Who is primarily responsible for Jyoti's...

In today's episode, Jyoti was tormented by her past decisions not to eventually come clean before Pankaj, and discussed this w/ Sudha as well. From my update below:
[quote=Vrisha]Back at the Vashist mansion, Jyoti is in bed w/ Pankaj, unable to sleep due to the day's events. She recalls the crappy advice she got from Kalpana 😡😡😡 to not tell Pankaj about Brij, and how she protested that if she didn't tell him, that would be deceptive on her part, and she would be the one responsible. She recalls Kalpana's argument that if he knew it, he'd think that he was her 2nd choice, and that it was better that he never got to know about it. While recalling Kalpana's advice, Jyoti now regrets having followed it. Had she been honest w/ Pankaj, she wouldn't have had to fake her relationships, and hide the fact that Sushma was her sister, and that it was very difficult to live w/ this burden.

She got up and went to the balcony. Sudha joined her there, and asked her why she was still awake. Jyoti told her that w/ the burden she was carrying, it was impossible to sleep. She didn't feel good, and had she discussed all this w/ Pankaj b4 marriage, then she wouldn't be guilty of betraying him. She notes that she's not only guilty b4 Pankaj, but b4 Sushma as well. Sudha disagrees, and points out that at that time, the situation was very different, and that she had come together w/ Pankaj after breaking all her relationships w/ her family. She asked Jyoti that even if she had confessed, what would she have told him, and about whom? [/quote]
However, as we all know, the decision to keep this from Pankaj was not purely hers:

1. The night b4 her wedding, she wanted to tell Pankaj about Brij, but Kalpana disuaded her
2. When she told Deepu about it, the entire family (except Padma) supported her decision to hide this from the Vashists
3. When Uday was lured out of the house after Sushma's return using Sudha as bait, Jyoti was upset @ having to conceal this from such loving in-laws, but KK told her that the truth would do more damage than good
4. After hearing about Sushma's humiliation from Bhairavi & Minal, Jyoti offered to tell all, but Sushma threatened to kill herself if Jyoti went ahead

Aside from this, while Jyoti might have confessed to Pankaj in a more conducive environment, fact remains that things were bad enough under CM that she determined that if she did fess up, that would give CM what she needed to end her marriage. In fact, that was probably what Sudha thought as well - she too couldn't be happy @ this being concealed from Uday.

Then there is Brij himself - his behavior was so disgusting that anybody would be embarrased to concede that they made such a huge error of judgement in hooking up w/ him in the past.

So do you consider any of the above as primarily responsible for Jyoti's ill-advised decision to conceal things from Pankaj? Or do you think the buck stops w/ Jyoti, and that had she overruled them and come clean, either the marriage to Pankaj may not have happened, or if it did, she'd have nothing to fear today from even CM, who'd have known about this and other family baggage. There's also the fact that the first time that Sachin asked her about her family, she told him that she had 1 sister, rather than 2, and that was after KK had disowned Sushma. In this case, it wasn't anyone else who asked Jyoti to lie, although one could make the argument that she was respecting KK's decision.

Bottom line - ultimately, who do you hold responsible for Jyoti's decision?

a bit of everything

kalpana..jyoti wanted to tell pankaj the truth before marrige but she stopped her..

Had KK never disowned Sushma, Jyoti would never have told Pankaj that she has only 1 sister, rather than 2, and at least that aspect would never have been a secret. Kalpana is responsible for Jyoti witholding Brij from Pankaj, but witholding Sushma from Pankaj was Jyoti's own decision, partly driven by KK stating that Sushma wasn't his daughter.