SanRaj Moments We wish For (Updated pg 49) - Page 21

Rakhie dear, hope you get some rest sometime soon. No thanks needed dear, we all appreciate your writing so much, especially during this boring track. Hope CVs take a peak here and change their course of direction, but I doubt it

So imagine that Santu and DM are having a heart-to-heart of sorts. She is telling him that whilst she understands his reasons for repealing her decision, she feels bad that he put her in such a position for no reason. DM as usual shoos away her worries. But Santu for once moves forward with the convo and decides to let DM know how hurt she feels. Assume that we have chanced upon this convo in the middle.

Santu - Sometimes I feel as if you don't understand me at all malik. That you're not close to me.

DM looking exasperated.

DM - What do you mean huh? Off course I understand you. main teri bahut kareeb hoon. How much closer shall I be huh?

Santu looks at him with sad eyes.

Santu - Kya aap ko meri dil ki dadhkan sunaiy dethe hain? If you can't hear it beating. You aren't close enough malik.

DM looks at her for a moment. Taken aback by her frankness. For a minute he is uncomfortable with the possible truth of her words. Damn it. What did she want from him?

DM - What do you want from me? You wanted me to accept you as my wife I did. You wanted a place in this house, in my life I gave it to you. So now why all this talk?

Santu shook her head.

Santu - Nahi malik. I wanted all these things from you. Do you understand from you. For you to give me these things from your heart. For you to want these things for me yourself. But perhaps I was wrong to want. Perhaps you gave me all this because you felt you had to, not because you really thought I deserved them.

DM rubbed his hands over his face. Santu continued.

Santu - I know you care for me a lot malik. But I don't know if you love me. Sometimes |I think that you do, but then I never know for sure how you feel about me. Perhaps that is the most I can hope for. Perhaps you don't have it in you to love me.

DM listened without saying. Was what she said true? Did he only care for her, only have affection for her? No, no that's not true. He did love her. He did. He just didn't know how to... His thoughts trailed off as Santu's voice cut into them.

Santu - Your heart still belongs to badi malkin. Aapko pata hain malik, that I have never seen her as my competition. I have always known that she would be the most loved, the most wanted and hold the highest position in this house and in your heart. I have never minded that. I have never see her as my competition. But you all have always pitched us against each other. She is the standard by which I am measured, and no matter what I do I will always fall short. Even that is fine with me. I can tolerate anything but your indifference. All I ever wanted was you, but I don't think I really have you. Because to have you seems to be conditional, and I always seem to end up breaking those conditions in some way or another.

So saying Santu leaves a ruffled, but thoughtful DM to ponder alone in the room.

I only wrote this because I'm hating the idea of what's happened last week and what'll happen in the coming weeks. I want Santu to have this convo, but I know I'm asking for the impossible. So as usual I'll just have to contend with my imagination.

Now I bid you good night (or rather good morning) as I'm completely shattered and very 🥱

CV's learn something from IF

I was actually thinking it could be a precursor to Chalia's U Me and Hum scene.