Money can buy love - Page 6

Originally posted by: power1921

at first sight,the only thing that attracts is the physical appearance...only when we get to know the person well enough,we don't care much about the appearance and see his/her goodness..

my question is this...will anyone be honest to themselves and go forward to love a dark or a fat girl/boy because their character is good?

Love purely based on physical characteristics would be lust not love. Love purely based on character would be friendship or platonic love.

Love (platonic) the emotion in itself is based on character and not physical appearance. Unless we are extremely shallow, I think every human is equipped with the ability to love irrespective of physical appearance – fat, thin, dark, pale, tall, short, young, old – whatever. It is all about making a connection with people. This love can turn either into a romance, or remain as friends, mentors, parental/sibling type figures.

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have physical attraction where character does not matter. Unless we are saints, I think every human can get physically attracted to someone irrespective of what their character is like – mean, friendly, smart, stupid, honest, tricky – whatever. It is all about what turns people on. Physical attraction can turn into romance, or remain as one night stands, crushes, acquaintances or friends.

However, romantic love – the kind that leads to long term relationships or marriages is a combination of both love and physical attraction. It is not necessarily shallow, people have their own emotional and physical preferences, they will look for physical and emotional characteristics that turn them on. When people find the right balance, the chemistry clicks and things take off. Often compromises are needed to reach that balance. We all would probably hope to get some Greek God with the personality of an angel, but we are dealing with humans. Some people will feel that it is ok if someone is fatter or darker or a bit ordinary looking, they have a great sense of humor and a very loving charming personality. Some people will feel it is ok that someone is a bit dull and not a great conversationalist, they are still nice and extraordinarily good looking.

If it was not for this physical/sexual attraction – most people would marry their best friends. A lot of people are very emotionally attached and emotionally intimate with their best friends. Best friends can be life anchors, emotional buffers that people rely on. Many people also consider best friends as their soul mates rather than spouses or significant others, simply because the emotional attachment or love based on character forms very strong bonds. Its just that the sexual chemistry is not there.

But that is why there is also such a fine line between friendship and love, that people often get confused or fall for their best friends all the time. A lot of times in friendships, especially childhood friendships people don't think of the attraction aspect or look at friends in that way. But as we grow older or grow closer to people and start learning more about them, different factors come to play in and the lines get blurrier.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Love purely based on physical characteristics would be lust not love. Love purely based on character would be friendship or platonic love.

Love (platonic) the emotion in itself is based on character and not physical appearance. Unless we are extremely shallow, I think every human is equipped with the ability to love irrespective of physical appearance ' fat, thin, dark, pale, tall, short, young, old ' whatever. It is all about making a connection with people. This love can turn either into a romance, or remain as friends, mentors, parental/sibling type figures.

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have physical attraction where character does not matter. Unless we are saints, I think every human can get physically attracted to someone irrespective of what their character is like ' mean, friendly, smart, stupid, honest, tricky ' whatever. It is all about what turns people on. Physical attraction can turn into romance, or remain as one night stands, crushes, acquaintances or friends.

However, romantic love ' the kind that leads to long term relationships or marriages is a combination of both love and physical attraction. It is not necessarily shallow, people have their own emotional and physical preferences, they will look for physical and emotional characteristics that turn them on. When people find the right balance, the chemistry clicks and things take off. Often compromises are needed to reach that balance. We all would probably hope to get some Greek God with the personality of an angel, but we are dealing with humans. Some people will feel that it is ok if someone is fatter or darker or a bit ordinary looking, they have a great sense of humor and a very loving charming personality. Some people will feel it is ok that someone is a bit dull and not a great conversationalist, they are still nice and extraordinarily good looking.

If it was not for this physical/sexual attraction ' most people would marry their best friends. A lot of people are very emotionally attached and emotionally intimate with their best friends. Best friends can be life anchors, emotional buffers that people rely on. Many people also consider best friends as their soul mates rather than spouses or significant others, simply because the emotional attachment or love based on character forms very strong bonds. Its just that the sexual chemistry is not there.

But that is why there is also such a fine line between friendship and love, that people often get confused or fall for their best friends all the time. A lot of times in friendships, especially childhood friendships people don't think of the attraction aspect or look at friends in that way. But as we grow older or grow closer to people and start learning more about them, different factors come to play in and the lines get blurrier.

you have raised the age old question...of the fine line between friendship and love..isn't it but natural to fall for someone with who you share a strong emotional balance...so, i guess people prefer emotions over appearances...

However, romantic love ' the kind that leads to long term relationships or marriages is a combination of both love and physical attraction.
i have to agree to this,because i also belong to the same school of thought....we all have our own preferences and ideas about our future partners...so i believe we will be searching for all those qualities in a single human being(which of course is a hard task)...so,i guess there is nothing wrong,if physical attraction plays a role in your relationship for the first time...but ultimately its the understanding and the mutual respect for each other that makes a relationship click...😊

Originally posted by: power1921

well i do believe in this rebirth philosophy...but i think we are deviating from the topic..
if i were to ask u the same question(of marrying a dark/fat/blind/handicapped girl)
what would your reply be?im sure you wouldn't answer spontaneously...

that itself shows the confusion(sorry for the personal query)

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Love purely based on physical characteristics would be lust not love. Love purely based on character would be friendship or platonic love.

Love (platonic) the emotion in itself is based on character and not physical appearance. Unless we are extremely shallow, I think every human is equipped with the ability to love irrespective of physical appearance ' fat, thin, dark, pale, tall, short, young, old ' whatever. It is all about making a connection with people. This love can turn either into a romance, or remain as friends, mentors, parental/sibling type figures.

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have physical attraction where character does not matter. Unless we are saints, I think every human can get physically attracted to someone irrespective of what their character is like ' mean, friendly, smart, stupid, honest, tricky ' whatever. It is all about what turns people on. Physical attraction can turn into romance, or remain as one night stands, crushes, acquaintances or friends.

However, romantic love ' the kind that leads to long term relationships or marriages is a combination of both love and physical attraction. It is not necessarily shallow, people have their own emotional and physical preferences, they will look for physical and emotional characteristics that turn them on. When people find the right balance, the chemistry clicks and things take off. Often compromises are needed to reach that balance. We all would probably hope to get some Greek God with the personality of an angel, but we are dealing with humans. Some people will feel that it is ok if someone is fatter or darker or a bit ordinary looking, they have a great sense of humor and a very loving charming personality. Some people will feel it is ok that someone is a bit dull and not a great conversationalist, they are still nice and extraordinarily good looking.

If it was not for this physical/sexual attraction ' most people would marry their best friends. A lot of people are very emotionally attached and emotionally intimate with their best friends. Best friends can be life anchors, emotional buffers that people rely on. Many people also consider best friends as their soul mates rather than spouses or significant others, simply because the emotional attachment or love based on character forms very strong bonds. Its just that the sexual chemistry is not there.

But that is why there is also such a fine line between friendship and love, that people often get confused or fall for their best friends all the time. A lot of times in friendships, especially childhood friendships people don't think of the attraction aspect or look at friends in that way. But as we grow older or grow closer to people and start learning more about them, different factors come to play in and the lines get blurrier.

Well said. Physical appearance does matter.