Panjaab Airways :IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT
Guddu maarning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. Parajee aur
Behnjee. Sat SriAkal.
On behalf of Kaptaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is
your Flight
Supervisor Parminder Singh "Pummy" welcoming to you on the
Panjaab Airways flight no. 9211 (Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.
We apaalogize for the two-day delay in taking off,
because the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the
sun does not shine in the night.
Landing in Ludhiana is not definite, but with good
luck we can be landing directly in your village.
Panjaab Airways has excellent record for safety.
In fact our safety standards are so high that even the fully trained
terrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.
I am pleased to announce that starting this year
over 90% of our passengers have reached to their destination. For
the rest 10%, the Panjaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling
the next-of-kin.
Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be happy to brief you on
our out-of-court settlement policies.
If engines are too noisy, on passengers request,
we can turn them off for cumfaart, but your flight will become late and you
may become the late also.
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you to
contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin preyer, Holy
Books will be quickly distributed.
We regret that today's in-flight phillum will not
be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.
But we will be flying right next to Air India,where their phillum can be
seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been
opened for your viewing convenience. For passengers on left
side, we have put binoculars under the seat.
If Air India flight is again cancelled, then for
your in-flight entertainment, our hostesses Bubbly Kaur & Sweety
Kaur will do the Bhangra with flight stewards Jassi and Maninder. Oye, Balle Balle!!
Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka
Masala,
Tandoori Fish, Dal makhani, unlimited p'ranthaas and Lassi.
There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles.
Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights.
Pliss do not ask air hostess to sit next to you.
As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on aal P'njaab
Airways flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is
only the early warning system on the engines.
pliss do read the instructions on the Safety Card in seat pocket
in your front side. It is not a hand fan. The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in
your backside.
Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on
any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.
Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off &
landing. Also do not use force. Broken seats will not be replaced
and you will be tied to the floor during take off
And landing.pliss be seated first and then fasten your
seatbelts.
Do not call for steward or airhostess for a glass of water when
plane is taking off.
We are about to take-off. We wish you a plasent flight.
For air sikness problems we have echo-friendly jute bags in the sit pockets.
Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways.
Balle balle!
CID
