15/08/11
Kesar looks earnestly at Gulaal with a hope that she does not deny this simple wish to eat from one plate. Gulaal looks a little hesitant, not too sure about it but she does give in when he asks if she is not hungry and that they should share the plate if there is only one for the time being.
I love the way Kesar looks at Gulaal his eyes overflowing with love as if seeing her eat from his plate was a moment of bliss for him. When she asks him to eat too, he smiles and does share the plate with her. I like the way Kesar was enjoying the food made by Gulaal almost licking his hands and appreciating it but sees her worried. He is wondering what is causing her to worry, he asks what was wrong but there was a slight disappointment and irritation probably seeing her worry thinking of the family members. To get her out of that gloom, he says he is enough to care for her; he is always there with her to support her and blames them for not having faith on her.
When Gulaal reminds him that he had the same doubts in his mind a while ago, we could see Kesar's worry over what had happened, anxiety sensing the hurt he caused Gulaal and his own guilt for disbelieving and doubting her. He clarifies that he has no more doubts, that he was nave and immature to understand her magnanimity ever. And for the same reason, because he feels Gulaal should not feel pressurized over clarifying he says, he did not want to know the truth but she may tell when she feels it necessary. The urgency with which gulaal says"Aaj" makes him wonder. There was a little apprehension in him when she talks about giving him the right to know her version of the truth. He is overwhelmed when he hears that she is willing to share the truth with HIM, the truth that she has NEVER shared with anyone else. He was sort of anxious in anticipation of the actual truth that has shattered many lives today.
Kesar was patient and calm while listening to her. When she mentions Vasant and his dreams, we could see reverence for his Vasant ba in his eyes. When she said about giving the promise to Vasant, he understands the seriousness of that big promise. When Gulaal says "little did I know I would have to fulfill this promise single-handedly", we can see Kesar is pained by what Gulaal might have gone through. When she goes on to say she married him to stay in the house to fulfill the promise, he just clears a lump in his throat probably in acceptance of the fact that their marriage was a actually and in reality a compromise.
When Gulaal says that one day she learnt that Dushyant killed Vasant, we could see Kesar reliving that horrible truth within the flash of a moment. From here on when Gulaal says that she opted for fulfilling the promise over Dushyant's truth, she chose the former; we could see respect building in his eyes. As she said she killed herself to hide the truth about her husband's murderer; Kesar is pained all the more. At that moment, he wipes his tear away. His love for his brother Vasant was always there but Gulaal took over that place in his heart years ago. So for Kesar the hurt and pain of seeing Gulaal suffering over that incident is more severe than the actual pain that his brother's untimely death had caused him. For the first time, he heard from HIS GULAAL, the reason why she chose to remain silent over this whole murder and it hurt him, it pained him all the more. For the first time he understood the gravity of the situation under which Gulaal chose to do what she did.
Kesar's reaction was superb when Gulaal asks him if he can understand how hard it would have been for her to live under the same roof with her husband's murderer. Kesar was so moved when she actually asked him if he could ever understand. He had tears in his eyes only in such moments of realizing how much Gulaal would have gone through unlike the previous scene where both of the cried out together after Dushyant's secret was revealed. But unlike Gulaal, Kesar can never really behave that way with Dushyant. He looks away when she mentions that she managed to reform him to an extent. He was not really in awe of the reform in Dushyant whatsoever.
Kesar was hurting more than Gulaal, seeing her guilt ridden over the fact that she could not eventually fulfill Vasant's dream. He blamed herself repeatedly "Mei kuch nahi kar paayi" that made him look so pained and helpless. When Gulaal turns away to cry out, like a thorough gentleman he laid his hands of support on her head. Gulaal needed that support from him, that reassurance from the guy who meant so much to her given the circumstances under which he has supported her without questioning her integrity.
That makes her to seek him out for comfort and support that she takes his hand and draws close to him for a hug. That is Kesar. Without overstepping his boundaries, he holds her close and supports her. He had a solemn face when he calls out to her "Gulaal!!!'. That was a determined Kesar who was willing to wipe away all the pain from her life. I truly respect this character Kesar who goes on to say that with the same rights that she has given him to hear her version of the truth, he declares her as innocent. I like how he says "Tera Kesar".
