Is our culture unfair to women?

I (to the extreme annoyance of my mother) am a feminist and a liberal and when i view our culture i see oppression. IT isn't due to one religion because the subcontinent has tons of religions yet the oppression is the same for all women. All over the subcontinent women r treated unfairly first by their parents, then by their relatives and then by their in-laws. i mean when a girl is born her parents r happy but the joy is so much more when they have a son. If a woman had 6 daughters and 1 son she would love her son so much more and neglect her daughters and be so ashamed about the fact that she has 6daughters yet watch a woman have 6 sons and 1 daughter then she'll love her daughter more but she wont neglect her sons. She will walk around like she is this big-shot because she has 6 sons. In our society women are blamed if they dont have sons yet scientifically its the man who determines the gender of the baby. Then the women in our society have to be so careful of what they say what they do or how they behave because society will label them bad if they dont. If a man and a woman have relations the and woman gets pregnant then nobody bothers about the father and everybody is like what a bad girl to do this to her parents and their izzat and what about the guy's family tehy dont have any problems. If any of u saw lajja with manisha, mahima, rekha u can remember some of the sexism tehy showed in the movie. In our culture a woman is less than her husband she has to listen to him do what he wants and be good to him even if he isn't to her. It is a woman's job to make sure that she saves her home from ruin for her children but the man doesn't have to worry.In our culture all the responsibility for making the house a home rest on the woman. In our society women have to work harder because no matter the fact that they work outside the house they r the ones responsible for working inside the house as well. After the marriage a man can support his family with the money he makes but a woman can't support hers. A woman should take care of her husband's family and live with them and be nice to them and support them but he doesn't have to do that for her family. It just seems that after becoming educated all we have done is increase our own work. Now we work outside of the homes and then we come back and work inside the homes and we support our husband's family because he feels easier knowing that he has our money to fall back on so he supports his family as much as he can. Even now the concept of sharing responsibility is viewed with disdain and i just feel that we haven't made any progress we are still not good to our women. we are still very conservative we have just covered it up.

Originally posted by: mkzara

yes i know i am crazy.

No you aren't crazy !!😆 I love your passion , i was just like you at your age . I am far older than you but continue being a feminist. I personally had understanding parents and now a hubby . I've always lived by my feminist rules . ( Although i choose to do a few things Feminists would scorn at me .....but i do it out of love).
I've always been outspoken on such issues and have often done the opposite of what society thinks is right for women !!

I am glad to see a feminist in you !!😛 Just don't burn a bra !!😆

Originally posted by: indygirl

No you aren't crazy !!😆 I love your
passion , i was just like you at your age . ... ( Although i
choose to do a few things Feminists would scorn at me .....but i do it
out of love).
...
I am glad to see a feminist in you !!😛 Just don't burn a bra !!😆

First off Thanku for supporting me and dont worry i am a feminist of a different kind. i personally believe that women should be allowed to do what they want and if things such as working in the house or cooking for the people they love makes them happy then they should do it. my mom says she loves to cook for her family and she is a feminist not a radical one like me but still one. Feminism for me doesn't mean not working in the house or not cooking it just means the option to choose the kind of life u have. feminism just means that if i dont want to cook (which i dont)i dont have to. if i want to work then i can and if i dont i dont have to. feminism is just finally having a choice that i feel most women dont have.
P.S. dont worry wont burn my bra. i am also an environmentalist so ... 😉

No, it is wrong to say that women are treated unfairly all over the subcontinent. Go to North East India - see the tribal Khasis, Jayantias - the picture is opposite there. Here the women are given more respect than men. The women has the right to inherit the family property. The men don't get any share. A child is known by the mother's name, rather than his/her fathers. Women make all the decisions, most of the women are working. If a child is born of a Khasi father and non Khasi mother, he/she will be looked down as a non Khasi. However, if the mother is a Khasi, and the father is say a Punjabi, the child will be treated as a Khasi. In fact, the men go to live at their wives place after marriage.

Woman, i don't know. i'm a girl, i don't have much knowledge about all this. At times, people are unfair to woman, but most times it's all fair.
Woman should be allowed to do what they want

this is a very nice topic.
i agree with most of u here...
if i'm not mistaken,in the earlir times-that the vedic age an all women were treated very well...they were given the right 2 choose/decide and live life on their own terms....if u all remeber there was svayamvara and all-all this shows that woman was given her due respect..but over the ages,as man tried 2 dominate....woman kept quiet-i mean man didn't bcome dominant overnight-it wud have taken time...then.woman was all quiet-i think that was the biggest mistake-if we hadn't let man take over then....we wud not b here 2day..it's a fact that even 2day,women try not 2 back-answer their husbands or the man of the family...no matter how wrong they r....so unless.all women join hans and do something against this oppression..i don't c much happpening
but realisation of the same amongst women is a gud sign...hope this all ultimatelyleads 2 freedom as early as possible

