FF: New York times with Maan and Geet Thread 2 - Page 4

heyy hansini just got this question

This update coming from Maan's POV made me more aware of his frustration and agony for his love for Geet. Since the past few updates, I've always said that my heart goes out to Maan more so than Geet and this was the culmination point where I'm completely into Maan now. "No matter how many times she dismissed me I bounced back, for I needed her more than she did. Anyone else would have been thrown out of my life in split seconds, but for her I was ready to endure anything I understood that she was going through a lot and needed attention, but then it became all about her. She had to get what she wanted too. Ziddi, bilkul mere tarah." This is just the beginning of your update and I'm also all sentimental on it!!  He's been the ever accomodating and understanding Maan throughout the story and now he's weakening because he can't handle it anymore. For me it's like he's giving his all and not getting anything back.

"If it was the breath of air that brought back her desire to live, for me it was the breath that wanted me to pursue her more, for I already knew what it was to breathe without her." Did you aim to make the readers cry for this dear? How beautifully expressed were mere few words on his life without her. Just reading it again is making my heart ache.

For Geet, I was feeling twinges of pity and irritation at her while reading the beginning part. I was wrong to feel this momentarily because then she's only reacting the way she knows. The underlying problem is: she doesn't know herself well and she hasn't been put "out" there to see and learn everything else. I still wasn't ready to accept that I was 24, once married and divorced, still waiting to discover myself again."

"I couldn't bear with the fact that he still felt that his reaction to the media and his anger was justified." She didn't give him a chance to justify his actions and she's reacting to it impulsively with the way she knows. But then she cares to make sure he has chai so he feels better.

I loved this line by Maan: "Assume karne se pehle sunliya bhi kar Geet." Wah mere sher ;-)

She keeps realizing that Maan is her savior and her refuge and then she ends up forgetting this altogether. I've always felt that changing yourself for the better is hard. But what's harder is maintaining that change and staying steady for life. It also so often happens that we realize that we should change our perspective on something, and then we forget about it only to be reminded of it again later. In case this doesnt make sense here's an example: we might appreciate someone's ability to take life as is and not criticize or speak ill of anyone. We want this change in ourselves as well and think that we will do it.  But then we forget our own learned lesson and continue on only to be realized later on when we see someone else who's similar on what we'd wanted to do.

She wants him to be there always as an anchor but doesn't want to close the circle he's started. Yes she doesn't know much better and has a hurtful past, but I think she could give in a little to her emotions and just feel. Her scar-filled past and current situations are asking her to become more practical (which is also right in its own way). "I didn't know how to handle such situations? I can only talk and convince if someone wanted to get convinced, but he was a man who has his own plan" When I was doing my undergrad in psych, I was taught that you can only help someone who wants to be helped. This follows very well for Geet and you got it just perfect! Very intuitive Hasini :-D

"I didn't know how long it was going to take to repair the burnt bridges. Yes the damage was already done" When I was reading Geet's POV whe he was leaving/left for Malaysia, one song fit the bill too well:

Jaane Iss Safar Mein, Aisa Kya Hua Hai

Mere Hain Kadam Aur, Tera Raasta Hai

Dard Judaai Ka, Iss Dil Mein Bhar Ke

Dhundenge Tujhko, Rahon Mein Phirse

Tere Bin Suna Suna Lage

Jag Mujhe Suna Suna Lage

Tujhko Dhundegi Ye Aankhen

Naa Jaa Zindagi Mein Aake

 

Her dance and imagination of them together was touching. Having him around as a figment of imagination was soo painful and falling signified how big the break was for her. How did you come up with that? It was wonderful!

"Main ek kadam aage aatha hoon tho thum do kadam peeche chali jaati ho...Main kya karoon...bolo na"  and "I sensed that I had delivered the ultimate rejection. Will he be able to recover? But I had not recovered myself. Will he understand with time? I had too many questions. I was still a dead person. His love brought some new buds in me, but I didn't know if I could bloom to his love." Very powerful words to describe emotions and meanings behind them. Geet needs time from Maan and Maan needs emotions from Geet (not choosing love exclusively cause there's more than that) and there is no doubt about this.  Wouldn't the world be such a different place if everyone was the same or could feel the same? We can't invoke feelings and emotions in someone. They're either there or not and you have no control over them.

