Hello friends,
Am back with yet another OS. I'm having mixed feelings about this one. I want yer comments on it. Please do read, enjoy and leave yer comments.😃
~Yeh Dooriyaan~
Dil hain toh phir dard hoga
Dard hain toh dil bhi hoga
Mausam ghuzarte hi rehte...
The warm sunlight streamed into the room and washed over Gulaal's face kissing her awake.
It was a Monday, she recalled.
She stood up with her eyes fixed on the dressing bureau. As expected there sat the spiral of bangles. It was soothing green colored ones this time.
Four months had passed by since Kesar had told her about his feelings. She chose to avoid him and that haunted look of unrequited love in his eyes. It unnerved her.
Kesar had evolved into a different person altogether in these 4 months. The temperamental Kesar with that accusation-filled look had disappeared. Out of that cocoon had emerged a responsible person with a disarmingly sensitive side to him. She could feel the pent up passion rippling beneath his cool and sensible demeanor. But she was not going to unleash that side of him.
It would be dangerous'.Dangerous most of all to HER.
Kesar was a boon to the family business. He had a natural acumen when it came to accounting and logistics. Profit had been flowing in from the time he had joined into the business, agreeing to shoulder the responsibility, which Vasanth had once shouldered.
With Gulaal he had been carefully distant. She saw him taking on all the duties of a husband. Moreover, she knew that her rejection had not shattered him. If anything it had only made him more determined to prove that he was worthy of her.
Even Sunday he went to town and every Monday morn a spiral of beautiful bangles awaited her. However, she never put them on.
She had allowed Kesar to step into Vasanth's mojri but not into her life or her heart...
She wished on many stars, prayed fervently that Kesar saw sense and fell in love with a girl of his age. She would never be able to give the love to Kesar which he so deserved. All her love had been spent off with Vasanth.
She picked up the bangles and put them away. She took a deep breath and began going about her day.
Kesar stood silently outside the room. He saw her gently lift the bangles and put them away. One silent tear escaped his eyes and danced down to his jaw line.
*********************************************************************************************************
"Dear Vasanth,
Today again, Kesar bought me bangles. They were lovely. I wanted to wear them. I wanted to hear the sound of them clinking against each other. Vasanth, every day is getting more and more difficult for me. I see Kesar trying to shower me with care'..I want to reach out and grab it all but I stay away. I feel like a parched soul who sees the oasis but cannot afford to drink that water. Am alone Vasanth. I need you. I want relive the feeling of being loved. Miss you a lot."
Gulaal shut her diary. It was ironical that the diary Kesar had gifted her had become her communication link to Vasanth.
"Gulaal, Mota Bha tujhe bula rahe hain" Talli appeared at the doorway.
Talli had been staying with Sudha at her old house away from the family. She dropped in at times to visit Mota Bha and Paan Bha.
Gulaal nodded her head and turned to lock the diary away. There was always an icy shield between Talli and her nowadays. Talli and Sudha almost severed ties with the whole family. Only upon Mota Bha's insistence the still attended all the family functions. Gulaal could never look at Talli in the eye. It took an effort.
Talli had left by the time she put the diary away.
She had failed Vasanth. Their family had broken. Sudha Bhabhi refused to even look at her face. Talli behaved very distant. Raman Bha had disappeared off. Jamna Kaki was unwell. Dushyant ji was very busy. Kesar was...
Kesar was standing outside the door when she turned around.
"Gulaal mujhe tujhse kuch baat karni hain"
"Mota Bha mujhe bula rahe hain. Baad mein" She hurried past him.
Kesar shrunk to a side when she crossed him. His face dripped with hurt. Gulaal's behavior had not melted an inch after his confession to her. He had been trying his level best to cope with his feelings and work to make himself worthy of her.
But everything he did feel flat on Gulaal. She always cringed away from his presence. She never stood alone with him in a room. It pained him. Being treated like a criminal only cause he had admitted to her that he loved her.
********************************************************************************************************
Mota Bha was lying down in deep thought when Gulaal entered the room. She stood near his feet and softly addressed him, drawing attention to her.
"Gulaal, Teri Kesar se baat hui?" he questioned gently.
"Nahi Mota Bha. Kya baat hain?" Her worry was accelerating with each second.
"Kesar yeh deeyarvattu se tujhe azaad karma chahta hain'."
The look on Mota Bha's face was unreadable. Gulaal felt her world come to a stand still. Time coagulated.
Kesar wanted to free her of the Deeyarvattu!!!
She should have been ecstatic but she felt hollow. It disturbed her. What made him take this decision all of a sudden?
"Usne yeh aapse khud bola?" she stammered.
Mota Bha gave a weak nod.
"Gulaal, Ab tu khush hain na?" Mota Bha gently asked.
Gulaal was rooted to the spot. Her mind was racing with unanswered questions. What had made him change his mind? Why hadn't he told her before approaching Mota Bha. Had he fallen in love with a younger, prettier girl?
The last question gnawed at her heart and she shook it off.
"Haan Mota Bha...Main bahut khush hoon. Woh kissi aur se shaadi karna chahta hain. Yeh toh bahut acchi baat hain."
She noticed that she didn't sound happy herself. Her voice was abruptly breaking.
