Akshara's Column: Moving past sorrows with family'

However, Ananya's presence cheered me up and I enjoyed spending time with her. The little angel makes me forget my pain and makes me smile.

Naitik convinced me to visit my parental home the next day. It really touches me to see how much effort Naitik is putting into cheering me up and helping me recover from the tragedy. Every time, I feel sad he keeps reminding me that this is not the end and just an obstacle, and that we will have a bright future ahead. He encourages me to have faith in myself. I feel blessed to have a caring husband like him. He did not even attend the naming ceremony of his friend's son, as he felt that I would get upset but I convinced him to go. However, I later found out that Naitik too is equally affected by the loss of our baby and it is not just me who is feeling this pain. It hurts me to see Naitik suffering in silence, hiding his emotions and overlooking his pain, just to make me smile again.

Later, I decided to accompany Varsha to the hospital for Ananya's vaccination as this would give me the opportunity to spend more time with her. I was happy that Ananya did not cry while getting vaccinated as I kept her busy by talking to her constantly. This made me really happy and assured me that I will make a good mother in the future.

Also this week, everyone at home was very excited about celebrating Gangaur which is a festival celebrated in honour of lord Shiva and goddess Gauri. All of us had a good time singing, dancing and bonding with family and friends. Naitik and I also shared some romantic moments together which were truly memorable. As per the tradition, I prepared to fast for Naitik but Gayatri Ma forbade me from doing so. Naitik came to my rescue once again and convinced Ma to allow me to fast.

Rituraj's wife, Bindiya, and her mother arrived at our house during the celebrations. At first, everyone was happy to see them but when they realized she is pregnant, they were worried about how I would feel. I assured Naitik that I was fine and can look after Bindiya myself, but I have to confess that deep down in my heart, I did feel sad as her pregnancy and constant talk about babies and motherhood brought back memories of my pregnancy and my dreams for my child.

Although, I love spending time with Ananya, I have noticed that Varsha has begun to find faults with almost everything I do, even saying that I can't look after her properly. I understand that I may not be able to look after her as well as Varsha but her behavior is hurtful. I am sure Varsha is not doing it intentionally but I am confused if I should let Varsha know about my feelings. She has been my best friend for years and I don't want anything to ruin our relationship.

What do you think I should do? Do let me know at akshara@starplus.in and don't forget to watch me every Mon-Fri at 9:30 on STAR Plus.