Please Stop Domestic Violence

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Mitrashakti

@Mitrashakti

Voyager

+ 6

Posted: 15 years ago

This is my second post today. Since I am a lawyer and work with domestic violence cases I feel obligated to do something over and over again although it is just a soap. Its all the more important for me to comment because I see there are people who are very innocent and naive in the forum who cannot see right or wrong of a person. They just blatatently love the character because of the looks or charisma.

Here are some facts that I have organized for everyone to understand about domestic violence. After you read the facts you will understand that Kesar and Pratigya has been going through domestic violence every moment. And Krishna, afterall this speculation has not been actually doing the duty of a husband and protecting her from the wrath of his family , but has brought her in this situation on the first place.

Please read the facts:

My office has a specialized Domestic Violence unit which handles all Domestic Violence cases.

Domestic Violence is the use of abusive tactics and physical force to obtain and maintain power and control over a partner.
Domestic Violence can include physical assault, sexual assault, emotional abuse, economic abuse and verbal abuse.
Domestic Violence never stops on its own. Once it starts, it gets progressively worse in frequency and severity.

Recognizing the Cycle of Violence

The Tension Building Stage:
The abuser is edgy, everything makes him/her angry, he/she verbally lashes out, and may throw or hit objects, he/she may complain about small insignificant things, causing tension to build in the household. Then it happens...

The Explosion:
The abuser explodes with anger. He/she may verbally assault and/or physically assault the victim. Pushing, choking and slapping are common forms of domestic violence. Threatening to injure or kill the victim's family or friends are also common elements in domestic violence. Immediately after the explosion the abuser is often sorry and minimizes his/her behavior...

The Honeymoon Stage:
The abuser is repentant, may cry, plead for forgiveness, revert to "courting" behavior. He/She may try to justify his/her actions and promise it will never happened again. That is, until the next time.

Could You Be In An Abusive situation?
Some Questions To Think About...

Do you have to ask your partner's permission to go somewhere or do something?

How often are you put down by your partner.

How often do you feel threatened or hurt by your partner's behavior when you disagree with he/she.

When you are prevented from getting a job or education?

You have arguments with your partner often and is in fear that you might end physically or mentally hurt.

Establish And Use Your Support System: Talk to family and friends and ask for their support and help. This may be hard to do but, you can't tackle this problem alone.

Establish A Safety Plan For Yourself And Your Children: Decide on a place you can go if you need to leave quickly, keep some spare money, spare keys and important papers for you and your children in a safe place that you can get to quickly.

Make A Personal Commitment To Stop The Violence In Your Family:

Domestic violence NEVER stops on its own.

Abuse is NEVER the victim's fault.

For your children - find a safer, healthier model for their living.

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Frequent Posters

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@ShellJA

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

Can you answer a couple of questions for me ...this is totally out of curiosity and my general knowledge of India:

Are there shelters in India where women can go if they are trying to run from a violent situation?

What resources are available to women in these situations? i.e. like your practice, help phone lines?

How widely is help available in big urban areas and rural areas?

How much domestic violence get reported and prosecuted in India?

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raj2010nasha

@raj2010nasha

Beginner

Posted: 15 years ago

Thank you for posting this. It is important that people are aware of how the victim feels like domestic violence and people, especially guys and any girls who support them, should know there is no excuse for violence against women. No justification.

It would be good if Arhaan Behl or some actors on the show could give some personal message saying that violence against women is not tolerated under any situation. Or the show could give some disclaimer like Na aana iss desh meri laado has so people don't get wrong message. As a guy it disgusts me when i see such scenes on tv or i see a husband slap his wife and then the movie continues like nothing happened. There is no excuse for it ever.

I live overseas but all my family is in India, and we have had cases where the saas makes the bahu do something but no one speaks about it. i am curious as to whether such families really exist in India that accept it outside of goonda families.

Edited by raj2010nasha - 15 years ago

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Please Stop Domestic Violence

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