~Rinki~ thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 16 years ago
#1

Hey Guys! This is my first try at a kids shot. Suddenly had a urge to write something short and about the kids and the parents, so i came up with "Kiddie Chronicles" And this was the first shot in that folder. 😆 In my opinion i totally effed it up. But read and temme what you think..😳

=||=

Santa Claus

Chahat looked around the room at her cousins and tilted her head to the side innocently, her big brown eyes glinting with curiosity. The pigtails her mom had done this morning bounced as she stood up straight. Her older cousins, Ketan and Tannu, watched her warily. They didn't want her to do something that would end up with them getting in trouble.

"Guys, where does Santa Claus come from?" she asked, putting her tiny hands at her waist and raising her eyebrow making Gungun flinch, it reminded her of the angry pose her Mommy pulled when she would do something wrong.

"Erm, his house?" Gungun whispered softly, blinking as her cousins looked at her. She shrugged and went back to her drawing. Chahat smiled at her before looking at her other cousins.

"North Pole" Tannu answered smacking her gum, writing in her notebook.

Chahat stared at her and rolled her eyes before turning to the only boy in the room, Ketan. He stared at her confused before nodding his head with a smile, realizing what she wanted. He opened his mouth to speak when three voices came from downstairs in sync "We're home". The kids all got up excitedly and ran down the stairs, avoiding the hit that would have sent Lalit rolling down the stairs.

He held onto the railing, one hand pressed to his chest, his eyes closed tightly as he breathed deeply. When the kids all made it down the steps, he sighed relieved. A hand came and rested on his shoulder, making him screech and turn around only to come face to face with Kulraj watching him with a smirk. He huffed and walked quickly to his room, muttering about how everyone was out to give him a heart attack and send him to an early death.

Downstairs, Chahat ran straight into Prem's arms, yelling "Papa" happily as he catches her with a laugh. Gungun skipped over to Preet who patted her cheek and pulled her up in his arms, giving her a kiss on the forehead as she whispered "Daddy" in his ear, lying her head down on his broad shoulder. Ketan and Tannu walked with more calm faces and stood with Harman patting their heads and giving them chocolates. They took it happily and hugged their uncle with a grin.

The three men led the kids into the family room, and left them in front of the television while they freshened up quickly. A while later when they were eating, the men that is, Chahat brought forth the question that she had asked her cousins before. She walked over to her father and stood next to his seated frame and pulled on his sleeve.

Prem turned his eyes away from his brothers and laid them on a pouting Chahat, her eyes blinking at him slowly. He resisted the urge to go "aww" and pinch her cheeks and raised his brows at her instead. Harman and Preet watched curiously as she bobbed from right to left before crossing her arms and tapping her chin, her tiny face screwed in a thinking expression. The men hid their smiles, knowing she might take it as offensive and waited. They didn't have to wait for long.

"Where does Santa Claus come from?" she asked with a soft smile.

"Simple, North Pole, where else?" Preet answered, taking a sip of his water. She stared at him and shook her head.

"No! Where does he come from? The door or the chimney?" she rephrased her question.

Preet narrowed his eyes at his niece.

"The chimney" Prem answered, patting her head and turning back to his plate.

"How does he fit through it?" causing him to turn around and stare at her.

"Erm…" the three men said, looking at one another with confused expressions.

"Magic" Harman finally said with a proud grin, his brothers looked at him and nodded, voicing their agreement.

"Who does the magic?" Gungun asked walking closer with her head tilted curiously. She loved everything about magic and fairytales. It was her weakness.

"He does"

"He does"

"The reindeers"

Three replies at the same time, everyone turned to stare at Preet who had answered with the reindeers and shook their heads at his shrug.

Heer walked in through the kitchen with Meher, both laughing at the men and their confused expressions.

"Arre bacha log, who else? Mrs. Santa Claus does, after all, women are better" Meher answered, smirking at Preet who stuck out his tongue at her.

Chahat nodded her head thoughtfully, smiling happily before taking Gungun's hand and pulling her up the stairs to play hide and seek.

=||=

So Comments or Like button anyone? 😆

- Rinki

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kimmu thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
#2
Cutee..

*reserved*

Okay, that was just SOO totally adorable. I loved Chaahat in it, she was all the bossy but cute kind of kid. And you still had that essence of 'wanna be white chick' in Tannu. (We should totally make a phrase for that too. Like WiiWiiC. Don't ask, I'm bored. 🤣) I totally loved the shot. You managed to describe all the kids characters, in such a short, sweet, simple shot. Awesome job.

