ARRANGED MARRIAGES

Hello Friends
After watching many Ekta serials, i wanted to start a topic on arranged marriages, since most of ekta serials revolves around it, i personally agree with arranged marriages ( since i am in one myself). we tend to criticize ekta kapoor, for having the most unrealistic serials, but after watching so many of her daily soaps i have come to realize that she to is pro arranged marriages. the reason i believe arranged marriages tend to work is because both parties have low expectation for each other, and in most cases both parties create love between each other, i personally strictly believe that Love does not just HAPPEN at first or second sight, but instead it must be created between 2 people and that to when their relationship has a strong foundation/base such as marriage, after witnessing a few Love marriages i have come to believe that love marriages seem bright and colorful in the start but because of high expectation of both parties that color seems to fade, also please note that i am not insisting that all love or arranged marriages end up the same, but going by statistics arranged marriages do work better , in conclusion i feel that at some point Ekta kapoor serials
does have a impact on todays society, and also shows some of our cultural truth.
Please do share your thoughts on this post, and express your beliefs on arraigned marriages 😃

I totally agree with you roma.... i have expressed similar views about Ektaa and arranged marriages in another thread.... like you said arranged marriages have less expectations .... there is always happening unexpected.....love that happen gradually will have a strong base of trust for each other and it will be difficult to move.... Sanraj love is the same...they gradually fell in love after knowing eachothe and accepting eachothers nature.....their love will be/is eternal..........

Yes, I too beleive that arranged marriages have better chances of succeeding than love marriages....the divorce rate in the west where most marriages are love marriages is a testimony to that. And I also agree it's because you don't really know the person too well, so you are mentally prepared to accept them as they are and making compromises on the way when things don't really go your way...you enter into it knowing that the marriage is going to require work and you work hard to ensure it is successful. Whereas in love marriages people think they know everything about the other person, so when they find out something new about them, it comes as a surprise and in most cases people are not prepared to accept it....also there are too many expectations and when they don't come true, it leads to disillusionment...plus they enter a marriage thinking it is going to be easy since they know the other person well but no marriage is easy and all marriages require constant work. Believe me...I have seen too many couples who had years of courtship but their marriages didn't even survive a year...

As for Ekta's reason for showing arranged marriages or marriages of conveniences....I think thats because they are more interesting. If a couple fall in love and get married after crossing some obstacles, whats interesting in that unless you want to show the fights after marriage...lol. But showing love develop between couples who do not know each other or might not even want to be with each other, so much more interesting...

I am by no means an expert on Ekta's serials.....have only watched one before Bandini and in that show too, the marriage was a forced one....the guy forced the girl to marry him for revenge....but thankfully there was no divorce, although they did come pretty close before the guy realized his mistake, no extra-marital affairs or illegitimate kids for the lead pair although the girl's father had both (lol!) but they did get married multiple times even though they were already married and for the love of God I don't know why....maybe just because Ekta likes weddings...lol....maybe around this time Ekta decided not to have the lead pair go through divorces and EMAs and illegitimate kids and multiple marriages, plus the show wrapped up in a couple of years, so she probably did not have to resort to such gimmicks....hopefully Bandini will be different as it has been so far.

Yeah....DM did have a very successful love marriage and now he is going to have a very successful arranged marriage....well actually a marriage that started of as a convenience.....he definitely is one very lucky guy :)

Originally posted by: sg08

Yes, I too beleive that arranged marriages have better chances of succeeding than love marriages....the divorce rate in the west where most marriages are love marriages is a testimony to that. And I also agree it's because you don't really know the person too well, so you are mentally prepared to accept them as they are and making compromises on the way when things don't really go your way...you enter into it knowing that the marriage is going to require work and you work hard to ensure it is successful. Whereas in love marriages people think they know everything about the other person, so when they find out something new about them, it comes as a surprise and in most cases people are not prepared to accept it....also there are too many expectations and when they don't come true, it leads to disillusionment...plus they enter a marriage thinking it is going to be easy since they know the other person well but no marriage is easy and all marriages require constant work. Believe me...I have seen too many couples who had years of courtship but their marriages didn't even survive a year...<br><br>As for Ekta's reason for showing arranged marriages or marriages of conveniences....I think thats because they are more interesting. If a couple fall in love and get married after crossing some obstacles, whats interesting in that unless you want to show the fights after marriage...lol. But showing love develop between couples who do not know each other or might not even want to be with each other, so much more interesting...<br>

First of all thank you all for adding your thoughts.

and i completely agree with you, that when a person agrees with arranged marriages, your mind is 100% ready to accept change, surprises, up/downs etc. my marriage was completely arranged my mother in law saw me at a funeral, and refereed me to her son, she ( my husband), followed me to school a couple of times, they came to our house with proposal in mind, and after a few visits ( and investigation form my parents), they had us engaged, and after our engagement we first went out, and discussed our life ahead of us back the i was 18 after 3 successful years were still together, i have a daughter who is 2 years old. and like SG08 said both of us were mentally prepared for a rocky life, but since we were our lives went smooth. and inshallah will continue to.

and as for ekta serials, well the only thing i love about it is the fact that she gets two people married who are in the beginning completely opposite one another, yet after some time passes, these people find it hard to live with out one another.

the big M word

Just because a marriage doesn't end in divorce doesn't necessarily mean it's a successful marriage, doesn't mean the couple is happy and fulfilled. This may be a generalisation but Western societies tend to be less judgemental, believes in minding its own business and recognises people should be free to pursue happiness as they choose. All of these things probably makes it easier to get out of a bad marriage. My parents come from a generation where some people had aranged marriages and some had love marriages but most people of that generation didn't believe in divorce. As a result some marriages are happy and some are stuck in miserable marriages but whether it was an arranged marriage or not doesn't really play a factor and it's difficult to say which marriage started that way. I come from a generation where arranged marriages are almost unthinkable because first of all most parents would not arrange their children's marriage. They don't believe in making decisions for their children, that their children will have to live with, even long after the parents are dead and gone. I think it's near impossible to say which is a more successful type of marriage, you have to look at the broader society in which these marriages take place.

Hi,