Originally posted by: mkzara

I (to the extreme annoyance of my mother) am a feminist and a liberal and when i view our culture i see oppression. IT isn't due to one religion because the subcontinent has tons of religions yet the oppression is the same for all women. All over the subcontinent women r treated unfairly first by their parents, then by their relatives and then by their in-laws. i mean when a girl is born her parents r happy but the joy is so much more when they have a son. If a woman had 6 daughters and 1 son she would love her son so much more and neglect her daughters and be so ashamed about the fact that she has 6daughters yet watch a woman have 6 sons and 1 daughter then she'll love her daughter more but she wont neglect her sons. She will walk around like she is this big-shot because she has 6 sons. In our society women are blamed if they dont have sons yet scientifically its the man who determines the gender of the baby. Then the women in our society have to be so careful of what they say what they do or how they behave because society will label them bad if they dont. If a man and a woman have relations the and woman gets pregnant then nobody bothers about the father and everybody is like what a bad girl to do this to her parents and their izzat and what about the guy's family tehy dont have any problems. If any of u saw lajja with manisha, mahima, rekha u can remember some of the sexism tehy showed in the movie. In our culture a woman is less than her husband she has to listen to him do what he wants and be good to him even if he isn't to her. It is a woman's job to make sure that she saves her home from ruin for her children but the man doesn't have to worry.In our culture all the responsibility for making the house a home rest on the woman. In our society women have to work harder because no matter the fact that they work outside the house they r the ones responsible for working inside the house as well. After the marriage a man can support his family with the money he makes but a woman can't support hers. A woman should take care of her husband's family and live with them and be nice to them and support them but he doesn't have to do that for her family. It just seems that after becoming educated all we have done is increase our own work. Now we work outside of the homes and then we come back and work inside the homes and we support our husband's family because he feels easier knowing that he has our money to fall back on so he supports his family as much as he can. Even now the concept of sharing responsibility is viewed with disdain and i just feel that we haven't made any progress we are still not good to our women. we are still very conservative we have just covered it up.

I totally agree and believe the females are oppressed in our culture, which is not only sad but cruel at times especially in small towns and villages at least in India, I really do not know about the rest of the subcontinent.

In most of our Indian states like Punjab, the ratio of the male to females has come down drastically, so the cruelty beings from the womb of the mother itself and at times she is willingly or unwillingly party to this, people fail to understand the consequences of such acts will only boomerang on them.

Females are most of the times discriminated and certain undue expectations are made; survival for them in service is a Herculean tasks especially in small and private firms not only they are made to work hard if they reject the unwanted attention, they are made to feel inferior and an mere object of desire.

I would believe most of us are also a party to such state of affairs for we are more interested in our own small world and ignore such wrong doings most of the time, for it not personally beneficial to us.

I would like to compliment the author for at least raising the topic and doing his part of arresting this injustice which highly prevalent in our society.

Originally posted by: mad_cap

No, it is wrong to say that women are treated unfairly all over the subcontinent. Go to North East India - see the tribal Khasis, Jayantias - the picture is opposite there. Here the women are given more respect than men. The women has the right to inherit the family property. The men don't get any share. A child is known by the mother's name, rather than his/her fathers. Women make all the decisions, most of the women are working. If a child is born of a Khasi father and non Khasi mother, he/she will be looked down as a non Khasi. However, if the mother is a Khasi, and the father is say a Punjabi, the child will be treated as a Khasi. In fact, the men go to live at their wives place after marriage.

mad_cap we are talking about women in general , as in majority . How large is the Khasi & Jayanti tribe vs a vs the general population of women in the Asian subcontinent - be it India ,Pakistan,Afganistan,Iran,Saudi Arabia ,Nepal etc etc .

I too never faced any discrimination from my family .........but do i represent the general plight of women ??????

Originally posted by: Aparna_BD

mad_cap we are talking about women in general , as in majority . How large is the Khasi & Jayanti tribe vs a vs the general population of women in the Asian subcontinent - be it India ,Pakistan,Afganistan,Iran,Saudi Arabia ,Nepal etc etc .

I too never faced any discrimination from my family .........but do i represent the general plight of women ??????

i agree the women in general are discrminated, the statement of the authour may not have universal application, but in general the women are treated in unfair manner.

i know women all over the subcontinent aren't treated badly. i mean my parents listen more to me than my brother and there is no doubt in my mind that my mom's side of teh family loves me more. they even admit it. i am not prejudiced against but i know most women are yeah some lucky ones are not but most r. I was just saying that as a whole is our culture oppressive. even in general do we oppress our women or let them do what they want. i feel our society puts too many restrictions on women and asks them to be better than men without thinking they are equal to men. I mean if a girl and a guy do something the girl always gets more blame because it is her reputation that matters and that is ruined.