Part 86: Four States... Update 2
The loud piercing neigh was enough to awake anyone in deep slumber. Then, if sleep simply evaded him like he was the plague himself, it was only a matter of seconds before he got out of the rocking chair and swung open his bedroom door to the hallway that led to the lookout. His feet broke into an instinctive run towards the front grill, from where the living room and foyer was in view. His forehead furrowed with deep worry when it was unlike Cricket to show up inside the house. Ever. Their horse, like many, was trained to let itself out of the quick release knot; in case of the forest fires that often plagued Southern California.
Cricket being the ungulate love of the family had the knack to take its prowess to untie itself to another level and had played trickster many a time. Of course his foibles were almost always overlooked with occasional rationing of his carrots being the only method of penalizing that his master having sought to. Yet, it was still a new scene at the entryway, to catch a view of his muddy hoof tracks that had littered the shiny white marble, sharply pronouncing his unsuitable presence inside the house. Something was of the matter, he concluded as he ran down the stairs in his tracks and a white singlet.
"Cricket...out" he screamed at the animal that continued shuffling to and fro about his front hoofs, it's whinny of a cry dropping down a note; a sudden calm reflecting unannounced in its large brown eyes, at its master's showing up. He neared the spooked animal and began smoothing his coat by his neck, when the creaking hinges of an upstairs room had him lift his view to the top of the staircase. Maan showed up in a hurry buttoning up his shirt, his cuffs loose and the upper part of his shirt barely concealing his chest. Rishabh's brother-in-law was far from alarm for the minute, but his own heart's pounding against his chest was still to settle. However seeing the troubled animal did not sit well, with Maan, as he hurried towards the door, where Rishabh was still trying to calm a frayed Cricket.
"Cricket...let's go checkup the barn" he muttered to the animal while he turned to Maan in acknowledgement to accompany him.
As Maan saw Rishabh half amble and half sprint, he couldn't help mirror the panic that coursed the other's body. The night rains had rummaged the ground leaving behind a fresh mire that was crusting around their bare feet. Neither of the brawny men cared about the slush in which they raced to check for fire hazards.
At first there was no hint of crackling of flames or grey whorls of smoke hinting arson in the age old barn as the two men came to a light stop, struggling for breath. Cricket had galloped aside with no effort at all and did not hesitate entering the stables once again, launching Rishabh into a full blown confusion. He ran along the cleared pathway where the long stacks of hay and bags of carrots lay at the back and right about the place he suspected the likelihood of fire. And as he scattered in all directions, like that of a whirl wind, not caring to even look for Maan, the seed of doubt whirred bigger inside of him. For no reason he was starting to feel an invisible vine of panic, circle around his feet and climb its way along the length of his body. Just as almost everything was being clocked to a precision, when his throat went dry from a rising tightness, he sighted the cause that had alerted Cricket straight home.
She had collapsed on the floor and was shivering as if she was being rocked by a storm. His pallor bleached to a deathly white the same moment and a distant memory froze him in his tracks. He no longer saw her as his sick wife, but the woman he had abandoned under the grim circumstances at the hospital. He was overwrought from the sight of her, the mental picture that scavenged his mind was that of a homeless person, left to be fended on her own, which he felt had been true in the state he had abandoned her. The overpowering guilt failed to deliver a cogent argument and have him running on his toes, to get her to the warmth and comforts of a bed. In a way, to attempt, save face as her husband; an image, by his standards, was beyond salvageable now.
Besides the fact, that he registered Maan approaching him from the other side of the barn, he was still frozen as ice. Seeing his sister coiled on the hay, shuddering from the nipping temperature and her ghastly appearance had Maan go wide eyed, fraught with alarm and run to her directly. As he strode past Rishabh, rooted to his spot, his disarrayed mind grew to add another layer of confusion. It was the last of what he had expected of Rishabh that instant. Bearing a part disapproving look and another part concern, he scooped Naini in his arms and made a mad dash to the inside of the house. As if she recognized the hold of her own blood, that she had been devoid of for the last nine years, she cuddled in the assuring arms of her brother. Without his knowledge, like it was only natural to follow the next second, his eyes moistened at her unconscious gesture, while she scooted closer and felt the last reigns of consciousness leave her, right after she felt safe in the net of sibling love.
Somehow his feet had moved to the retreating form of Maan carrying his sister and he had followed them. Once within the sanctum of their home, Maan had taken her to Rishabh's bedroom, without another word with him and not caring for the mud tracks he was streaking the floor with. Unsettled he was as he laid her on the bed and turned to face Rishabh who stood by the door and fidgeted about the twist of the knob, relinquishing the agony that was coursing his body. "You get to her clothes Rishabh..." Maan said and quickly cut him off just when Rishabh looked to come across in protest.
