Posted:
Another one shot! 😃 😃 this one's kinda sad...sorry folks it has been done on a whim and i felt like doing it since i was listening to this song called 'Tere bin' from bhaagam bhag, i've been in love with this song since a long time, but today i guess mera pyaar kuchh zyaada hi bad gaya lol.
*sorry about the crappy title.
Together, in spirit.
I look at her across the table. She's avoiding my strong gaze by pretending to be engaged in an animated conversation with my wife. But her brief glances do not escape me. Glances full of desperate requests that I look away. I try to do so, yet I simply cannot shift my focus from her face. Her beautiful face that never fails to amaze me. She is the most beauitful woman I have met in my life, but the real strength of her beauty lies in her eyes. They're a dark shade of black, infused with a tint of a light shade of green.
They speak a thousand words, loud and clear, without her having to utter a single word. They reflect sadness, happiness, dissappointment, anger, faith, kindness...love. But something has changed. Her eyes twinkled when she smiled. Until now, until she had been married to my friend and colleague, Rahul Garewal. They no longer twinkled when she smiled.
My wife excuses herself from her, probably to go the washroom. She instantly becomes uncomfortable to know that her armour had dissappeared for sometime. I continue to stare at her with the same longing in my eyes, my heart wanting nothing more than to walk across the room and embrace her. She is fidgeting with her fingers, her gaze going everywhere but towards me. I can't help but smile at her uncomfortable posture, a smile induced by a memory I still cherish. She had not lost her habit of becoming anxious when in an awkward situation. I hadn't even got the time to tell her that she actually looked cute like that.
Her fluctuating gaze finally finds mine, tired of wandering to places it did not want to go. It locks itself with mine, and the world stops. I stare into a pair of orbs that hold so much emotion that it overwhelms me. For a fleeting moment I feel as though she's mine, and that moment was worth my life. The moment is over, and the feeling of helplessness returns. I'm still able to read her like an open book, shimmering light tears in her eyes do not escape me. Those tears contain a silent plea that I forget her. We had lost our chance.
I was vaguely aware of Rahul calling out my name, but paid no heed to it when all I wanted to do was sit there for my entire lifetime and look at her. He tapped my shoulders and I was finally broken out of my reverie. I'm caught off-guard for a moment because as soon as our eye-lock broke, I was pulled back into the real world. I do not let my surprise show on my face and it takes only a second for me to fake another one of my ever-charming smiles. Needless to say, this transition does not go unnoticed by her. She can read me like a book too.
She quickly composes her herself and wipes away the tears that had involuntarily rolled down her cheeks while Rahul is still looking at me.
"Are you ok ?" his voice sounds odd and unfamiliar, as if he belonged to another world.
I find my voice and manage to utter, "Yeah...yeah..I'm fine, thanks." with a small nodd. He seems convinced as a smile forms on his lips, "I thought you were falling for my wife" he says with a teasing voice.
He had no idea how right he was. Before I can help myself, a half smile smile makes its way to my lips at the irony of the situation. I wish I could proclaim that he was right infront of the whole world. He continued, "Aakhir biwi kiski hai ?" and pulled his collar as a gesture to show that he was proud to have her as his wife.
I give him a customary, calculated & well-practiced grin, "Kya yaar Rahul..tu bhi na.." he laughs at me and says, "Arre I was only joking..."
Ridhima sat staring at our light-hearted banter. She joins in by giving her well-practiced grin, I must say it was quite convincing, probably better than mine, "You guys are too much.."
Suddenly, Anjali enters the room and walks towards us, "Guys...guys, I don't want to say this but we have to leave now.." then she turns towards me, "Armaan, I just got a call from the hospital...we both need to attend an emergency case right now.."
I nod at her, feeling nothing. Probably a little relieved to know that I could finally move out of her immediate vicinity. It was extremely painful to stand this close to her and not be able to hold her, tell her how much I loved her. Although I would give anything to be able to stare at her forever, I could not be selfless enough to see her being called 'biwi' by someone else. It stabbed my heart like a thousand knives being thrusted into my chest simultanouesly.
We slowly walk towards the door, Rahul and Ridhima trailing only slightly behind. When we had reached the door he said, "Thanks for coming over for dinner guys..it was a really pleasant evening", with a huge smile plastered on his face. Anjali smiles back at him, "Same here Rahul...we had a great evening".
I say a formal goodbye to her, moving only slightly close to give her a small hug. Her skin comes in contact with mine and I never want to let go. I can feel her longing through her skin. It diffuses into mine and I feel a sudden urge to whisk her away at that moment. This moment ends too. And I move away from her again.
As I'm walking outside, probably symbolic of a final goodbye, an indication that we had truly lost, I turn around for a last glance. She is looking at me too, with eyes full of nothing but love. I suddenly feel light hearted to know that the woman I love more than life still loves me, and even though she could be mine as per the civil institution known as marriage, I know our souls are connected. We're together no matter where we are. We are beginning to accept the compromise life has made for us, moulding ourselves in a way that life becomes less painful.
As I turn around and walk towards my car with my wife, I know the only thing that will never get moulded to suit the situation is the love we share. And always will.
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Sad..i know :( but i guess this idea popped into my mind and I couldn't help but write it down...hope you all liked it!
this idea has been ENTIRELY inspired from a cup of strong coffee and this song -
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fewuhQ5kxPM[/YOUTUBE]
I'm in love with it 😃
P.S - I know it sounds silly but I love the red dress in the song =P
please comment!
Love
Neeta 😳
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