Bheege KB ke dekhne vale, Bhang barse ... (to the tune of 'rung barse, bheege chunnur vaali')
After which, the writing team set down to penning and filming 1.5 hours of pure, unadulterated mayhem ...
You're mah love ... you're mah love ... oh jaane-jaan you're mah love (now that's going to play in my head all day long like the annoying buzz of a fly unable to sit still!!)
It's possible that this is supposed to be a parody of every bad Hindi movie that's ever been made (it's probably easier to count the good ones I should think) ...
So lemme see ... now that I'm comfortably ensconced here in front of my computer ... where should we begin?!
So Abhi is still there ... riding that red mo'bike into the festivities ... but did you catch how his green sneakers had been replaced by the white jutties (and honest to goodness with black socks)?! He must have taken a few minutes on the way down to grab the pair out of his pocket and put 'em on ... it's no groom's wish to be pilloried and made to be the laughing stock of the town 😆 ... at least our footwear must be in keeping with the sentiment of the occasion! 🤣
Then he gets head-butted and thrashed with such force and intensity ... but not a mark on his body ... although, yesterday the makeup team made sure that there was a shred of authenticity ... go back and take a look ... part 4 ... he's in his Popeye T-shirt, calling Simi with promises of showing up like a bad penny ... and what was at the bottom of his lip? Why ... a bruise!!! From the thrashing he got yesterday ... but after a warm shower he's fully recovered ... most everyone else would have been laid up in the hospital in at least a coma if not entirely dead!!! 😲
Say ... does Nakul ever shave?! Why does he have that unkempt unwashed look about him?!! Daadi Amma googoo eyed at the racket! Imagine that!! Isn't every Indian wedding utter chaos?!! So, there he is ... our Abhi ... his skull smashing imminent with Nakul's nod of approval - 'say Maassstaa, is OK to crack his skull? I mean ... the powleese that is all standin' around been warned to keep their baton wieldin' hands by their sides ... right?!' - and who should come dancin' in?!! Why, it's Bhalla!! Bhalla!!! I had to take a third look ... Bhalla?!!! How did he get invited?!! And knew beforehand that our man was going to be having his brains on display soon, so better descend upon them with the bhangra team in tow!!! 'Oye! Tu kya sochta tha? Main tera dushman hoon?!! Oye!! O chul bhai ... nikalo upni jhooti-mooti talvaren aur pudd jayo in pur!' But the beat of the drums was so infectious, even the Dagar minions begin stomping their feet and swaying to the rhythm!! 'Hulle hullare, hulle, hulle, hulle!'
'Abbe O' abhi ke bucchhe!!, Tu thair ... main teri khubber leta hoon!! Ruk bacchu, pehle pagdi utarne de, phir aaja maidaan mein ... meri tulvaar pushton ki hai ... tumhare dholak peetne valon ki tarah nukli nahin ... tera to ub keema banega' ... Tain tudaaaiin, taidainn taidainn taidainn ... our hero thrown here, tossed there, hurtled thru the air, over table and chair dishoom, dhadaam, dhishoom ... and then ... brings that villainous Dagar to a screeching halt by holding tight onto the razor sharp long dagger ... blood all over (it couldn't have been that sharp 'cause looks like it spared every vein and artery in his hand, just got some superficial capillaries) ... anyhoo enough blood to come in handy to consummate the wedding rites initiated ... what was it? Was that only last week?!! Then screeches in Momma T!!! Enough already!!! Whazzahellgoinon?!!! Every Lallu Panju been hacking away at mah baby boy!!! Stop IT!!! I DEMAND IT!!! 🤣
'Hawww ... hayyee?!! Dekha aapne ... yeh kya ho raha hai bhai?!! Kanhin ye koi rivaaj to nahin ho jaye ga? Ghode, Haathi ulug, ub to Shaadion mein Ladai-Jhugda kurvaana padhega!!! Gundon ka daam budh jayega ... hai hai ... ghoor kalyug!!' 😆
Oh Simi!! Did you see the gleam in her eyes when she realized that Abhi had made his grand entrance to carry her off on the stolen bike (how many horse-power you suppose?) ... you're mah love ... you're mah love ... oh jaane jaan you're mah love ... we were meant for each other!! Oh yeah!! Aw shucks!! I was about to commit bigamy!!! Oh mah love ... thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 👏
'You wretch!!! You've made us the butt of all jokes in KB!!! 'Twas all the paani in my doodh that is the cause ... and there wasn't even a doodh vala involved' ... Uh ... Mommy Dearest ... are you sure you wanna go down that path?! 'Everyone's invited to this first born's funeral tomorrow ... wake right after ... refreshments will be served' ... 😕
You're mah love ... you're mah love ... oh Jaane-Jaan, you're mah love!!! 😉
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