They are:

Connected but still apart

Well wishers but obstructors as well

Want to come close but stay apart enough as well, but still have that feeling of unity between them.

Edited by pushpi - 13 years ago

hii hasini...

congrats for ur second thread plzzzzzzzz update soon

Part 49 The color of my wings…

<Meera's monologue>

She wanted to move from MK's place and get to my apartment in Delhi. I was there when MK proposed to her. I couldn't help myself from watching the duo from the hallway corner. I wish I could have driven some sense into her head. I didn't know for sure why she didn't accept his proposal but I strongly felt that there was no way she was going to have someone else love her more than MK. But wait, she could have said a NO, but she didn't. Am I reading too much? I have to do something to help them. Main kya karoon? I know she will not listen to me. I can't call MK. Yash is a no no.  Geet, tumhare Babaji kahan gaye? 

<Daadima's monologue>

Zaroor kuch hua hain? Nahi toh Maan aise bartaav nahin karte. I had to find out aur woh bhi jaldi. Maan ya Geet se pata karoon? Geet was a better option. 

<Geet's monologue>

Things had gone too far already. Our closeness was affecting me and I wanted him more. Who was I kidding? I couldn't just have him around all the time and not commit to him. Maan…

I called out his name more often. It felt good when I did that. I was deeply split inside at that moment, wanting to squeak YES to his question. When did this change come in me? Two weeks ago I wanted to run away from him and now I wanted to be tied to him forever. I looked at the ring I was still wearing.

"This one to me is the best among what is in the store" I remembered the moment he gave me at the store. I had hesitated to take it from his hand. I perhaps would have easily taken this off had I picked it from the store counter. Partly it was me that was not letting it go.  I was leaning at the pillar and could still see him kiss me in the middle of the atrium.

"Tum jaana chahti ho Geet, ki tum kya ho, Sirf meri geet, samji, sirf meri" I closed my eyes. His words were coming to my mind too often that day. It ached like I was lying on an ice block. I wanted to go numb and not feel anything. Every part where he had touched me burnt me like I was in hell itself. How was he taking today? 

This trip had changed somethings forever. My birthday with him…our closeness…this bracelet…I was carrying too much of him with me. I was sure they were going to follow me no matter where I went.

The first time we spoke at his cabin, he was in a light blue shirt. I smiled. He looked handsome in every way. I was still married to Dev and couldn't help admire him. It was pure attraction that day. I fought to keep myself from touching his slender fingers. I had grasped it for just a moment when I dropped the printouts. Yet again I found myself attracted to him physically than anything else. I had not known him personally. I didn't know if we had anything in common. I had not spent time with him to gauge his personality or for that matter didn't even know if he was married at that time and I was drawn to him. Main kitni ziddi thi vunhe shirt kareed ke dene ke liye. I waited it out. Dev moved out of my life and opportunities presented itself for me to be around him more. I was different around him and pursued him more. Even before he could initiate anything, I had held his hand at the gym sit-out. At Vegas I wanted to hug him badly given the pain I was going through, but I couldn't justify the want to myself and only leaned on him. Perhaps to a New Yorker, these were not weak moments, but it was instilled in me since childhood that it was pure evil to want to be with another man, when I was still married to one. Those moments made me question what I had for him. I had another bucket next to love and called it attraction.

Everyone perhaps struggled with identifying love when they experienced it and to me it was harder for I was under the illusion I loved my husband for the last five years and when I felt it for the first time I had it confused for attraction. The clarity came to me the night of my first dance class. It couldn't be attraction…for it hurt so much to even stay away from him in my thoughts.

That pristine moment, only made me run away from him more for I feared I would end up loving him alone and not have him return my affections. What if he would have done all those favors to anyone in my situation? He answered my question when he declared his feelings for me Christmas eve, but my mind posed another dimension to me.

