Part 36: Life's undo button.
<Geet's monologue>
I prayed that Meer wouldn't be there at home. He dropped me back at the apartment after our dinner. I know I had to face her sometime, but I don't have any answers for her questions at this time.
To my surprise, she didn't ask any. What is going on? Any girl would be curious.
Meera:"Finally madam ji ko yaad agaya ki main bhi isi apartment mein rahti hoon…"
Geet:"Meer please….I'm not in the mood to get teased. How was your day?"
Meera:"Bahuth sare shopping kiya….groceries bhi."
Geet:"So…did you do your dinner?"
Meera:"Haan…I heated up some frozen."
Geet:"Did Yash join you?"
Meera:"No…I don't know whats with him. He hasn't shown up the whole week. Aur office mein bhi bahuth chup chup hain…I hope its not some girl."
Geet:"Tumhe lagta hai ki…he could be involved with someone else…"
Meera:"I don't know yaar…and I don't care…"
Geet:"Seriously…sachi…you don't care"
Meera:"Kya farak padtha hain…You already know how I feel about him, it doesn't matter because, I will never make the first move without knowing how he feels for me…and the rate at which things are going, I don't think I'm special to him the same way he is to me"
I knew exactly what she meant.
Geet:"Lets give it some more time…then you can decide."
I felt bad that none of the relationships around were taking off. I smiled.
There was something that was running in my mind the whole week. I think its time to let my parents know about me and Dev. The time I spent with him, gave me the support I needed and gave me the clarity that I needed to face my situation with my family as well. I took a deep breath and dialed India.
Rano:"Geet puttar, tum kaiso ho?…aur itne dinon ke baath…tum teek ho…aur dev ji kaise hain?"
Geet:"Ma, Main teek hoon, aur ghar mein sab log kaise hain?"
Rano:"Hahan…yahan pe sab log teek hain…tumhara kaam kaaj kaise chal raha hai….main toh bolti hoon ki yeh sab chod, aur vapas chali ja "Kanada" (Canada)"
Geet:"Ma…mujhe aapse kuch kehna hai….aur please ma…meri baath dyan se suniye.."
Rano:"Puttar sab teek tho hain na?"
Geet:"Ma, main aur dev ek saath nahin hain…who mujhe chod ke kahin chale gaye"
That was the start of the drama over the call. She cried and blamed me for everything that went wrong, that I didn't tie him to the family with a kid. How I had sabotaged the prestige of Handa parivaar?
Darji got on the call too and forced me to come back to India and that he will make sure that everything between me and Dev will be "Handled". I knew what that meant. For now, I was glad that they didn't have access to me. I understood their emotions, but they didn't get a grasp of reality. They still thought that if they can force two people to stay under the same roof, things will change. I didn't agree with that anymore. I wanted to live on my own and I wasn't ready to be under another man's refuge. To them any girl above the age of 20 had to be with a husband and that happinesss was defined by marriage and not anything else. Their outlook on life did not match mine at any point of time and at 18 years of age I had not seen the world enough for myself to have my own opinions either. Perhaps, I will never be able to go to India, for now US was my refuge and I had to make sure I do everything right to stay here.
Monday
I was in his cabin for the sudden 10.30 he set up that morning.
Maan:"Hi, Geet, meet Pinky, Pinky this is Geet."
Maan:"Geet, you will be the buddy for Pinky. She is with <offshore vendor>. You will make sure that she will be onboarded soon, and gets to know how we do things around here…Aur pinky, if there is anything else, you want to know about getting around here, or even outside the office, Geet should be able to help you with that too."
Geet:"Ok. Maan. I will take care."
<Maan's monologue>
Maan?.She was calling me Maan again. We had our issues sorted out on Saturday, but I wasn't sure how things were going to be at office. I was glad, but I kept it to my self.
Pinky and Geet were about to leave the room. I wanted to talk to Geet alone.
Maan:"Geet, I need to talk about something. "
I stayed behind and seated myelf on the chair.
Maan:"So geet, have you sent me the counts for EC I had asked earlier…"
Geet:"Haan, Maan I already sent it to you. It must be there in your inbox"
Too bad, He always checked emails promptly. He wanted to ask something else and his cover up was poor.
Maan:"Toh….that's it then"
I didn't know what he wanted to ask, but I went ahead to tell him what I wanted to.
Geet:"Hmm…you have that session with Meera right? So come early, I'm cooking tonight"
I don't want to analyze what he shares with Meera or with other women, but I did know that he was special to me and I was not going to loose out any opportunity to be with him.