"No...Geet is not feeling well, she is still sleeping" He plainly lied through his teeth knowing what Rishabh would have hinted at. On his way to the house from the barn, he had felt a strong resolve come over him, to have some sense driven into Rishabh. It was getting unacceptable with his inactions, which per se, has persisted for a little over three months.
With that, he exited the room and closed the door on his way out. It seemed like 10 minutes before Rishabh hurried out too, and right after Maan had cleaned up from the hallway bathroom. Although it didn't appear that Rishabh couldn't wait to get out from the same room as her, he did look distraught. Only the agitation seemed to be stemming from the good kind of angst and sure was far from disgust. It was more so easier now for Maan to believe that he was slowly working towards getting back to his form; a man who doted on his wife, every living moment. As much as Maan had despised him for eloping with his sister, he was beginning to believe, Rishabh was indeed the right man for her, with the exception of the lapse in judgment from few months ago. The remnants of what could be saved, Maan thought, was still very much in their own hands, for he still saw the sparkle in their eyes at the mention of the one's name to the other. That the blood that coursed his body was no longer red and that it had turned into a black cesspool of pus from the heartache he was suffering from. If only his eyes could tell her the story, Maan mused. But he could not be entirely sure Naini had not seen it for herself; the 'stubborn ass' was his sister after all, who for starters knew well to pretend being agnostic above all.
Rishabh faced Maan's back as he stood staying fixed upon a point in the living room, appearing to be present and absent in the moment at the same time.
"When I first had her in my arms, she was not mine to save" he spoke suddenly, drawing Rishabh's attention from the floor he was gazing at. Rishabh stood fixated like his brother-in-law; as if his feet were turning into lead and fusing with the ground he stood on. It wasn't shocking to hear Maan reveal a detail that intimate, for this talk was something he had expected any minute since Maan had arrived there. Almost to his surprise, Maan had kept it casual and had later retired to his wife's quarters leaving no room for such encounters. In other words, he had anticipated it much sooner than the time it was happening. Only now that it was actually happening, he was dreading the shame it was pulling worth the wait.
"There are times I doubt myself" Maan added after a pause " I have questions if I deserve it all, but then I can't help think... what if she at the same moment I'm doubting myself, is trusting me with her everything...and lets go hoping that I'm there to catch..." He turned around, but they didn't face each other and instead he traipsed tangent to Rishabh and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"There can be moments of weakness...but they can't last forever is what I have come to learn...They shouldn't have to wait or be punished for our insecurities" He said, gentlly tapping his shoulder once, his voice every bit confessing that Rishabh was no different from him as he walked away, without ever meeting his eyes.
Rishabh wasn't sure if it was his own guilt that had made him look away the entire time they were there outside the door. But the way Maan had put forth his thoughts, had conveyed the sentiment he shared with Rishabh. The nine years of proud silence had disappeared the faltering instant Maan felt Rishabh needed a sense of direction. Really it does take courage, he thought to himself, to face another man and accept one's own short comings. Had he only respected the man the moment before, now he was looking up to him. That minute he decided there was no way he was ready to lose this family...the one he was beginning to own up.
When Maan got back to their room, she appeared to be still in bed, the same as he had left her. At least that is how she came across. Although when he slipped under the covers, he found her, dressed well enough for a casual stroll. He leaned down on his elbows as he tugged her shoulders gently.
"When did you robe up?" he asked throwing a casual smile; his smile not quite reaching his eyes. Having rolled around to her side, she now turned to face him with the same hollow smile.
"Hmm...only since the time you started to play cupid" she said, raising her hand to pull him by his shirt collar.
"Well you were sleeping...thought I should finish up your part of the play..." He inched in closer and added "Nataunki".
She made a face at the word and arranged her features to portray a fake anger. Getting up on her elbows as well, she slowed a bit with glowering eyes, and threw the pillow at him from under her arm. He ducked lower and instantly moved over her, grabbing her wrists in response. She was starting to resist his pouting lips that had already pressed a kiss or two on her lips, but as she shoved him slightly, he turned to his last resort to weaken her defenses. He tickled her by her neck and to the sides of her waist, his fingers going back and forth the length of her torso, throwing her into fits of laughter. Noticing her cheeks burn pink from the hysteria she was going towards, he took his game a notch up higher. Her eyes turned liquid from the chuckles that ensued. And just like that her eyes brimmed with tears...streaking her cheeks, while she jerked up from the sobs...letting him know she had heard it all...
Thank you all so much for the comments...I have to say, some of you are overwhelming me with your choicest of words. I can only hope that you all like the way its all shaping up. I know there are long gaps between each update, but I urge you to understand the work schedule that I cope with. Keep visiting the thread and grace the same with your comments. I truly will not ask for more...
Forgot to mention...the good times do begin after this. 😊
Edited by 6thElement - 14 years ago
Celebrity Fan Clubs
12