Were we compatible at all? We had already fought so many times. I for one always wanted closure for my open wounds. Perhaps it was an irritating trait of mine, but it was too late to work on it. He was a closed shell and opened up only when he wanted to and I didn't blame him for that. We had not courted or spent time to know each other for all the time we only met to discuss how we were going to solve my problems or it would be to apologize to each other about another misunderstanding. I didn't know anything about him and we had moved one step ahead in our relationship. Here he was kissing me and I didn't know how he liked his eggs. Not that I wanted to know everything about him, before I could commit, but I felt we had already started taking each other for granted, before we could even be a couple.

I understood our closeness and that was bound to be at that level because he had stayed away from such human affections for a long time. I knew also I would have to give back much more than I would have to give to any other person without a past. He needed healing too. The fact that we were two imperfect people, with painful and broken pasts scared me and kept me one step away from giving away any clue that I too wanted to be in a relationship with him. 

"Shaadi ke baad pyaar ho jayega, sab kuch apne aap seek jayegi" Darji's words came back to me. I had too many failed relationships in my life and I didn't know who had caused it. Was it me or whoever the other person was? I couldn't blame anyone. What if I didn't know how to handle relationships? I couldn't bear to have another failed one. What if in one moment he would end up comparing me with Sameera and I do the same with him and compare him with Dev? I feared the very irrational act in the first place. Things would be so different had Maan been my first partner in life for I wouldn't have such inhibitions.  I wouldn't be treading on egg shells every step of the way, just to make sure that the past doesn't peek into our future. It was a tough balancing act and people without a past would never understand this either, I will never be able to explain this to Meera or Yash or anyone for that matter.

My first biggest ever crisis I had faced on my own after marriage was when I didn't submit my paper on time at school. I didn't know what it was not to have the essentials of life. I thought about them now, not then. The years of my character formation were gone and I had spent them all worrying what I would have to cook for him or how I would have to entertain Dev's friends or business partners or how I would have to prepare for a paper.

Rahi baath relationships ki, I had never been in a lover's tiff or neither ma aur papa had complex expectations from me for me to be good at reading people.

He was ziddi beyond words and an alpha male personality too. I would have to learn to balance out my actions and what if I lose my identity, whatever that I had, in the process to avoid tiffs and confrontations with him. All my resentment I had in my past relationships came back to my mind.

Why does saying a simple YES to him be so complex to figure out and difficult at the same time? A teardrop fell to the ground at the same spot he had kissed me for I was standing in the middle of the atrium.

I had to leave this place now for I wasn't sure what we were to each other any more. I knew he wanted to marry me, but I had not given him an answer. Does he feel that I had rejected him? But I had clearly asked for more time on Christmas eve. I didn't ask time for me to say YES to him, no not because I couldn't verbalize it. I needed the time to get more clarity around who I was to better handle our relationship.

My tears had gone dry. Asoon se zyaada dimaag ki zaroorat hai mujhe khud ko pehchaan ne ke liye. I was living my life the way he had dictated to me.

I was walking back to my room, when I heard a car come to a stop in front of the gate. I walked to the front door, hoping it was him. I was disappointed but I was happy to see her too. It was Daadiji.

Daadima:"Geet Puttar, kaise hain aap?"

Geet:"Hum teek hain Daadiji. Kaise hai aap?"

Daadima:"Meera kahan pe hai?"

Meera:"Good morning Daadiji. Kaise hain aap?"

Daadima:"Teek hoon beta."

We walked inside and seated ourselves in the couch. I had to tell her we were moving out. It was time.

Geet:"Daadima hum Meera ke apartment main move ho rahe hain aaj hi. Mujhe aapse pehle hi bata de na chaiye ta, lekin…"

She was shocked to hear that from me.

Daadiji:"Sab teek tho hain? Aap achanak aise kaise move ho sak the hain?"

Geet:'Ji nahin Daadiji, hum aapko takleef dena nahin chahte hain"

Daadiji:"Isme takleef kaise, hum to aapko mansion bulane ke liye aaye the"

Now she really had me surprised.

Geet:"Daadiji, kya Maan bhi yahi chahte hain?"

Daadiji:"Kyon, hum bhi toh faisla le sakte hain. Woh hamara bhi toh ghar hain. Waise bhi Maan aaj subha hi NY chala gaya hain, isiliye hum chahte te hain aap hame company de"

He already left, but he was supposed to leave only on Saturday. He left two days early. He must have been really upset. I didn't understand why were running away from each other constanly. It was either he or I, one after another actually, he was always putting physical distance and I only put the distance between us mentally.

