Lara Dutta-The Unachievabl Desire..Must Read...

Lara Dutta is a 5'8" beauty with a pretty yet sensual face, legs that look like they've been sculpted by Da Vinci and a body worthy of a Bond film. Yet, as she walks around Famous Studios in Mumbai in high heels and a dress that fits so snugly to her body it's like it were painted on, I am almost ashamed to fantasise about her. I feel like I haven't deserved it. Who am I, a pathetic, unshaven journalist, to even dream of being anywhere close to the legs of this elegant princess who makes posing in front of the camera look like the lost art of the Egyptians.

When I meet Lara in the changing room later, my nerves suddenly transform me into this snotty, annoying adolescent trying desperately to impress the prettiest girl in class. Lara is having none of it. She is a star, a perfect creature not meant to be exposed to the filth of the common male species; and if that's not unnerving enough, she seems pretty aware of it too. "Ordinary guys never have the guts to come up to me and ask me out because they feel like I belong to a different world," she coos, obviously referring to the world of immaculate beings. During the course of the interview, she pretty much puts me in my place as an 'ordinary' guy, refusing to laugh at my poor jokes, nonchalantly side-stepping any questions that might compromise her incorruptibility, and simply ignoring my pesky attempts to outwit her.
She starts off talking about her new film Billu Barber, which releases this month, in a sexy accent that sounds almost British. "I didn't decide to work in Billu Barber because it is a so called non-glamorous role, but more because I wanted to be a part of a really good film, even if I didn't have that big a role. Sometimes that's better than having a lot of screen time in a crap film." At this point I, for some godforsaken reason, feel the need to twist her words around and quiz her about whether her previous films were all crap. Rather than banishing me from her kingdom, she remains poised and elaborates on her statement. "Previously I have been quite selfish with selecting roles as I wanted to make sure I had a very large part, but this time I am more concerned with the quality of the story."
As we chat about her career and how she got into Bollywood, Lara is forthright and quite unapologetic about her choices. "I was a simple girl from Bangalore, who entered a larger-than-life world when I won Miss Universe. Frankly, when I came back, Bollywood was the only thing that could offer me the same kind of money, glitz and glamour." If you have looked beyond her striking sex appeal (and we don't blame you if you haven't; I only did because I had to do this interview), you might have noticed that Lara has made quite a mark as a comic actress with films such as No Entry, Masti, Bagham Bagh and Partner doing pretty well at the box office. "I'm quite proud to be known as a good comedian. I don't think Bollywood makes many deep films anyway, so I'd rather entertain than give people a headache with an action film."
Her matter of fact, unwavering mode of answering continues even as I bombard her with the most bizarre questions.
"What would you look for at a sperm bank, Lara?"
"Don't they all look the same?"
"Would you rather go out with a rich rapper, a chilled out reggae singer, or a rock star with a social cause?"
"Bono, the rock star singing about world peace, and still getting rich"
"When will the recession end?"
"It will get worse before it gets better."
"What do you want god to say to you at the Pearly Gates?"
"There you are at last."
"What's the capital of Finland?"
"Good Lord!"
As I marvel at her ability to make me look stupid without doing anything more than just sitting there, I start to realise just how far away I am from the entire purpose of this tete-a-tete — to find out what really turns Lara Dutta on. But as I fumble through questions about what she looks for in men, her relationships and the likes, getting honest yet somewhat unsatisfactory answers, it dawns on me that, perhaps, it's better that we don't unveil any skeletons this beauty has in her closet. Here's a girl who started modelling at 16, and has made a name for herself in the most unforgiving of industries on her own steam. Someone who has avoided being a part of any film faction and yet continues to sign big movies opposite the big names. So what if she's not telling us everything, she's Miss Universe goddammit! So sod off, and play in your own league.

The Lara Dutta Dating Guide

1. Lara is the youngest of three sisters, so her father raised her as the son he never had. She even played a man in her first play. So treat her like a tomboy; maybe take her rock climbing, horse riding or to your tree house.
2. Once a Services kid, always a Services kid. Growing up in an Air Force family, Lara has learned
to mind her Ps and Qs. Be polite, and for god's sake, don't make munching noises when you're
chewing your food.
3. Show some dedication, join the Air Force.
4. Don't go trying to get her tipsy. This leggy beauty doesn't drink. An orange juice and tonic water will suffice.
5. Lara loves going to the movies. Don't be cheesy and take her to one of her own. She also likes to put her dancing shoes on now and then.
6. Lara's favourite word is 'action', and she says that she gets turned on by the sound of a camera rolling. Time for your sex video tape fantasy?
7. Don't even think about it. "I'm half Punjabi, and I've broken guys' noses when they've tried to
get too cute," Lara warns.
8. Lara gets turned off by the sound of a drill. Try not to take her anyhere near a construction site on your first date.
9. Don't bother making small talk. She likes to get right down to talking politics, philosophy or religion on the first date. She wants to see how intelligent you are. Hey, she might even ask you what the capital of Finland is.
10. Don't be a pauper. When I asked Lara if she had been on a local train, she replied, "In London". So shell out a little on the limo. If you are intent on slumming it out, take her to eat gola at Chowpatty.
11. Lara says looks don't matter to her. Yippee! But she adds, "Though he shouldn't be butt ugly". Oops,
we're considering cosmetic surgery.
12. She's a vegetarian, so Steak House is probably a bad idea for a romantic dinner.
13. She loves her collar bones. Look up boys!
14. Like any star, Lara likes her space. She likes taking off with her two dogs to Goa, and probably won't tell you where she will be staying. Stalking will not be received well.
15. Be ready for a surprise elopement. Lara says that though she would love to get married in Paris or Goa, she's pretty sure it will happen on a crazy night in Vegas.