||AR-OS|| The Sucker Punch!

CONTEST : IPL 2026 Prediction Game

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@khahani

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

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...N

@khahani

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

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Munchkin.

@Munchkin.

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

WOW! Okay, this is still incomplete right? I'm dying to read further! So gripping! The cop is the goon! And by the looks of it, the man is Armaan? Nice! I like! Damn interesting! Continue fast please!

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367945

Suspended

Posted: 14 years ago

So I found multiple grammatical mistakes in this OS and you say you won some sort of an award for it? Tsk tsk ;p
Also I had a lot of trouble identifying who was who in this OS. I'm a bit slow :\

Considering you're an AR fan, it's so odd to see how you're so fascinated with Armaan killing Riddhima. Although to be honest, I quite like Armaan in this avatar. Somehow I think his character on DMG could also have taken this arc at several points had the writes tried to inject some writing into their screenplay or lack thereof.

I know you think this work is crap or at least not up to the mark but I quite enjoyed it, and more so than your other work. The reason being that there was some sort of a dialogue between the two of them here whereas the other one seemed to me more of a psych lesson. Nevertheless in terms of the whole suspense appeal, I think one could guess that Armaan was the killer somewhere near the middle. Since it was an OS and given the title, I didn't think Armaan would just be a boring cop doing his duty. Also it became obvious that Riddhima would be next on the list when you wrote this: "she could not shake the fear that next time she might not be so lucky"...there were several other such hints where she thought of herself as the sixth victim.

While your earlier title doesn't seem that unique and this one certainly packs a punch (pun intended), I think the older one is more apt. Anyways, I agree with your award...I mean we all know he's gonna go after her but I'd like to see that encounter, regardless of the result. It seems that Riddhima has this subconscious fear that Armaan might be the killer and I'd like to see her reaction when she does finally realize that.

P.S. I loved this rare hilarious moment: "what was I, a flushing system?"

Edited by seert - 14 years ago

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GalwayGirl

@GalwayGirl

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

first of all, congrats for the story telling contest👏

this is umm different i must say! liked it all the way

the descriptions were very good and gripping;)

im hoping that u will continue this! would love to read more on the background of armaan and his intentions..

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ARCaskettFan

@ARCaskettFan

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

Wow! Awesum OS!

bt is dis al or is dere more to cum?

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Garima

@ScatteredCastle

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

Look, who's back again! :P am gonna be right back! :-D

*edit*

Great stuff there, hun! Being an 'AR-love' supporter, I don't know what intrigued me here...and got me to read it, but there was smg that made me read it! and man, am so not dying to read the continuations...which you should, by the way, write/post. If I had been an awesome reader who had read all the entries, I bet I would vote this one for the award you've won! :P

Naw, I really think it should be transformed into one short-story. (which shall run long, BTW.) *chuckles* Congrats for winning it, anyway! I'm more than sure you deserve it! :D

had a fun read there, Nahida! It was anything but brilliant. Do as in DO write more often, if its anybody who should, its undoubtedly you!

Thank you so much for letting me know of you posting it!

Much love,

Garima.

Edited by Angel-Pebby - 14 years ago

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repercussion

@repercussion

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

Wow...I saw ur username in my inbox and I knew I just had to read whatever is it that you had written...a one-shot by one of the most promising writers...

At first, when I read the first few lines, I had started visualing a psychiatrist's office and a shaken Riddhima recollecting a painful incident of her life and then came the blow...Scotland yard...that was when I got 10X gripped!

When she mentioned the similarity in the serial-killer's eyes and that of the sketch artist...that was when I realized she was sitting right in front of him. *melodramatic rhapsody + expressions here*

But the way you wrapped it up...WOW. I was expecting it to come out any moment...maybe a dagger in his glove compartment...or something or the other...but the concluding paragraph * Voila* left this chilling image of man livid with anger...a man I could almost imagine in my bathroom...standing against the mirror with that smirk on his face. He had found his next victim... *chilling effect...followed by a speechless moment*

I mean what can say about that...where can I even begin with my appreciation. Not that I haven't read thousands of thrillers and professional novelists throwing me off the hook...but it's not everyday that I see such talent on IF. I loved it! If there's enough words I could gather for this one-shot it's just plain simple...I loved it!

Now I can rewind and think of how he masked his intentions behind those perfunctory stares and smiles and how the rest was left to our imaginations...that was wonderful and I hope you come up with such writing more often. Honestly, I liked With venom In Our Hearts better...it was a work of marvel and left me with a sort of admiration for you. That was what pulled me to this story. but no matter what, I love your writing any day...better than a romantic interlude or two. just the gripping effect it has...Thanks a lot for the PM..couldn't have missed this OS for anything!

Have a great day! Cheers!

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DulceTentacion.

@DulceTentacion.

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

Edited. So you know how i'm Having a lazy day Today...Its 11:00 pm and i'm already yawning away...I think its due to the lack of sleep i have been getting from the past couple of days. Sheeesh. But Despite all that i thought i'll be nice and Give you your long Pending Comment. How Nice am i Eh?... Anyways enough of me lets talk more about you and this OS. Have i told How much I love Your Writing Smelly? Why Ofcourse I Have ! I think i have already mentioned it to you like a million times =) But Still I shall Say it again...I LOVE YOUR WRITING! The way you right interrogates me, makes me Think and excites me at the same time aswell lol and that is what i love about you. Your concepts..They are always Unique. I Loved how how started it off. It has that intresting flow which keeps the reader intrested. Seriously you are a genious. I loved the Interactions between AR, I was so engrossed into. I kind of already guessed that A was the killer, and then you started giving us some lovely Hints, which confirmed by thoughts. lol. All in all, This is a Brilliant Piece of work, I really enjoyed reading it ! You should really continue with this ;) Okies...I am going to hit the bed now. =)

Edited by ParaDiseMb - 14 years ago