I wondered how he was doing? Babaji, please unka khayal rakiye ga.

Geet:"Daadiji, please aap bhura mat maaniye, humara mansion mein rehna aur bhi kuch problems khada kar sakta hain…aur main…aap samaj rahe hain na?"

Daadiji:"Teek hain beta hum aapko force nahin karenge, lekin hume kabhi kabhi aake mil lijiye"

Geet:"Zaroor Daadiji.  Ab aap kya lenge Chai?"

Daadiji:"Haan, shakkar ke bina"

I went in to make tea.            

Daadima:"Hum toh yahan pe kuch aur hi sapne leke aaye the. Lekin lagta hain, Maan aur Geet ka shaadi kabhi…"

<Meera's monologue>

I had to cut her off. She was hoping for them to get married as well? I had found my perfect partner in crime, but I had to confirm what I heard first.

Meera:"Phir se boliye Daadiji, abhi abhi aap kya bol rahe the? Maan aur Geet ka shaadi?"

Daadima:"Yahi ek hamara iccha reha gaya hain, pata nahin in dono ke beech mein kya hua. Maan tho bahuth gussa main aaye the. Aura ab Geet bhi yahan se chale jaa rahe hain toh, zaroor kuch panga hua hoga"

She was on my side. Should I tell her? I was split. It was their personal matter, but what the hell?, both of them loved each other like crazy. I had to do something and I needed a powerfully ally.

Meera:"Actually Daadiji, mujhe pata hain ki in dono ke beech main kya hua tha"

She instantly held my hand and had a pleading look.

Daadima:"Meera please aap mujhe batana hi hoga. Kya hua?"

Meera:"Daadiji, Kal MK ne Geet se shaadi ke baare main baath kiye the, aur Geet ne…"

Daadima:"Na keha diya?"

Meera:"Nahin Daadiji, usne ne toh kuch bhi nahin kahi. Yahi toh problem hain. She didn't want to answer aur mujhe lag raha hain ki MK ne vuse na samaj beita hain"

Daadima:"Accha toh ye problem hain, toh ab toh problem bahuth asaan hain. Maan tho vaise bhi raazi hogaye hain, toh sirf Geet ko haan kehna hain. Arey yeh toh hamara bayen haath ka khel hain"

Meera:"Kya aap Geet ko samja sakenge?"

Daadima:"Haan abhi nahin. Abhi toh Maan gaye hain, thoda din rook kar, hum Geet se baat karenge. Geet jab Maan ko miss karengi, tabhi kaam asaan hoga"

My my, she had it all worked out in a matter of minutes. I had no worries now.

Daadima:"Lekin hame aapse ek madad chaiye. Aaapko thode din ke baad, NY chale jaana hoga. Tabhi woh Maan ko aur bhi miss karegi. Agar koi na koi paas hai toh, vutna asar nahin padega"

I was delighted for whatever she said made perfect sense.

Meera:"Bilkul Daadima jaise aap kahe"

Daadima:"Aur jab tak aap yahan pe reha rahain hain,  aap aapka koi boyfriend hain toh, vuske saath hi zyaada time spend kijie. Our work will be much easier that way"

Meera:"Definitely Daadiji"

I was all set. Geet's Babaji already had a guardian angel for her. 

<Geet's monologue>

We were now staying at Meer's apartment. It was much more easier here for me. I didn't have to face the empty atrium that made me relive those moments again and again, but I had other things that made me uncomfortable. Meer and Yash had become intimate and their conversations tortured me. Not that I and Maan had ever talked like that, but we had already lived through such closeness. His passion…

I diverted my mind on other things. I continued to look for a job elsewhere. I had broadened my options, for I didn't want to be stuck to SF alone. It was not a good idea to face him in office or at the apartment. It would be awkward. He didn't keep in touch me and a week had already passed since that day.

There was no news of my passport and visa either. 

Three weeks to that day.

I missed him terribly. He never went offline strangely as if he was waiting for me to ping him and I didn't know how, for I was still not ready to give him an answer. As days passed, the pull to contact him grew more. I even had a mail drafted to him, asking him to come back. It was just a one liner, but I was sure that was enough to have him here the next day. 