<Maan's monologue>
Yes. That's all I wanted. Now that I was her director, it was getting increasingly difficult for me to ask her out for lunch or coffee. I didn't want to wait until the evening to ask her to spend time with me and end up finding out that she would be unavailable. I didn't care outside office, but in here, my guilt ruled me.
<Geet's monologue>
I immediately took to Pinky, she was nave and sweet. I took her under my wing, for she very much reminded me of my younger sister Raajjo. I introduced her to the staff around and gave her a tour of the building. I took Meer's help to make sure she had all her office papers filled in.
It was lunch already and I took her to my regular Caf Lulu's. She did not like the food available there, but I didn't want to go far off either we settled with whatever was edible enough for her.
I enquired about where she was to stay and if she needed any help finding a place.
I gave her some overview on how to get by to office and also gave information on how to obtain the SSN and get going with the ususal port of entry stuff like drivers licence, bank account, credit card etc.
Once back in office, I helped her with the org structure, work ethics and email ethics here. I also gave her introduction to the subject area in which she was to be working and while we were at that…
Pinky:"Geet, do you think we can continue some other time? I think it's too much for me to take in."
Probably she is right. I will let today's information sink in and then I will go ahead with the induction.
Geet:"Ok. So when do you want me to set up the meeting tomorrow"
Pinky:"Do you think we can wait until I have a question about something?"
Geet:"I don't get it Pinky. What do you mean?"
I really didn't get what she meant. She wants me to wait until she had a question?
Pinky:"Haan Geet. I think I want to test the waters with what I know and figure out what needs to be done further. Please don't take me wrong. I think all the info you have given me so far is great, but I have worked on these things before, and if you tell me everything now I will not be able to gauge where I stand in these things."
I understood where she was coming from, but I was dumbstruck.
Geet:"Hmmm…" I was still taken back. Was she complaining that I was helping her?
Pinky:"Actually I have been looking for a place to stay over the internet as well and sorry that is why I didn't show interest in the places you suggested. You know I sort of want to go around and then do house hunting"
Geet:"But how will you know about the area? What if it's got a bad rep to stay there? Since you are new here you wouldn't even know"
Pinky:"That's true, but I will take an opinion from you once I decide upon the place…but otherwise I appreciate all the info you have given me so far."
She was polite in declining the help I offered but I didn't understand why I was so hurt. All that I could think was why she would decline any favor that came her way when she was new and wasn't used to the way things were done around here.
For the rest of the day and all through evening, I couldn't keep my thoughts from going back to what Pinky had said.
It was dinner time and I was already done with cooking. Meer was working late and she said she would come in right in time for the class. I was waiting for Yash to show up and the door bell rang.
He was there, just as he was told, 7.00 PM on the dot. I was glad that I was going to get some alone time until Yash shows up.
Maan:"Hmm…smells good. What for dinner?"
Geet:"Ji, Not much, rice, roti, chole, aur kadhi banayi maine.."
Maan:"Awesome…I will taste everything. I have to go for the session with Meera, so may be I will come back later for more"
I placed little of everything on the plate, for him to taste.
We settled on opposite ends of the window seat.
Maan:"You seem preoccupied…are you ok…Hmmm. This stuff is good…"
Geet:"Thanks…ji...nahin…I'm doing fine."
Maan:"So how was your day?"
Geet:"Bas..I was pretty much occupied with Pinky…I gave her a tour, asked her if she needed any help with the apartment and stuff and also gave her an intro to the subject area…but I guess she is on track"
Maan:"Nice, she is all set in just one day. Good we have shortened up the ramp up time for new resources."
Geet:" I wouldn't say so Maan. I gave her all the info I could today, but she wants to figure things out on her own. For now she doesn't want me to give her all the details. Same is the case with the apartment; apparently she has been checking stuff out on the internet. "
Maan:"Another Geet in the making is it?"
Geet:"Hmmm…I don't get you"
Maan:"Tum bhi bol rahi thi…two weeks ago…that you don't need any help from me and that you want to "figure things out"…"
Geet:"Ji…"
Oh! Babaji….Did he feel that same way I did when I asked him to stay out? I never expected it to hurt me so much, and I had known pinky for only a day and whereas he had been around me for sometime now.
Why did I get carried away with Pinky so much? Is it because she looked so much like Raajjo? I guess I connected to her at a different level and started caring for her the same way…wait…C…A…R…E….
He claimed to be doing the same thing for me as well. I smiled. Babaji aap bhi badi ajeeb se mere sawal ke liye jawaab de the ho. I probably questioned hundred times why Maan had to do so much for me and now you made me realize the answer on my own?. He gave me the same answer but it didn't make sense until now. I guess you can never stop caring for a person after you bond with them, be it any level.
