Chapter 53
When he gestured to a cab to come their way, she stopped him and proposed to walk instead. It wasn't a short walk and the weather was cold, but they would have to walk along the bank of Charles River to get home, which was enough incentive for her to endure the chill of the night. Halfway through their walk they came to the Charles River and she moved closer to the parapet. It was high enough for her to rest her elbows on there and he followed suit. They stood there for a several minutes in silence, looking into the far distance.
"Another one of the relationships becomes tainted for me today...that of a doting father and his daughter...one of the few I cherished the most" her tone came out low and soft.
"He doesn't deserve to be called a father. We know what kind of a man he is..." he said gritting his teeth. She looked at him in surprise then and for the first time she saw him express repugnance. He was never the kind to react to situations...he never got emotional about such things. Instead, he took charge of the situation to remedy it, whenever possible. But something made him lose control as he said scornfully "Why didn't you just slap him, or threaten him...or even show your disapproval? Staying quiet can give the wrong impression."
She looked back towards the running water and sighed..."I know. But speaking up doesn't always bring about the result you want.." This time it was his turn to look at her in surprise...
"I've been eve teased many times...and every time I tried to do something about it, it only got worse. It was either a fight between my cousin or friend and the guy, or calling the attention of many more, or taking it to the next level where they would..." she struggled to continue "...touch me where they should not. " He closed his eyes and fisted his hand in his pocket so she wouldn't see.
"These events didn't leave my mind...I started anticipating every man's move. I found it best to ignore and run away from the scene...and I made sure no body came to know about it...not even my sister. And as time passed, these things somehow made me lose my ability to speak...or scream...or act...or even think. As much as I would like to self-defend myself, these incidents always froze me."
"Does a man have only one interest in a woman? It's like relationships don't exist when a girl is concerned, only one thing comes to mind - be it a stranger, a brother or now even a father. Do we serve only one purpose for the men? Is that all you guys need in life?" she didn't mean for it to came out the way it did. She had been lost deep in thought when she said it absently.
"Not all guys are like that" he said looking away. It hurt him to know she had such low opinion of men..but given what she had shared, he didn't blame her. He almost protested on her general comment involving all men but thought better to remain quiet.
Her mouth fell open when she heard him say that...because it was then she realized what she had shared with him. It was a mere slip of tongue when her thoughts ran in that direction...she had not intended for him to know what he now knew. She immediately corrected herself "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I know not all men are like that...it's just that it had left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I cannot help but distance myself from them."
"Ever since those incidents back home, I have always been uncomfortable with a man's touch...be it anyone...except papa of course. When I came here, I breathed a sigh of relief. In that respect, this country is better than India...and I was thankful for that. I was beginning to open up and was beginning to feel free again. It felt like I have been set free from the cage I had built around myself. The people that I'm surrounded by over here are so nice...and thoughtful. In a way they have helped me come out of my cocoon and I'm truly grateful to them. But still, I have a long way to go. I don't think I am that receptive yet to anyone...except you" she said the last bit so softly, it came out as a whisper and she hoped it would get lost somewhere in the gust of wind.
"Except two? And who're they?" he asked quietly, hoping he doesn't fall under the category of those whose touch makes her uncomfortable. She was surprised he had heard it...even more so that he had heard it wrongly. Rather than answering him, she said "I'm cold, can we get going?"
They were quiet throughout their way back to the apartment. As they got to her apartment building, she stood at the bottom of the steps, staring at the door, clutching his arm as tightly as she could. The thought of Simran's father being in the room next to hers frightened her...she formed images of what could happen which made her even more nervous.
He placed his hand on hers and said "Relax...easy...easy. I'm not leaving you here. We are here only to pick up your stuff. Get what you want, you are not spending the night here."
She sighed in relief as she climbed the steps to get what she needed for the night. When she came down, he was on the phone with someone and he looked up as she came out...he nodded looking at her and disconnected the phone then. She didn't know why she was sure he would take her to his place...even after all that she had shared with him. She asked him where they were headed with a little bit of nervousness anticipating his reply but he surprised her once again when he said "To Naina's..."
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