Dakshna FF(Fan fiction)

Asma Begum Ullah / Shahida (Shay)

@storytellerSSBN

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Posted: 14 years ago

#41

Thnx, lucky for the compliments. I thought everyone would hate the fact I even mentioned Sonakshi.

Don't stop writing sweetheart on my behalf, I think everyone else likes it and I'm not even sure why I don't .

Edited by storytellerSSBN - 14 years ago

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DakshnaFan

@DakshnaFan

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Posted: 14 years ago

#42

Wow superb 👏👏 awesome

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Neethu

@ntsindia

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Posted: 14 years ago

#43

Stroy teller, it is so cute...

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Asma Begum Ullah / Shahida (Shay)

@storytellerSSBN

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Posted: 14 years ago

#44

thanx, neethu & DakshNa fan

Edited by storytellerSSBN - 14 years ago

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Asma Begum Ullah / Shahida (Shay)

@storytellerSSBN

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Posted: 14 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: storytellerSSBN
Night time at Patwardan house. Naina gets up to get some water. She sees Daksh's light is still on in his room, so goes to check on him and sees him lost in his thoughts and worried. He is sitting on the side of his bed N: I hope tum merehi khayalo me koye ho?
D: Naina, tum kab aayi?

N: pehle mene sawal kiya, toh pehle tum mere sawal ka jawab do ge. Naina sits on the edge of Daksh's bed , right up close to him & facing him.

(Aur ache se soch kar jawab dena .Tumne galat jawab diya to tumhare khair nahi, Samjhe)

or maybe this shud be

(Waise bhi mein jaanti hoon, ki tumhara jawab kya hoga, lekihn pir bhi mein tumhare muh se sun na chahti hoon)

D: Aisa he kya (tum mindreader ho)

N: Haa, par sirf tumhari, mein tumhari best friend/aadangini (better half) jo hoon

D: Naina, tum to jaanti ho mein hamesha sach bolta hoon, sach ke siva aur kuch nahi bolta. Mujhse to jhoot bola nahi jaanta. Jhoot se mujhe sakt nafrat hain. Abi bhi me sirf sach bolunga

N: Haa, baba, get to the point. tum kiske bhare main soch rahete.

D: mein Sonakshi ki bhare me soch rahata.

N: (Naina looking worried) Sonakshi ki bhare mein?

D: Ha, mein soch rahata ke uski birthday ke liye me use kya gift doon, aur woh akruti ke liye bhi bohot kuch kar rahi hain, to mein use to ek acha git to desakta hoon, use yeh dikhane ke liye mein uski madat ko appreciate karta hoon. Flowers, Roses, card. Tumhari paas to ache ideas honge, tumhe kya lagta hain Sonakshi ko pasand aayega?

N:(Angry) Pasand toh Sonakshi ko tumho, pata nahi kyun.

Naina take pillow nad hits Daksh but daksh grabs her and hold her down on the bed and eye lock.

D: Tum to mere jhoot ko sach maan liya aur naraz bhi hogayi. Tumhara Daksh, uski Naina ki siva kisi aur ke bhare mein soch sakta hain kya.

N: Nahi, me yeh achi tarah se jaanti hoon. Par tum jhoot bola kab sikhe.

D: I learnt from the best, tumse. Tum mujhpe bohot bura influence ho.

N: Meri tang cherna choro, (hits him with the pillow again).

D: Sorry (Holds his ears)

N: Itni asani se me tumhe maf nahi karne vali. Mujhe meri khaas tofa chahiye, joh tum mere liye laye te.

Daksh gives her the broken globe.

D; Tumhe pata hain, mein ne kitni mushkil se yeh love globe tumhare liye layata. yeh dukan mein akhri globe ta aur kisi aur aadmi ne use karidliya ta. mene bohot mannat ki usse mujhe globe de ne ke liye, mein meri gari dene wala ta uske ek bar kehnepar, par usne yeh dekh kar pir gari lenese mana karliya aur globe aise hi dedi. usko dikhaye diya ki mein tumhare liye yeh globe kitna lana chahtata/tumhe kitna pyar karta hoon.

N: Sach

D: Uske baad kya hua to suno, uske baad kuch gundone globe ko chura liya ta par mene un gundoka achi se pitayi ki aur globe wapas le li.

N: Is baar tum mujhe ullu nahi bana sakte

D: Nahi, me mazak nahi kar raha hoon, ye ek dam sach hain,

N: Haa, Haa,

D:Agar tum meri baat par vishwas nahi karti, toh yeh love globe mujhe vapas kardo

N: nahi, me vapas nahi doongi, yeh mera hain.

Daksh tries to take it off her. But naina moves her hand too fast.

Then

N: Ouch

D: Naina, kya hua, tumhe chot lag gayi kya, khoon to nahi behraha hein. mein ne kaha ta na, me ne kaha ta ki mein ek naya globe lekar de ta hoon , par tumhe to yeh toota wala globe hi chahne ki zid ki. meri baat to tum sunti/maanti hi nahi ho.. Ab dekho kya hua. Shaadi ki baad, tumhari koi zid nahi chalegi, tumhe meri har bat manna parega, Samjhi.

Alternatively, she could actually cut her finger and blled and Daksh could drink her blood (I think i've seen this in other serials) and we get nother eyelock.

