Dude, you need to start telling me about your FFs!! I didn't know about this one. Anyways, lemme go on and read the rest.
Now about the second sentence I mentioned, some people on I-F are pretty young (I'm only 13 and so are you, but I don't go a day without swearing) and some people don't like swear words such as bitch. I get why you use it in the ff, and it makes sense, even I would say it. But just make the t into a * or something because I know you might get in trouble like that and some people don't prefer reading words in ffs like that. Just something I felt like telling ya.
Chapter Two (Part B)- *Huge smiles* Again, I was completely blown away by some one-liners. Man, you are just amazing with the way of words are you gal? Nupur's replies to Mayank were outstanding! Brilliant job!
Chapter Three- Okay, loved it loads and loads. My eyes went wide open towards the ending. Only had a problem with one sentence, I placed my lips on his. If you didn't know this, one of my constant pet peeves is everyone using the same EXACT words every single time. Thank you for being original and re-wording it your way. That was the only sentence I did not like. Like I've said before, when I read any ff, I read consciously and notice fragile mistakes. And I know that you like criticism and want to improve on your writing. That's why I tell you this. The main reason I don't tell other this stuff is because fragile feelings. What I mean is that I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying this and that. I'm only telling this to you because every writer wants to improve but sometimes, emotions come into them too.
Better start updating this sooner, and if ever need any help, then do tell me and we can pm/chat about it.
