Keeping your mouth SHUT in certain situations..ok?

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Posted: 16 years ago

I recently went to a wedding... i just tagged along with one of my childhood friends, Zee.. the wedding was of a good friend of hers who had gone to college with us.. i only met her a few times as they were three years ahead of me..

When we reached the reception hall i see this group of guys at the dooor.. and a few them i had recognized cuz they were previous acquaintences..i had met them occasionally on various events through as we had common friends.. and lets just say it was better to keep your distance from them since i had seen them smoke weed and do some not so legal stuff.. So.. i just said hi to them and went in..

It turns out the one of those creeps was the Dulha.. .. my jaw just dropped and i told Zee i hope this is a love marriage.. this way atleast the bride would know of ths guy.. but it was an arranged marriage.. Anyways.. i didnt say anything just kept mum..

Should i have mentioned this to anyone..? It was such an awkward situation.. and Dulha was tensed too.. he kept on trying to talk to me.. but i just avoided him.. I still dont know if i did the right thing.. its been bothering me.. I just hope he changed.. but the last time i had met him was arnd four months agoo..

Is it ok to keeep ur mouth shut in these type of situations.. or should you tell the truth thinking on a moral tip..?

Mods.. If a similar topic is out there.. please feel free to close this..😛

ps. i kinda felt bad for the dulha .. he looked constipated throughtout the party.. i think my presence ruined his big night.. 🤔

Edited by Meena1 - 16 years ago

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Golden iron

@Golden iron

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Posted: 16 years ago

Meena dear,

Marriage is a bond between two people and specially in arrange marriage, lots of things are checked. Surely their parents must have done a reality check. yet some times things may be hidden. Since marriage has taken place , so makes no sense to dig out the previous stuff. What you may do is be in touch with your girlfriend time to time, making sure all is well. If she is happy and marriage is working out, then God bless them :)

If things look fishy then you may tell her to see if bail out is required.

Most cases, by the time guys mature, they get resposible. I am exceptional as was born responsible, loving, caring and mature 😉

So donto feel guilty. I am sure marriage will work out and your friend will be happy 😛

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66567

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Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: Golden iron

Meena dear,

Marriage is a bond between two people and specially in arrange marriage, lots of things are checked. Surely their parents must have done a reality check.yet some times things may be hidden. ..you'll surprised as to how many dont.. i've seen a few marriages break cuz some truths came out after the shaadi...Since marriage has taken place , so makes no sense to dig out the previous stuff. What you may do is be in touch with your girlfriend time to time, making sure all is well. If she is happy and marriage is working out, then God bless them :) ..yes.. i wished him best of him luck..and gave him that look that he better be a changed man..

If things look fishy then you may tell her to see if bail out is required.

Most cases, by the time guys mature, they get resposible. I am exceptional as was born responsible, loving, caring and mature 😉 ..yea.. hopefully but he's 29.. you'd figure guys mature in their mid 20's.. but he must be an case.. maybe the shaadi will straigten him up..

So donto feel guilty. I am sure marriage will work out and your friend will be happy 😛

Arre Loha jii..i agree with you totally.. hopefully he's a changed man since the last time i met him..but its hard to let go of your habits.. especially if they are addictive..

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Nupur

@Nupur9

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: Golden iron

Most cases, by the time guys mature, they get resposible. I am exceptional as was born responsible, loving, caring and mature 😉

So donto feel guilty. I am sure marriage will work out and your friend will be happy 😛

@ GI you forgot modesty......Modesty too...I see Modesty chalkoing.......😆😆😆

M btw I too think there is very little you could do presently until you want to be the new avataar of Shanti!

It's a tricky situation....you tell them and everyone ask how when where what and can you prove it types.......it's your word over his???

You don't say anything....and here you are in angst.....khayal nek hai but parinaam nahi!!!

Edited by Nupur9 - 16 years ago

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dunno

@Mindbender

Sparkler

Posted: 16 years ago

Well, actually it depends on the way a person normally behaves. I mean , if you always tend to speak out openly in all situations without waiting , or it all happens spontaneously, then most probably you'd have said that today also.
However, if you are not that kind of person , then it wouldn't change suddenly overnight..

However, what is right and what is wrong in this case, i am not quite sure

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_Angie_

@_Angie_

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

Depends on what U think wud B achieved by revealing the info U had at the shadi mandap. Wud the gal have the guts to cancel the marriage at that late stage ? If yes then may B its better to tell & let her decide . But if U know that the gal wud any way not hav the courage to take that step or that she wudnt take U seriously then its best to remain quiet.

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dunno

@Mindbender

Sparkler

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: angie.4u
Depends on what U think wud B achieved by revealing the info U had at the shadi mandap. Wud the gal have the guts to cancel the marriage at that late stage ? If yes then may B its better to tell & let her decide . But if U know that the gal wud any way not hav the courage to take that step or that she wudnt take U seriously then its best to remain quiet.

during these instances,
you can't really come to a conclusion regarding such decisions.
At least thats what happens mostly,
because your mind generally has reasons supporting both the contradictory decisions........

Edited by clodpolish - 16 years ago

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200467

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Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: Nupur9

It's a tricky situation....you tell them and everyone ask how when where what and can you prove it types.......it's your word over his???

arrey, leave all this and worry about what if they turn back and ask you --- kyoon ji...aap ko kaisey pata ladka badchalan hai!!!!😆 The manorma style and lalita pawar dialogue delivery when they ask this to you will surely make you wish dharti phat jay aur mein uss mein sama jaun😆

Seriously Meena, I don't know what one should do in such situations or what one could do without causing some major emotional damage. This is as tricky as it can ever get.

@ CP - even with my branded muh-phat pana, I'd be tongue tied most probly if I am out in any such situation. Had I seen the guy during engagement or some other pre-wedding ceremony, it'd have been a different matter. But seeing him for the very first time under the mandap --- naah. Even I'd be struggling for words there.

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200467

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Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: Golden iron

Most cases, by the time guys mature, they get resposible. I am exceptional as was born responsible, loving, caring and mature 😉

tum sarey paap pichhley janam mein ker chukey hogey tabhi is janam mein you were born this way😉😆

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dunno

@Mindbender

Sparkler

Posted: 16 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

@ CP - even with my branded muh-phat pana, I'd be tongue tied most probly if I am out in any such situation. Had I seen the guy during engagement or some other pre-wedding ceremony, it'd have been a different matter. But seeing him for the very first time under the mandap --- naah. Even I'd be struggling for words there.

Hmm
ok😊

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Keeping your mouth SHUT in certain situations..ok?

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