----The Calm Before the Storm (Part 1)---------------------------------------------------------------
The squeals and laughter coming from the children's room drew Ragini. Clearly, no one was sleeping yet! As she opened the door to the room, a pillow hit her square in the face. She had walked into a riotous pillow fight. Tammy, Khushi, Alekh, Gunni and…Anmol too!….They hadn't noticed her yet.
"Kya ho raha hai yahaan pe?"
"Mamma, hum to aise hi khel rahe the, Alekh chachu…" "Masimaa, humen neend nahin aa rahi thi aur gunni didi…" "Ragini, humne kuch nahin kiya, yeh guni hai na, usne shuru kiya…" "Chachi! Maine kuch nahin kiya, Alekh chachu ne shuru kiya"….A chorus of happy breathless voices…Something fierce gripped her heart. She loved them all so much.
"Kal school nahin jaana kisi ko? Aur Guni tum? Exams nahin hain tumhare?" She pretended to be very angry, but the laughter in her eyes gave her away. Guni said goodnight and left to do some more studying. The children settled down on the bed and along with Alekh began petitioning for a lori. She settled down happily with them…and was about to begin when Alekh stopped her. "Tammy ke pappa, aap kahaan jaa rahe ho?" "Hanh, pappa, rukiye na." "Partner, aap bhi lori suniye na, aapko bhi neend nahin aa rahi thi na?"
Anmol hadn't said a word since she came into the room. He looked at her briefly and then "Nahin, aaj nahin, mujhe bahut kaam hai. Goodnight baccha party, goodnight Alekh bhaiyya. Good night" And he was gone. She noticed that as soon as she came into the room all the laughter had drained from his eyes…He looked grave and serious. He looked like that a lot these days….Something gripped her heart once more…not love this time. It felt like pain and fear…Nonsense! She tried to put him out of her mind and concentrate on the song. The children needed to sleep! How many times had Anmol sat with her as she sang the children to sleep? How she loved that beautiful and peaceful time of the night. She would sing, her voice tinged with the sadness of Sadhna's memory. When she felt her voice catching in her throat, she would only have to look up and she would see Anmol smiling at her, silently giving her strength, wiping her tears away and telling her to smile. Then they would switch off the light together as they left the room after once last look at the sleeping faces of their children. It was their moment…No, she would not think about it. The children and Alekh were already asleep.
She turned off the light by herself, feeling lost and small and alone. She shook herself. It was only a light she was turning off after all! How could she miss Anmol's presence for a silly thing like that? Missing Anmol…their children…their moment….what was wrong with her? She needed to sleep. It was tiredness.
She wandered into the bedroom, trying hard not to look for Anmol. But he wasn't there. He wouldn't be anyway. He was probably waiting for her to come in before getting his things. But how would he know she had come in? He was probably in the study waiting for her, she would go to him….he needed to sleep too, he worked so hard and lately he's been looking so exhausted all the time.
He was in the study….he had fallen asleep at the desk again. She put her hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Suniye, yahaan mat soyiye, andar aake so jayiye…" He woke with a start and jumped out of the chair….He looked sleepy and confused and she had to stop herself from reaching out to touch his tousled hair. Then that weary look in his eyes again…."Nahin, aaj bahut kaam hai, mujhe sona nahin chahiye tha…thank you for waking me. Main baad mein aa jaaunga,…aap so jaayiye, good night." And just like that she was dismissed….
Hurt and confused she went back to her room. She lay down, but sleep was the last thing on her mind. What was bothering Anmol? Why was he acting so strangely? He didn't seem to want to be in the same room with her! Had she offended him in any way? This was so unlike him. In the six years she had been married to him, he had never acted this way. He was always there, supporting her, encouraging her, reassuring her, comforting her…. he was just there, asking nothing, making no demands, but somehow making his presence all the more felt. And now all that seemed to be changing….She got up and paced about the room. Had she done something? Maybe it was that she had done nothing…Suddenly she was furious. She flung his pillow and sheet onto the sofa. "What does he want? My thanks?!" she fumed out loud…But she felt the unfairness of it at once…He never asked for her thanks…he never asked for anything. How on earth was she supposed to know what was bothering him if he didn't tell her? But when had she ever asked? It suddenly struck her like a bolt of lightning how unfair she had been….when had she ever asked him what he was thinking? It was always her…her family, her problems, her issues….When had she even tried to find out about him? What were his hopes? his dreams? She was so full of herself that it had never occurred to her to think of him as a human being…
Distraught and exhausted, she sank onto the sofa and pulling his sheet about her, she finally fell asleep.
Kumkum Bhagya
Tu Dhadkan Main Dil
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