Maan,

Kaise ho aap? Main aapko bahuth miss kar rahi hoon. Aapko dek ne ka bahuth ji kar raha hain….Shayad aap yahan pe hote.

- Geet. 

It sat in my inbox, but I didn't have the guts to send it. I didn't want to lead him to anything and have his hopes crash again if I couldn't give him what he wanted.

Meera had to go back. She missed Yash and I didn't expect her to leave for I thought she was going to stay until my visa issue was solved.

I was alone in the apartment. I couldn't go out freely as I still feared that the media might spot me. Babaji, main kaisi musibath main phas gayi yahan pe? I couldn't go out nor could I stay indoors. I was getting desperate to have him or atleast see him as days passed by. Four weeks had already passed todate and still no news from him. I occassionally got official emails from him, but it was professional in every way. That didn't tell me about his state of mind. I would find out from Meera about him, but apparently he avoided her too. 

<Maan's monologue>

So is that all? Mere baare main vuse khayal hain bhi nahin? I was mad. Mad at myself too for not giving her the time to process our relationship, but I was not the kind who could handle rejection either. How am I going to face her after she is here? The very thought did not sit with me well. It was going to be awkward. I had proposed marriage to her and she had clearly not accepted it.

There were times, I was ready to let go off everything and just talk to her. I would dial her number, but would disconnect, before the call could complete. What had I become? I didn't act my age and was smitten by her. She had changed me for good. Now that Meera was back, I had no way to keep a tab on her. I knew that her visa issue was still not resolved for the inspector kept giving me regular updates. How was she otherwise?

The night she slept in my arms…Little did I know that things were going to take a turn for the worse. Did I open up to her only to face rejection from her? From the one who wanted me to feel her hot chocolate?

"You know that tingling feeling that you have in your stomach when are having hot chocolate on a cold winter evening…"

Geet….why did you even come into my life? I couldn't take it anymore. I went out for a drive. 

Four and half weeks todate.

<Geet's monologue>

I wondered who could call me at this time. It was Daadiji.

Daadima:"Geet puttar, aap kaise hain? Agar aap kuch nahi kar rahein hain toh Ghar kyon nahin aate?"

Geet:'Main teek hoon Daadiji, aapk kaise hain?"

Daadima:"Main teek hoon Beta, aap ghar toh aa rahe hain na?"

She seemed desperate to make me visit her.

Geet:"Teek hain Daadiji. Thodi der main nikloongi"

I agreed to meet her, but I was not up for tormenting myself with the memories I had attached to that house.

I reached the mansion and she was waiting for me in the garden. I thanked for I didn't have to get inside the house. She chatted with me casually and after some time Shrivastav served us tea.

She wanted to ask me something, but she hesitated clearly.

Daadima:"Geet hum aap se kuch pooch na chahte hain, agar aap bura na mane tho"

Geet:"Poochiye Daadiji"

Daadima:"Kya aap hume bata sakte hain ki aap kis vajah se, Maan se shaadi karne ke liye inkaar kar diye the?"

Geet:"Daadiji?"

I didn't expect that. She caught me off guard.

Daadiji:"Geet, please, mujhe galat mat samajiye. Aap donon ke beech job hi hua tha, vunke baare main hum jaante hain. Lekin hume bas yahin baat pareshaan karti rahe, ki apne vuse kyon inkaar kar diye the?. Aur main yeh bhi jaanti hoon ki aap dono ek doosre ko bahuth chahte hain, tho problem kya hain?"

Geet:"Dadiji, aap tho jaante hain ki mera divorce…"

I couldn't go ahead and complete the sentence. This was the first time I was telling someone that I have been divorced. Informing my parents was different and this was definitely different.

I stayed silent. I didn't expect that emotion to be so strong and it bowled me over.

Daadima:"Sorry Geet beta. Hamara yeh matlab nahin the…Hum aapke haal samaj sakte hain"

It felt good to hear that from her.