I was sure the same theory behind why I was gving away all the information to Pinky applied here in my case as well. I felt that she didn't have to re-invent the wheel when I had already been there done that, but the only difference was that Maan was actually helping me out with stuff that he had access to and I with information that I was previliged with Pinky. I was completely at peace with the situation. All I wanted was an undo button in life for me to take away the hurt I had caused him that day.
He was almost done eating by then.
Geet:"Maan…second serving?"
Maan:"Hmmm..sirf Kadhi"
I came back and gave him the plate.
Geet:"Maan…my insurance needs re-instating and I really don't mind looking for quotes. Do you know an agent or any other options I can shop around for?"
He looked at me puzzled.
<Maan's monologue>
Didn't she say she wanted to work things out her own way? Then why was she asking me for info now?"
I wasn't sure if this was a game.
Maan:"Hmmm seriously? You are asking me for a favor?"
Geet:"Ji…if you can help me with…."
Maan:"Hmmm sure I will pass on my agents nos."
Geet:"Thanks.."
I didn't want to react too much. I was simply content that she was asking me for help and that is all that mattered to me.
<Geet's monologue>
I was surprised he didn't behave like other guys and actually act hard to get. He was just not into immature talks and I was happy about not having to deal with such stuff.
Maan:"Hmm…what else?"
Geet:"What else?....Hmmm…Yeah….I informed my people back in India about me and Dev…"
He immediately seemed curious.
Maan:"How did they receive it?"
Geet:"It was the usual drama. They want me to come back to Hoshiarpur. They want to handle it, and I exactly know what they mean by that."
<Maan's monologue>
I wanted to know what her decision was. I wanted to confirm with her that she was not leaving,
Maan:"So, what have you decided."
Geet:"Aap yeh kya pooch rahen hain Maan, there is no question of me going back. This is my home now, and thanks to you for that"
Maan:"Geet…please ab baar baar thanks mat bolna….actually I need one more roti"
We went to the kichen and she started rolling the atta. I just wanted to stay around longer and I needed a reason, roti would do for now.
The roti puffed well and that told me that she was an expert at that. When she was about to take the roti off the pan, her index and middle finger touched the hot pan by mistake . Oops
Geet:'AAhhhh…"
I instatntly placed the plate down and ran to catch hold of her hand.
Maan:"Tum teek to ho na…Geet ankhen kol kar kaam kiya kar…."
<Geet's monologue>
He was stern but in a caring way.
My thoughts raced back to Toronto
….."Dev if you are going to be so inert and so careless then I'm going to walk away with the first person who shows me even a little bit of care…."
Maan was not inert in anyway. I affected him no matter what. His words from yesterday once again rang in my ears…"Tum ab teek to ho na". All these incidents were nudging me towards the two buckets I was considering. I still wanst sure which one to take out completely. I smiled.
Maan:"Tum has rahi ho…what's the inside joke?"
Geet:"It's not an inside joke…just something that came to my mind…I was considering two names"
To name our relationship.
Geet:" and didn't know which one to decide"
As we were speaking, he opened the tap and held my hand under the cold water to cool down the burn.
The water was freezing cold.
Maan:"And I guess with the way you mentioned it you are not going to tell me what you want to name…"
I swayed my head from left to right, indicating a no.
Geet:"No way…"
Maan:"So if I actually suggest something will it be considered "helping" you out…"
Geet:"Maan…yeh to sirf conversation hain…"
Maan:"Ok…then put off the thing for now…give it a break. Then the first thing that comes to your mind after that break is what it you should name it. Your mind always holds on to the thing that you like…and that name will weather it out…by the way who is the kid? Boy or a girl?"
I couldn't control my laughter. No wonder he was giving me suggestions and I didn't blame him because that is the way I had put forth to him.
Geet:"Hmmm… it's a he and he is family…"
Yes, he will be my family, no matter what the name is…Very much my family here….Meer, Maan and Yash…
These silly conversations made my day…and each day gave me a new revelation. I was geared up for more, determined to go to the end of earth to have my answers.
Meer was home. She quickly changed and off they went to class.
I stood by the door and saw him walk away with Meer.
Things had changed so much. My heart started craving more of him, wanting to spend every moment of every day with him. It felt like he owed me a debt of time for all the years he was missing in my life. His attention and concern for me drove me crazy. I could never grow tired of it.
Babaji yeh bhi aakpa khel hai kya? Did you deprive me of the one thing I wanted in life for all this while, just to make sure I recognize and appreciate it when I actually get it?
He made me do some things I would never do normally. I went back to change and go down.
I was venturing into shaky ground. I wasn't sure how if I was going to survive the test of time.
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