N: (Giggles).ab hissa barabar hogaya. Tumne agar mujhe ullu banaye hai, toh mene tumko sab se bara ullu banaya hain. (Daksh looks annoyed-embarrased) Mujhe kuch nahi hua. Itni chot ke liye , tum kitna khabragaye aur kitna daat ne lage. Itna pyaar karte ho mujhko. Tumhe pata hai, KP jab tum gusse me hote ho, tum kitna hot lagte ho (Daksh blushes), haa, aise lagta hain ki tumhari kaano se dua nikhal rahe. (Naina giggles again) Naina Bharadwaj 2, KP, 1.

D: Mujhe ab bohot neend aageyi hain, tum meri kamre se aab nikal jao,, please.

N: acha, is bar chali jaanti hoon, par shaadi ki baad jab hamari beech jagra hoga to ye kamra par mera bhi haq hoga, tab tumhe is kamre se nikhal na hoga ya pir zameen par sona hoga, Samjhe, KP. Agar tum KP ho, to mein bhi Mrs KP hoon.

Daksh hold her with both hands and pulls her right close to him.

D: Samjha, Mrs KP.

Edited by storytellerSSBN - 14 years ago

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Neethu

@ntsindia

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Posted: 14 years ago

#46

Story teller... the modifications are fine...
All, please do continue writing scenes...

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Asma Begum Ullah / Shahida (Shay)

@storytellerSSBN

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Posted: 14 years ago

#47

@ lucky, I think you should write down fan fiction on the forum title so ppl know exactly what its about and u myt get more comments.

@ neethu, thnx

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Asma Begum Ullah / Shahida (Shay)

@storytellerSSBN

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Posted: 14 years ago

#48

An alternative to something what I wrote before

Daksh gives her the broken globe.

D; Tumhe pata hain, mein ne kitni mushkil se yeh love globe tumhare liye layata. yeh dukan mein akhri globe ta aur kisi aur aadmi ne use karidliya ta. mene bohot mannat ki usse mujhe globe de ne ke liye, mein meri gari dene wala ta uske ek bar kehnepar, par usne yeh dekh kar pir gari lenese mana karliya aur globe aise hi dedi. usko dikhaye diya ki mein tumhare liye yeh globe kitna lana chahtata/tumhe kitna pyar karta hoon.

N: sach

D: Uske baad kya hua to suno, uske baad kuch gundone globe ko chura liya ta par mene un gundoka achi se pitayi ki aur globe wapas le li.

N: Is baar tum mujhe ullu nahi bana sakte

D: Nahi, me mazak nahi kar raha hoon, ye ek dam sach hain,

N: Haa, Haa, Mere liye to tum itna hi to kar sak te ho.

D: Tum kya keh rahi ho, mene tumhare liye itna apni jaan khatre me daala, aur tum kehre hi ho, yeh itni si baat ti, meri

(Naina puts her hands over Daksh's mouth and they look in to each other's eyes)

N: Yeh baat apni muh se bhi mat nikal ne. Agar tumhe kuch hua, to mujhe pata nahi mein kaise jiyungi. mein tumhe kuch hone hi nahi doongi.

and Naina hugs Daksh and Daksh hugs her back

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lucky.m

@lucky.m

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Posted: 14 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: storytellerSSBN
@ lucky, I think you should write down fan fiction on the forum title so ppl know exactly what its about and u myt get more comments.
@ neethu, thnx

@ssbn story teller

Thanks for the idea yaar. I have modified the forum title😛.Hope we will get more stories and FF from all forum members

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lucky.m

@lucky.m

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Posted: 14 years ago

#50

One more scene

phone conversation between dakshna

Daksh and naina are busy in respective offices.Daksh calls naina

Naina; Hello

Daksh; Hello,naina, mein

Naina(smiles), mein kaun?

Daksh; tumhara pati

Naina; pati? he he..lagat hain aapko kuch galat fhemi huyi hai, meri abhi tak shaadi nahi huyi

Daksh; woh bhi ho jayega aur bahut jaldi mrs daksh patwardhan ban javogi..thoda intezaar karo

Naina,; mein tho ussi pal ka intezaar mein apna jeevan bitha rahi hoon

Daksh; bas bas, inti filmi honi ki koi zaroorat nahi..kya kare ho?

Naina; office mein koi kya karega? kaam kar raha hoon.kyu tum kuch aur kar rahe ho kya?

Daksh; haan,tum mujhe kaam ya kuch aur karne do tab na.Itna disturb kar rahi ho..itna ki kya batavu mera haal kya hain

Naina; acha, lagta hein hamari bahut yaad aa rahi he

Daksh; nahi, bilkul nahi

Naina;(angry) kya?? tho phone kyu kiya?

Daksh;Jaan, yaad unhe kiya jaata hain, jinhe bhool jate hain aur tum tho hamesha meri saath ho,

Naina; aur wah, kaunsi film ka line hai. achi hai

Daksh; Film ki nahi meri hai, mere khud ka, bas naina, bahut mazaq hogya, ab meri baat dyan se suno..aaj shyam ko hum bahar chalte hain, tho apna kaam jaldi khatam karo

Naina; lekin kaha?

Daksh; surprise hain aur tum mana nahi karsakti, mein tumhe ghar se pick up karta hoon

Naina; gahr se, lekin kya kahenge gahr walo se

Daksh; woh sab tum mujhpe choddho..acha ab mam ki izzazat ho tho kaam karne ki koshsis karu

Naina;smiles; miss u daksh

Daksh; miss u too and love u..bye

Naina; bye

Baatein khatam hone ke baad, dono ek cute se smile dete hai, hamare liye

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