believe he will be fine, and handle himself, which to him is possible if he puts himself through this ordeal - but of course, undergoing the process gets to him - he wants to get out of that place the second he's 'handed her over'. He's breaking inside every moment, putting up the facade of standing one single piece is just plain testing...