Daadima:"Kya aap jaante hain hume pani ke paas rehna bahuth acha lagta hain. It teaches me the truth about life. Jitna bhi bada saagar ho, jab ek boond vus par ghir tha hain tho, usme thoda bahuth tho disturbance ho tha hain. Haan..ripples…aap vahin boond hain jisne Maan ke zindagi main gire the…Kya aap jaante hain ki aap vusme kitna badlaav laye the. Voh tho sabse moo phira ke beita hua tha NY main, lekin aap se milne ke baad, phir se pyaar aur logon se vumeed rak ne laga hain"

She had tears welling in her eyes.

Daadima:"Aur hum phir se Maan ko khona nahin chahte hain. Aur yeh kaam sirf aap hi sambhal sakte hain. Humara yeh kwahish please poora kijiye."

Geet:"Lekin Daadiji, mujhe thoda waqt chaiye, mujhe pata nahin ki main yeh sab ab sambhal paavoongi ya nahin? Mera khud ka pehchaan banana hain, Rishtey toh ab bahuth badi zimedari hain Daadiji"

Daadima:"Agar aap bura na manenge tho hum aap se kuch kehna chahte hain, mujhe apna hi Daadi samjiye…Aap bikul who thithli ki tarah baat kar rahe hain, jise ne vus cocoon ke andar jaane se pehle, ek caterpillar tha. Haan aapka bhi ek ateet hain, jise ne aapka confidence thod diya hain, ab aap jaante nahin ki aap kya aur kya nahin kar sakte hain. Lekin aap agar bahar nikhal ke nehin dekhenge tho aapko kaisa pata chalega ki aap thithli ban chuke hain?"

She had caught my attention in just one analogy. True…

Daadima:"Rahi baath sambhal ne ki, aap thodi na saare kaam karenge? Maan bhi toh hain. Aap apne galtiyan sambhaliye aur Maan vunke. Dono kaam baant ke karenge toh kaisa bhi mushkil ho, sambhal sakenge…Aur aapka pehchaan ki rahi baath, aap Maan se bol bhi tho sakte hain, ki aap kya chahte hain. Hume tho poora yakeen hain, ki voh aapko samjega aur poora azaadi dega aapko apne chahe hue kaam kar ne liye. Agar aap chahe toh hum bhi aapko support karenge aur aap ki taraf se Maan se baat karenge"

I was in tears. No one except Meer had sat me down and talked to me like this. She was different. Her age commanded her experience. She knew what she was talking about. She will support me? It meant a lot to me to have someone like her for guidance. Maan was very lucky to have a Daadi like her. But I still had my fears. She had me under her spell.

Geet:"Lekin Daadima, main tho choti shehar ki hoon…aur aap…"

Daadima:"Jab aapka Shaadi, Maan so ho jayega , tab aap bhi tho Khurana khandan ke honge…"

She smiled. I got up and turned away. I knew she was expecting an answer from me. She walked toward me and held me by my shoulders with care.

Geet:"Daadiji, mujhe phir bhi in sab se dar lag raha hain. Agar mujse galti hogayi tho? Mujse rishten sambhalna? Main abhi tak vunke baare main kuch nahin jaanti…aur aapka khandan se jude hua maan, maryaada…"

Daadima:"Vun sab ke liye hum haina. Hum sikhayenge aapko. Aapke har kadam ke saath hum kadam milayenge. Hum aap se jald baazi nahin kar ayenge…Aap humpar vishwaas karte hain toh kisi ke baare mat sochiye, sirf shaadi ke liye haan keha dijiye.."

Tears were flowing down my eyes for I remembered what he had told me at Niagara…"Just try, I will walk with you." Why was I receiving the same message from him and from his Daadiji in different forms? I just had to walk…Will he carry me if I'm unable to? It would be nice to have two sets of footprints on the sands of time, but if there was ever to be one, it could only be because one was carrying the other. Could that happen? Will we ever be able to understand each other and achieve such a mature relationship? Only time could answer and I would never know until I started walking with him. It suddently dawned on me that it didn't matter when I would start the journey with him but we had the same amout of work to be done. What if I take time and at the end of it I get too obsessed with other priorties and lose him forever? I couldn't stand that thought. Was I overconfident that he was going to be around forever waiting for me? Why had I not thought about this earlier?  And then the final moment of clarity arrived for me. I could either have a new me around and lose him forever, or have him around forever and work towards a new me.  I chose the later for having him was worth much more than what I was ready to lose.

