sting of rejection or pain of betrayal?

Originally posted by: fast trak

now all hes doing is just compare A and G. G has left all her modern thoughts in the city and is ready to sit and knit sweaters and cook in the kitchen if that can make the family accept her. This isnt what J wanted. That role already A has played to perfection. Hence he said that u r not the G i fell in love with.

-- actually this is a normal scenario in love marraiges.. wer in r'ship is based on f'ship and liking of particular individual traits.. which the husband cant find after mrg.. coz girl has to adjst to his family views as well.. in short accomodate.. wer has the boyfriend wud now turn in to a husband.. expecting wife to be a replica of his mother.. generally thy held thr mother as a benchmark.. and wives strive to reach thr.. 😆.. here its not sasuma its ex for G.. and thngs r really hard for her.. the benchmark set by A is very very high.. 😆.. and G's short tempered nature is not helping her either..

obviously their relationship cannot survive if they r a few more days in this haveli.

-- the prudent thng to do is.. to tell J.. do hell with ur family.. i wanna live separate.. u wer so nice, supportive and loving in Mumbai.. its not only me.. u too have chnged.. the J i loved is lost in this big haveli..😆.. and ur ex...🤣

And its not just J that respects A the whole household totally adores her. This all is a big big trouble for G who is waiting to make place in their hearts. their hearts r already overfull with A.

-- Its ridiculous even to think of tht.. 😆.. A virtually grew up in this household.. how can one take her place.. and her plight has made every body act more protective and affectionate towards her... how can J even think of replacing her.. and tht too in a such a conservative family.. and in such a short span..😆.. jst as A still being legal wife doesnt matter in J-G's relation.. G's claim of legal bahu doesnt matter in A-Singh relations.. interesting!

Originally posted by: fast trak

good post.

J got attracted mainly to the modern thinking G. Other than that he never had any problems with A. He knows A has blended very well with his family esp DS which is not a joke.

now all hes doing is just compare A and G. G has left all her modern thoughts in the city and is ready to sit and knit sweaters and cook in the kitchen if that can make the family accept her. This isnt what J wanted. That role already A has played to perfection. Hence he said that u r not the G i fell in love with.

obviously their relationship cannot survive if they r a few more days in this haveli.

And its not just J that respects A the whole household totally adores her. This all is a big big trouble for G who is waiting to make place in their hearts. their hearts r already overfull with A.

Originally posted by: achiever

Actually agree with Anandi.. no pnt in accepting a r'ship wher in the partner himself chose another person over herself.. really.. the tears in her eyes and her accusing stare at J made me think.. wats more painful.. the sting of rejection of herself for another women.. or the pain of betrayal when one is in a committed rship... of not coming out truthful in a r'ship...

clearly.. its more damaging for one's self-respect and confidence.. rather thn the pain of being betrayed...

actually in such situations.. wife finds fault with herself for not being able to meet the demands of husband and more so wen she gets rejected after genuinely trying hard.. and wen he still goes and choses someone else over her, its really hard to swallow the rejection.. it can actually take you down the spiral road of depression and feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.. if you dont gather yourself in time...

tht way A shud b jealous of G but yahaan pe to sab ulta pulta hai.. 😆 A has carried herself really well.. no dbt it wudnt have happened without support of J's family.. bt still i am unable to read her mind clearly.. wat she thinks of J.. and his behaviour.. i guess thrs no one inthe house with whom she can share her innermost feelings.. i think Phooli will play a major role in bringing out wats inside her.. may b she may convince her to divorce J.. and first confront her own feelings for J.. and whether he is worthy of her or not😳

here.. J thot he didnt deserve A and deserved G.. bt it luks like he has more respect for A thn G.. and I think he wud even trust A more thn G..***shaking head*** suddenly, A has rose to an inch higher thn G .. Actually its quite interesting in a PPW scenario (pati patni aur woh).. wer in hubby respects his ex-more thn current wife.. thn the situation turns the other way around for the wife.. like G.. now she becomes more insecure and jealous..😆.. actually somebody wrote in this forum.. one shud learn from A how she handled herself as a rejected BV.. actually its rite.. she;s giving out step by step instructions on how to take ur revenge from ex in a way.. by making life hell for current wife you wud make life hell for ex-husband as well..😈...😆...coz its not tht the husband wont b suffering.. imagine.. every day he walks into a home wanting to relax and sooth in a peaceful quiet environment...after a day of tiring job and wat he gets instead is a complaining, crying, and hysterical wife...😆 ... but he has to put up with her as it was his choice afterall.. 😆... I dont think G's hysterical trait is situational.. its gonna pop up every now and thn.. she is jst so impatient, impulsive, and volatile.. its in her nature..

interestingly.. here J is demanding of G too.. 🤔.. he wants her to be always a certain kinda person tht he liked and fell in love with.. wer as G has never even asked him abt wat she wants from him.. and how he failed her.. 🤔.. MORE thn she did.. if she failed as a beendni of house.. tht he didnt pass either as husband of hers.. I think CVs need to raise this issue as well.. its the most sensitive issue in a H-W r'ship.. in our traditional system, husbands are always more demanding and wives r usually accomodating... it wud b lot for interesting to c G-J's rship confrontations arising from their own past mistakes, and J-G's f'ship kinda r'ship not fitting in with the J's idea of traditional H-W r'ship.. tht he was in with A..

The case is no more a child marriage case as both J&A had crossed the mandatory age limits prescribed by the Law.

As such this is a normal divorce case.In any divorce case,normally it is the woman that suffers alot due to the social set up which must be changed.

That is why it is very imperative that a girl child must study & stand on her own.The broken marriage is a wound & nightmare if and only if she can not stand on her own,but not the other wise!

As Anandi's marriage was performed by Bhairon,he is reponsible & he had accepted the responsibility also!(As J is non-earning )

Seems A's parents are happily dozing off in another world !!Now A needs a support 4m every one including phoolie & her teacher!

It'd ve been fine if J postpones his marriage until A settles somewhere with some one!( Just like a sister's marriage is performed before the brother's marriage)But now every thing's over & irreparable!Atleast now,JG should repent & respect her!

Above all,A has to pull herself & concentrate on her future ri8 now!