And you already knw that Preet made me crack up with "The reindeers" part. What was he thinking? And you know what, Gunjan's love for fairys is making sense now. His father is so creative, and imaginative, how couldn't she have an imagination like his? 🤣

I still can't believe you actually had a lil Meet scene. *sniffs* I'm so proud of you. 😆

kimz
Edited by kimmu - 16 years ago
indiandoll89 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
#3
you did not eff it up! 😔 Anyways mine! 😃

*edited*

You know I loved this whole idea! 😃😳 This whole kids asking random questions is just adorable! 😃😳 I'm not very commenty right now so I'll say this much as well, the last line from Meher was fab too!😉😆😆

Love you,

Meera😳

I want more! 😃
Edited by indiandoll89 - 16 years ago
meiskan thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#4
Aww so cute...😊 I liked it! The good old santa claus days.... 😆 nicely written anywho ! 😊
Anhdara13 thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 16 years ago
#5
'The reindeer.' *cracks up* Only Preet.

Ahh, that was too cute.

Love,
Radz

420366 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#6
OMG! Rinki! That was wonderful! And hilarious! And delightful! I loved it!
Be back!
Love:-Nonee
P.S. Kiddie Chronicles!!!! Awesomeness!!!

Edit:
Rinki, I absolutely adore the way you write. I love your attention to detail and the way you describe your characters, making them so lovable, you feel like reaching into your tale, pulling them out and hugging them tight.

I love the way you described Chahat, tilting her head to one side, her pig tails bouncing...So cute....I could see that!!!!

And the conversation between the kids is awesome....It's so easy to read and imagine the scene you've described, the kids sitting around, doing their stuff...adorable!!!!

And the answers, "Home!" "North Pole!" Cute!....😆 I wanna hug them all...

They avoided hitting their gramps...😆

I loved the way Chahat and Gungun rushed into prem and preet's arms! Awwww! And Harman giving the other two chocolates...

I loved the way Preet and Harman hide their smiles from Chahat...Awwww!!!!!

And I loved the way Chahat reframes her question when she realises Preet hasn't understood what she wants!!! Adorable kid*hugs her* And the way Preet narrows his eyes!!!!

And Chahat's determination to get to the bottom of this mystery....how does he fit through the chimney...Rinki, you're amazing!!!!!

And she's not giving up!!!! Good girl!!! Who does the magic?

And Preet cracks me up with his "Reindeers"😆 Preet*daydreams*

The ladies have the last word after all😆

Absolute Awesomeness! I loved every single word of this one.

Edited by noneeM - 16 years ago
Posted: 16 years ago
#7
Chahat rocks my socks. :) And Tannu - as WiiWiiC? Loving it! 😆 AND YOU HAD A TINY MEET SCENE?!?!?! The sun rose on the wrong side today. 😆 Awesome job!

--shabz
~Rinki~ thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 16 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: kimmu

Cutee..
Thank you. *twirls*
*reserved*
Whooot!
Okay, that was just SOO totally adorable. I loved Chaahat in it, she was all the bossy but cute kind of kid. And you still had that essence of 'wanna be white chick' in Tannu. (We should totally make a phrase for that too. Like WiiWiiC. Don't ask, I'm bored. 🤣) I totally loved the shot. You managed to describe all the kids characters, in such a short, sweet, simple shot. Awesome job.
Aww, thanks. Am glad u think so. Hehe i know. Oh hell yes. We need to show the bad case of WiiWiiC [like the name] i can tell. Yayyy! Hehe thanks.
And you already knw that Preet made me crack up with "The reindeers" part. What was he thinking? And you know what, Gunjan's love for fairys is making sense now. His father is so creative, and imaginative, how couldn't she have an imagination like his? 🤣
Yes yes i know. He wasn't thinking, duhh. Yep yep. Gets it from her dad. *shakes head*
I still can't believe you actually had a lil Meet scene. *sniffs* I'm so proud of you. 😆
Ewww...stop! It was not meant to be one. 😆 Ill go and change it if u dont hush.
kimz
Rinkz

~Rinki~ thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 16 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: indiandoll89

you did not eff it up! 😔 Anyways mine! 😃
Yay. Thanks Meerii
*edited*
Whoo!
You know I loved this whole idea! 😃😳 This whole kids asking random questions is just adorable! 😃😳 I'm not very commenty right now so I'll say this much as well, the last line from Meher was fab too!😉😆😆
Yes i know. Hehe its gonna be fun to write. Heh. Aww its okay, i knw ur comments already. =] Haha, had to add that line, its like the ultimate truth. 😆
Love you,
ily2
Meera😳
Rinki
I want more! 😃
I wrote another and me and kimz are working on more. Ahem..

~Rinki~ thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 16 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Anhdara13

'The reindeer.' *cracks up* Only Preet.
Ahem, yes yes. 😆
Ahh, that was too cute.
Thanks! Heh
Love,
Radz
Rinks



@ meiskan- Thanks. Glad u liked.

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