There is a certain ease with which this exclusive private moment ended. Kesar seeks apology in advance to speak his mind. He has avoided the topic of his love for her since he has always found her uncomfortable with that. But he needs to speak up of how he felt hearing this side of her story. He has no reservations in saying that his respect for her has gone up several notches high, as well as while saying that his love for her has only doubled or increased more than before. There is certain closeness in them even as Gulaal has moved away from his secure embrace and she has a sign of acceptance when she hears this time that his love for her has only amplified.
Kesar knows more than Gulaal has ever imagined. In fact Gulaal after knowing that Dushyant threw Vasant off the bridge has convinced herself that Dushyant murdered Vasant. He says there is more to this murder than the Dushyant angle and he is all set out to find that out. Though she knew it ever since, Kesar only brought up the issue again.
I like the child like enthusiasm in Kesar when it comes to elders. He brushes aside both their fears, says he slipped and fell but he was more interested to know if there was anything exclusive for him from all that Poonamba has brought home. Kesar has no ego issues when it comes to genuine love. He does not deny help saying only he would take care of Gulaal. Gulaal as usual comes up with "Freshen up and don't eat with soiled hands" but this time Kesar is in no mood to abide by her order and says" don't stop me today". Hearing his MIL's request, he looks worried, because his cooperation has always been there but it is Gulaal who has to decide if she wants him in her life.
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16/08/11
Okay, I would rather prefer to keep my temper under check as I am writing today's scenes of Kesar and Gulaal.
I love Kesar's chatter as he says that he has got a fair saree order and within time they would be fine with (probably his salary coming in). Gulaal has read the threat letter to Kesar and is ofcourse worried. Kesar is too surprised to see Gulaal clutching his hand, looks at her and immediately realizes that something is bothering her. He treats he like a child when she is worried. His tone in asking her what bothered her was really sweet. She shows him the letter, Kesar gets angry and rushes to take care of them 9lekin where did he head to?). Gulaal shares her fears. When he says he doesn't fear anyone, she says she does. That takes him by utter surprise. When she says that she cant afford to lose him now and that she has already lost precious ones from her life, he is really moved. His reaction is a mix of surprise hearing her concern and happiness that she cares for him a lot. That gives him the courage to speak up and reassure her that nothing woukd befall him when her prayers are with him. He tells her that he understands her concern and assures her that he would take care of himself now that she is his responsibility. That moves Gulaal. Seeing her reaction, he corrects himself saying "Until this DV remains, in this one month" and then it strikes him that there is hardly a month left for that day. The way he says" Abe k hi mahina bacha Gulaal'..Bas itna hi waqt" had his fears coming up that their relationship will end. For the first time, I could see fear in both their eyes when they realized about the flying time. Gulaal totally wants to avoid that issue that she excuses herself saying she would get ready with the breakfast.
Kesar's request is beautiful yet strange. He was busy trying to fill her life with happiness in these three months. But today he asked something in return, not her love but some memorable moments in the remaining few days that he can cherish forever, those special moments that could help sustain him even after they have separated. It is so disturbing to see both of them suffer silently when actually nothing stops them from living their life together. Both manage to smile at each other, for each other through their tears.
The song that played "yeh jeevan hai" was a total disaster. I won't even get into writing the details because I may end up writing harsh words.
Seeing Kesar react seeing the driver guy, I thought he would reserve the next cell in the prison next to his Dushyant Ba.
Precap:
More than the episode, the precap moved me to tears when Kesar said that he is happy with that half image of his next to her photo. In fact he lived like this all his life. He feels he was never the priority in her life as compared to Vasant or the family. Though she used to give in to his childhood tantrums, Kesar was always the last in her list in front of her Vasant and his family. I was especially hurt hearing the dialogue 'pata nahi, kal ke baad teri zindagi mei itna bhi rahunga ya nahi"
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