DOTW: How Much Should Wife Change??

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crysind

@crysind

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: Angelic_A

I think the fact that Badima's husband thought that Badima needs to change herself made this relationship not work out. Because he had a set of frame in his mind.. that he expected Badima to be in. And whether they talk or not would have not mattered at all. He would have need to change his thinking style inorder for the relationship to work.

Take the case of Panna and Raunack. Panna's MIL doesn't like her at all. And they only reason why Panna can survive in that family is because Raunack is supporting her. And even though Raunack has this high thinking of being in the 1st class.. he never wanted to change is middle class Panna. This is the reason why their relationship is working.

Good example Aman... Panna - Raunak... Yes, they are a good example for this discussion...

I am not saying simply talk... "Talk, Understand, Adjust & Solve" - "Adjusting" is what we need as the 3rd step which didn't happen here. Yes, what you said is exactly right... He expected Badima to be in his life style frame which didn't happen. But this issue must have solved in many ways. I still can't understand being a son of Kashyap family, why he couldn't understand the value of our culture... our style of dressings...value of traditions.... 😕 It is really wired ha...🤔

Edited by crysind - 14 years ago

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Shwetha

@Shwets1502

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#12

@febs...ya i too wondered how bade papa got tooo modern living in the kashyaps....i think there is too much more to this track...i hope they do show...i heard this track is not on in OBS yet...i hope SGP includes it...
i would like to see how badi maa changed after he left..hw was the family support and all...

iam sure that a lot of changes had to be done by badi maa in her life without him...i would like to see that...

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@-RD-

Stunner

+ 9

Posted: 14 years ago

#13

I appreciate change if one is willing to do it out of their love and understanding for the other person ...or to make their better half happy .Also when one gets married to the other person ...they marry them for what they r so why do they expect them to change later on ......agar kisi ko main aaj pasand hoon lke I am ...then why wud they want me to change after we are married ....is something i dont get

Frm personal experience though ...my wud me mum in law and the entire family says i have brought back the old Akash for them with some beautiful changes ........so sometimes u grow change and rediscover yrself in some one's love...but it shud be yr own decision ......not bec its some rule ...and to be frank my fiance has changed more in my presence ...and i havent changed a bit as yet nor does anyone want me to change ... once I decided ....i was now engaged so i wudnt wear western dresses to his parents place but when his parents noticed this change they were angry With me and his dadi dragged me outside the house and said go change and come back yr usual self else i wont let u in 🤣

Edited by rdfan - 14 years ago

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Sheema

@infinity00

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#14

Good discussion in progress. I think youngster when they are looking for life partner should think long term like would you be able to spend all your life with that person? go against the family if you think you cant live with a GHAREELO larki , and the same choice for girls, if you are not comfortable with GHAREELO larka say no. Its better to say NO now then ruining or regretting about your life later.Habits can be changed but you should try to change some one,s NATURE.

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#15

Question: Why always the woman?

Answer: The woman is always subjected to the change because the society that she belongs to, the traditions and cultures that are part of the society are Indian. And India is a male-dominated society.

The Indian woman comes across as the subtle, responsible and mature female who's life's sole purpose it to take care of the household and live up to the expectations of her family. Even though, the whole fundamental does not make one bit sense to me - I take it, this is very much necessary for the woman to do or she wouldn't be considered an accomplished wife. However, the man is never asked to change and I really don't find a reason behind that? Why is the male more superior to the female, is it because of his physical strongness? Anyway - he's dependent on a woman and here again, the wife is needful of the change because the family she's married in and the man she's married to and deeply loves require her support, which involves due adjustments and changes. Logical enough, what say people?

And now if I voice my own opinion, I would say that both a man and woman have to change once they are married. Various changes take place in a person's life after they're married, regardless to their sex I am talking. Needless to say, with time a man and a woman in a marriage start to change gradually. Like Suhaana has grown fond of the family and is used to living in a family now. This change in her is gradual. And I believe, the correct kind of marriage - with all the affection and understanding and not just responsibilty that is - makes both the sexes adjust accordingly. Badi Maa states it right, marriages cannot be run smoothly without affection and understanding.

-Kankshita

Edited by -Kanky- - 14 years ago

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minotiy

@minotiy

Beginner

Posted: 14 years ago

#16

First of all.. I dont think the dress BM showed to Suhana was western dress. It was a fancy without sleeves blouse..to be worn with a saree. Secondly, when people talk about not changing themselves after marriage... I really dont understand. Change is part of life..Growing up and growing old.. all include change. And so does marriage. From her discussion it seems, her husband bought these kinda gifts.. a subtle way of saying he wants her to dress little sexy/modern whatever. He never forced her for this..my husband always liked to get up late. but now he makes morning tea for us early morning, not because he likes to do that but because I like that and he loves me.Similarly I also do things for him which I would not have done myself, just because I know that makes him happy. This does not mean we have changed for each other and we should not change just because we are expected to.

The catalyst of BM & Iswar break up was them floating apart. Stopped caring about one another and more busy with their own world. Husband in his work and BM with the family. What she was trying to say is.. it had become a dead relationship as none of them were giving time, importance and closeness to each other. A very common mistake that happens with married couple, specially after few years of marriage.

What she is saying is that they both made a mistake and thats why she does not hold only her husband responsible for this. and thats why no anger for him...

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