Severus Snape will never say

1.) "Pink is a lovely shade for my hair.....don't you think Ms. Granger?"
2.) "I think I shall clip my toenails!"
3.)" GO CHOSEN ONE!"
4.) "This class period will be donated to mourning the lost Marauders."
5.) "DETENTION FOR A WEEK MR. MALFOY!"
6.) " I suggest Mr. Weasley and MS. Granger be paired up today!"
7.)"Tiptoe, through the tulips with me!"
8.) "So far I can make my name say 'PEEVES RUN'...I'm, erm, still working on the other letters..."
9.) "And then I said to the Goblins 'NOT PICKLE! I said SICKLE!' hahahaha!"
10.) "Mr. Potter....your hair smells like freshly picked watermelons."

1.) "Loreal, because I'm worth it!"
2.) "Black is so overrated."
3.) "Ms. Granger, I'd love to see you in my sheets....I mean, in detention!"
4.) "Longbottom happens to be a brilliant boy."
5.) "Do you think pastels wash me out?"
6.) "I LOVE the Gryffindors. Aren't they just so brave?"
7.) "Potions....Who needs Potions?"
8.) "Voldemort is as scary as a bunny...talking about bunnies...I saw a cute one the other day.."
9.) "Do you think this makes my butt look big?"
10.) "Slytherins are just a bunch of know it alls."

1.) "Harry, doll, can you fetch me some lip liner when you go down to Hogsmeade?"
2.) "You silly goose!"
3.) "Do you think black is going to be the new black next year? Because I heard it was going to be orange! Maybe I should dye my hair orange for the sake of fashion!"
4.) "Did you see Laguna Beach last night? Stephen might be a total hunk but he's such a player!"
5.) "Mr. Malfoy, how come you're always so mean?"
6.) "Professor Dumbledore, I was wondering if we could change the school uniform and buy them from Macy's and buy some cute little Guess watches and Coach hats? All the Death Eaters would be sooooo jealous!"
7.) "Can I go to the piddly diddly department?"
8.) "Fabbity fab fab!"
9.) "Have you read the new Georgia Nicolson book? She goes to America! I wish I could go to America! I also wish I could go to Paris, it's just so romantic!"
10.) "Mr. Weasley- *twitch from Ron* can I have a hug?!"

Severus Snape will never say

1)I hate the dungeons. Brrr...... Time to build some windows in here.
2)I can teach you to brew fame and stop death and how to get Tom cruise to fall head over heels in love with you.
3)Malfoy, you and the lagoons, help me build those windows.
4)Ms Granger, aren't you looking all pretty today. Whats the new perfume you're put, love it.
5)Dumbledore is adorable in purple, isn't he Sybill?
6)Go Gryffindor Go!
7)I hate my scowl. In the privacy of my bathroom, I try all different expressions.
8)Ice-cream yay! Get your hands off my dessert silly boy.
9)*in a trancelike state* "The chosen one will wear Red underwear today......."
10)Dumbledore, doesn't my room look great with windows?

You got any of your own? Add on and lets have fun.

" (in cheering voice) GO POTTER! GO POTTER! IT'S YOUR B-DAY...Have some chocolate!"

"I love my daddy!"

"Muggles, the other white meat"

" Does this robe make me look fat?"

*(Rock in hand....Rocking back and forth) ME-LIKE-SHINNY-ROCKS!"

"Oh Albus, your on Fire! ^^ ...No really."

"Remus...I have to tell you...I-I love...Sirius. You cant have him."

"This one time, at band camp..."

"Dumbledore, Voldemort. Voldemort, Dumbledore. OK. Now you two know each other, shake hands and be friends."

"*hugging potions book* Where did Potter touch you?...And you said no, right? *sob* It'll be ok my dear copy of Advanced Potion-Making.."


"Cup of tea, eh what! Tally ho, old chap!"

"I love my owl, Sparkle Eyes Super Princess!"

"Ohh, a mysterious exchange student from America! I respect them as a person, and they are my favourite student!"

"Potter, lick the nib of your quill one more time, and you will be in a world of pain. And by pain I mean lying on your back screaming for it. Jellybaby, anyone?"

"Voldemort's OK, but jeez! The man does prattle on. I swear I age a year every time I hear the "ewww, dirty muggles are touching me' speech."

"Right, today, we will all be making Surprise potions...and Draco will be taste testing....let's see you steal my whisky again, Mr. Malfoy."

"Weasley, do you think Bill would prefer leather or chainmall underware? He's just so hard to buy for!"

"I love Muggles, but I couldn't eat a whole one by myself."

"Don't worry about it Lucius. It happens to everyone, occasionally. We can just cuddle."

"Does anyone else think the Dementors are rippoffs of the Nagazul? Anyone?"

"Granger, if you can't keep your little male harem under control, you shan't be allowed to have one."

"Oy! Dumbledore! Sod off, you twinkling eyed old bugger!"


"Uhhmmmm... I don't know the answer to that one..."

"I apologize."

"Argus, is this Hemroid Cream or Vagisil!?" (LOL! Geez, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. Auh, good times.)

"My hoserie is bunching."

"TWENTY POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!!!"

"Star light, star bright, first star I see to night, I wish I may, I wish I might have this wish I wish tonight."

*clears throat*
"And now I will recite a poem by Emily Dickonson..."

"The frog's breath's connected to the... Night Shade,
The Night shade's connected to the... worm's wort.
The worm's wort's connected to the..."

"Ugh... Bad hair day."

"Voldemort, I don't think this contract is working out, you see, it's just so hard swining in between masters like that all of the time and eh, I just think that I need to move on, you know, in a differen't direction... What I'm trying to say is: I quit."

*Swings ominously into class, turns to students* "You can all just... chill for now."

😆 😆 good ones Charming!

I have a few of my own:

Severus snape will never:

1) Look in the mirror and say: Hai Hai Mirchi, Uff Uff Mirchi (and prance around like a model)

2) Serenade McGonagall with: Tujhe dekha to yeh jaana sanam, pyaar hota hai deewana sanam

3) Do an ad for: Dabur Amla Kesh Tel

Hilarious.....you made my stomach pain with all the laughing I did!

The people at work probably think I am gone off my rocker! 😆

lol, they are funny, aren't they? Lets see some of the members do some of their own.

Omg..u guys are so funny!

😆 very funny... 😆 😆 😆 stomach hurts... 😆 😆 😆 rolling on floor... 😆 😆 😆