I hugged her. Her joy knew no bounds and she hugged me back. Babaji, yeh kaise hogaya? I hadn't imagined my life to again turn towards him.

Daadiji had me inside a gas chamber and had me process everything in fast forward mode. I had to come out with an answer else she was not going to let me out. Seemed to be a family trait for I remembered the time he had me trapped in his apartment almost a day and half.

Daadima:"Hum toh bahuth khush hain…Shrivastav mitai leke aa…humari bahu aayi hai"

I blushed and wiped my tears. She kissed my forehead and fed me sweets and she asked the sweets to be distributed to everyone.

Daadiji definitely had charm and some magic in her. I had come here to spend some time with her and now I was turning back to go home as his fianc. I looked at the ring on my hand. How strange? It was like Babaji had planned out everything. Every single minute that I stayed with him and away from him made sense now. He was all the while laying the tracks to have me come here, to this very moment where it all converged and made sense. Nothing was random at all.

I smiled after a long time and I actually felt free. Free from all fears. To my surprise all my inhibitions were gone. Maan was going to be with me and for the rest Daadiji was going to take care. Suddenly I had a family to turn back to. My whole family was cut down from me couple of weeks ago. Even prior to that Ma aur papa did not connect to me the way Daadiji did today. She even agreed to help me get my own identity as well. She was going to be my support system going forward. It indeed made such difference to have an elder at home and guide you. She clearly understood my fears and had assured me in ways that were quite simple but yet comforting. Ab who yeh baat sun ke kaise react karenge? Babaji? I smiled. 

Back in NY

Maan:"Daadima, aap teek tho hain? Yeh aap kya baat kar rahe hain? Mujhe kuch samaj main nahin aa raha"

Daadima:"Maan beta, aap jaldi Delhi aa jayiye…aap ka shadi tai ho gaya hain"

Maan:"Daadima, please aap yeh drama band kijiye mujhe bahuth kaam hai"

Daadima:"Main sach bol raha hoon. Sirf do din mein aapki shaadi hain"

Maan:"Daadima aap mujse pooche bagair…aur main yahan tak ki ladki ko bhi nahin jaanta hoon, aur"

<Maan's monologue>

What is wrong with her? Out of the blue why would she call me and tell me that I'm getting married in two days. That is the weirdest phone call ever.

Daadima:"Aap vus ladki ko jaate hain"

Maan:"Main jaanta hoon…kaun hain?…waise bhi mujhe kisi ladki main interest nahin hain, aur main shaadi bhi nahin karna chahta hoon…main yeh aapse pehle bhi keha chuka hoon Daadima…Bye now…"

Daadima:"Kya aap Geet main bhi interested nahin hain…toh teek hain hum shaadi ke tayari rookva dete hain"

Maan:"Geet?....aap…Geet ke baare main bol rahe hain? Woh…"

What was she talking about? I didn't know how to react. Why would Geet agree? She was not interested at that time. I had mixed feelings about this. Why did she have to act cold first and accept to Daadima's request and not to mine? Something was hurting me deep inside.

Daadima:"Aap line mai tho hain? Toh aap aa rahein hain na?"

Maan:"Daadima, Hum soch ke bateynge…"

Daadima:"Aa tho aap zaroor ayenge…Hum tho isse Haan hi lenge. Ek condition hain mera, hum is shaadi ko hamare marzi se karenge. Aur itne jaldi hone ke naathe, sirf ghar ke logon ko hi bhula rahe hain"

She sounded happy and I was still in a state of shock. I had to find out why everything had changed now?  I had to call her. 

<Geet's monologue>

I was checking my email and I had one response from an employer in San Fransisco. I had already given 3 rounds of interview for that profile, but they wanted another one and they were going to call in another 10 mts. Babaji, please mujhe kisi bhi tarah yeh job dilwa dijiye. I was sitting ready with the phone.

I picked up the phone for it seemed to be an unknown number.