"Nahi Gulaal. Who kissi aur se kabhi shaadi nahi karega'." Mota Bha looked knowingly into her eyes.
Gulaal swallowed the lump that had clogged her throat.
Mota Bha let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes. "Yeh toh tujhe bhi pata hain aur mujhe bhi" he murmured and forced himself to sleep.
Gulaal stumbled out of the room.
Clearly, Mota Bha had also noticed Kesar's feelings. And he was convinced of its genuineness. If Kesar wasn't in love with anyone else, why did he want to do away with the Deeyarvattu now?
Gulaal knocked on his door.
There was no answer.
She gently pushed it open and an empty room greeted her. Where could he possibly be?
*******************************************************************************************************
Kesar sat near the lake throwing pebbles aimlessly in the still waters. However hard the pebble tried to float ultimately it would sink to the depths. The same was with him and Gulaal.
The familiar jingle of anklets alerted him. He swung around to see Gulaal walking towards him.
"Tu deeyarvattu todna chahta hain?" she asked.
Kesar searched her face. Wasn't she supposed to be euphoric?
"Haan. Tu khush nahi hain." he stated.
"Main toh tabhi bhi khush nahi thi. Tab tune yeh nahi bola tha. Achanak se kyun?"
"Kuch nahi. Tu itna soch mat Gulaal. Ab jaa tu. Khush ho," Kesar evaded the piercing look
Gulaal was giving and played with the pebbles.
"Kesar main tujhse kuch pooch rahi hoon" she grabbed his hand and stilled him.
Kesar looked up at her. Her fingers were creating havoc with his feelings. A mere touch and the tale of hurt he had been locking away all these days came pouring out.
He pushed her hand away and stood up.
"Kyun batau main tujhe?" he angrily took a step back.
His tears threatened to spill forth.
"Itne din tak'.na tu mujhse dhang se baat ki na mere taraf dekthi bhi. Main toh jaise uss ghar ka koi deewar hoon. Dekhna toh door ki baat hain tu toh mere aas paas bhi nahi rehna chahti thi. Agar main tujhe kahin dikh jau tu doosre taraf chali jaati hain. Agar tujhe koi baat bolni hain tu apne khud se bolti hain aur mujhe samajhna chahiye ke tu mere se baat kar rahi hain"
Gulaal stood transfixed. Kesar's outburst froze her.
"Gulaal main bhi ek insaan hoon'Mujhe bhi dard hota hain," his voice was strung with agony.
Gulaal tried to reach out to him but he slapped her hand away.
"Nahi Gulaal... Main kabhi tujhe dukhi nahi dekhna chahta tha. Agar teri khushi mujhse door rehne mein hain toh yahi sahi. Main iss deeyarvattu ko todta hoon'.Tu jahaan chahe reh sakti hain. Jiske saath chahe reh sakti hain."
Gulaal was shaken by his last sentence.
"Tu kehta hain ki tu mujhse pyaar karta hain...phir bhi tu mujhe itna hi samajh paya hain?"
Gulaal's icy words made Kesar look up. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears.
"Main tujhse door bhagti hoon...Haan! Magar bhagawan janta hain ki kyun tujhse door bhagti hoon. Yeh GALAT HAIN...Main Vasanth ke alawa kissi aur ke baare mein kaise soch sakti hoon? Main kaise 'TERE' baare mein soch sakti hoon..." she whispered as tears splashed across her face.
Kesar was thunderstruck.
Gulaal was quivering like a leaf. "Galat hain...Vasanth ke alawa...Galat hain...Tere baare mein...Main thak chuki hoon" she sobbed.
Kesar strode forwards and took her into his arms. She was trembling like a leaf. Her tears seeped through his shirt and burned his heart. She was suffering from a bout of scorching guilt.
"Gulaal," Kesar tenderly tilted her chin.
She looked into his eyes.
"Tu kabhi Vasanth Bha ke pyaar ko samjh hi nahi payi. Woh tujhe khush dekhna chahte the. Woh kabhi nahi chahte the ki tu ghut ghut ke mare. Woh chahte the ki tu jiye...aur khush hoke jiye...apne liye. Unhone ne kabhi nahi bola ki agar khushi tere dar pe dastak de rahi hain tu usse andekha kar de...Gulaal tu toh kabhi unhe samajh hi nahi payi," Kesar pulled away.
Gulaal felt cold all of a sudden. The withdrawal of Kesar's warmth was so acute that she felt dizzy.
Her eyes closed.
She could see Vasanth standing there, looking at her lovingly, and urging her to go on. She took a step towards Vasanth but he disappeared and in his stead stood Kesar with a smile on his lips. She felt Vasanth appearing by her side, taking her to Kesar, and leaving her at his side.
She jerked her eyes open.
Kesar stood there. The silence humming between them.
This moment could lead her to either a life of happiness and laughter with Kesar or it could doom her to a life bereft Kesar.
The second one seemed unthinkable. She walked to him and slowly and unsurely rested her head against him. His hand came around her promising her of inexplicable love.
She felt liberated.
********************************************************************************************************The sunlight stroked her gently and she awoke. It was a new day, a new morn. She got ready and stood before the mirror.
The green bangles rested on her delicate wrists.
Life was beautiful.
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