How bad is it to be selfish?

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karandel_2008

@karandel_2008

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

With some discussion going on in certain topics, old and new, it always makes me wonder if being selfish is bad or good? As a person, as a family or as a country, etc.

I asked one of my friend sometime ago and one line answer that she gave to me seemed to be good. I will post that later.

Moreover, what about being selfless? isn't it also a bad thing sometimes?

Please share your views.

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Frequent Posters

Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Everybody selfish in this world even love also selfish then why should you/me/we be worried about selfishness...😃

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karandel_2008

@karandel_2008

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: Believe
Everybody selfish in this world even love also selfish then why should you/me/we be worried about selfishness...😃

Some people say that love is not selfish. Lets hear your views on "why love is selfish?"

Edited by karandel_2008 - 15 years ago

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: karandel_2008

Some people say that love is not selfish. Lets hear your views on "why love is selfish?"

Nobody bothers that a human who cannot love himself cannot love anybody else either...learning to love oneself is not difficult, it is natural. If u/me have been able to do something which is unnatural, if u/me have learned how to love others without loving yourself, do you think if you hate yourself you can find someone who is going to love you? Try and experiment it...reaserch on it...😊

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 15 years ago

Selfish is an abomination.

Wait was it selfish or shellfish?

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Gunjan

@gumsum

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

How do you define selfishness? If you desire something for yourself which is not affecting others, would you still call it selfish? If you desire something for others being their well-wisher, is it being selfless or being selfish?

I guess unless you define how you perceive one to be selfish and one not to be, it is hard to answer your question pecisely.

But going by the prevalent world view of selfishness and benevolency, I would say that even people who live for others are selfish because seeing others happy make them feel worthy. Everyone wants to be happy, some at the cost of themselves, some at the cost of others so everyone in this world is selfish.

Selfless is the person who doesn't demand anything, not even happiness and such creatures are hard to find.

editing (forgot to mention if being selfish is good or not)

Being selfish or not largely depends on what you desire in your life, if you desire for yourself or for others so your priorities in your life should dictate which road you should take. I am personally of the belief that its ok to be selfish as long as you are socially responsible,

Edited by gumsum - 15 years ago

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karandel_2008

@karandel_2008

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: Believe
Nobody bothers that a human who cannot love himself cannot love anybody else either...learning to love oneself is not difficult, it is natural.

yes you may say that being selfish is natural. But is it good to keep this selfish instinct or should we learn about some selfless behavior?

If u/me have been able to do something which is unnatural, if u/me have learned how to love others without loving yourself, do you think if you hate yourself you can find someone who is going to love you?

will answer this question later.

Try and experiment it...reaserch on it...😊
Lol if you are talking about the similar word "research" that I used in other thread while discussing with you. Then I meant it to be a simple research . As simple as finding out the correct meaning from reliable sources.

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karandel_2008

@karandel_2008

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
Selfish is an abomination.

Wait was it selfish or shellfish?

yup it should be shellfish because I, sure, don't want to end up in someone's stomach by being a shellfish. As a shellfish, I would have already spent considerable time inside a shell.

Edited by karandel_2008 - 15 years ago

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karandel_2008

@karandel_2008

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: gumsum
How do you define selfishness? If you desire something for yourself which is not affecting others, would you still call it selfish? If you desire something for others being their well-wisher, is it being selfless or being selfish?

Lets see the definition from Wikipedia:

"Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others."

Also as Frans de waal says "Selfishness implies the intention to serve oneself, hence knowledge of what one stands to gain from a particular behavior"

My Comments later on the rest of your points.

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Ajnabee

@*Woh Ajnabee*

Stunner

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

To me, being selfish entails putting yourself, and your needs before everyone else's. Being selfish is a part of human nature, sometimes we can't help it. I think maintaining balance in one's life is the key - as long as your needs are not hurting others or effecting them in any way, then its fine to be selfish. The minute you are hurting others in order to get what you want/need, it transforms into greedy and immorality.

Likewise, being selfless at all times is also not a good thing. I honestly believe that in life, if you want something, you have to go and get it because no one will come and hand it to you or award you for being a good person.

As far as love goes, we've had this discussion before, I think love is putting someone else and their needs before yourself, and that is the complete opposite of selfishness, in my books, so how can love be selfish?