Geet:"Hello, this is Geet…"

Maan:"Geet…"

It was him and I wasn't expecting his call at that time. My eyes were moist. I had not heard his voice in such a long time. My life was renewing upon hearing him.

Geet:"Boliye Maan, aap kaise hain?"

<Maan's monologue>

It felt good to hear my name from her. Her voice was shaking?

Maan:"Main tumse kuch baat karna chahta hoon…Daadima mujhe phone kiye the…"

Geet:"Ji, kya hum baad main baat kar sakte hain?"

Maan:"Kya tum abhi baat nahin kar sakti?"

Geet:"Nahin, main ek call expect kar rahi hoon…mujhe who call lena hain"

There was a second call beep.

Geet:"Maan mujhe yeh call lene hi padega…yeh bahuth zaroori call hain…main baad main baath kart hi hoon"

She cut the call even before I could say anything. I was not important? I had to find out for I couldn't digest the fact that she accepted when Daadima spoke to her. I was still in a state of shock. Everything was going to change. I had not prepeared for this change at all. I had no tickets and not packed yet.  I felt shaken and  I didn't know which one to approach first. She had stayed back in India for this?  I still didn't know if she was going to come back with me, but I was getting married to her in two days? I kept repeating it for it didn't settle with me. Something still didn't seem right. I didn't know if it was the right thing to do. It stuck me that we had long gone without speaking with each other, it almost seemed like I was getting married to a stranger. Stranger. Was she? I had not spent any time with her to know her completely. Fear engulfed me for I was coming to terms with the relationship we were going to handle. I had proposed that night with the words "I need you…" True I needed her, but now need was not going to cut it. I had to mentally prepare for this responsibility. What would it mean interms of changing myself or being who I'm? I didn't know. Can anyone be fully ready? I wondered.

Just then congratulation emails came in from Yash and Meera. Daadima had called them too and we were starting the same day but different airlines. I couldn't get an earlier flight. I was going to reach India on the night before the day…the day. 

Back in India

<Geet's monologue>

I was confident I was going to get the job. Both the calls had come within a few minutes of each other and that to me was a surprise. I had realized the importance of how things were tied to each other and had a time and purpose. Daadima had called me later that day to tell me about his travel plan. He was going to reach on the night before marriage. I couldn't help but smile. Yash and Meer had called me too and they were reaching the previous day. He will be a little late for the Mehendi and Sangeet, but Yash and Meer will be here to help with the preperations.  I laughed when it came to me that they will be in different time zones that day and how they were all going to manage their jet lags.

I was getting married…again. I didn't know how, but everything was being taken care of. Once again I was going to share my life and dreams with another person, with him. This time it was with a person who truly loved me back and who I loved as well, but we were still strangers to this new relationship. Daadiji was perhaps scared that I might change my decision and so she went ahead and fixed the first mahurat that she could lay her hands on. It apparently was very auspicious and I couldn't help wonder if this was another sign from Babaji. I had requestd Daadiji for the occasion to be a quiet family affair. She had assured me that it will be and that she wanted something in return as well. I wondered what she meant by that. It didn't matter, for I will be sitting next to him as his bride. 

Daadiji was indeed right. I couldn't hold on to a blank canvas and call myself a painter. I needed to paint first to see what I was capable of. I had to make my own mistakes to learn. Come out of my cocoon to see if I was a butterfly already. I lifted my hand to see the butterfly charm he had given me to remind me of the beauty I had brought into his life and for my spirit.

What colors did I have on my wings?

Ok. People all set for the big day? I cant wait either. Let see how it goes. Please keep posting and writing to me. Hopefully this clarifies Geet, as yesterday was Maan's show. Finally I think I can relax from 51 as they will be much smaller and not such intense. My brain still hurts for I haven't slept and its 5.21 AM here. So please comment for my sake.🥱

1st to read and comment YES

I'm now sighing with contentment after reading your update :-)

Thanks for making Geet's POV clear. Read this on my phone...will come back home and post a detailed comment! This was a beautiful update. Loved Daadi to the core..

really loved it just happy that dadi made geet realise tht she had to move on and learn frm her mistakes and hope they get married without anymore distrubances hope maan comes to know that dadi convinced geet for marriage and be happy with her
plzzzzzzzzz update soon

wow amazing update