
For new members in our forum who

Only In America
1. A pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. We use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning bloodsucking creatures'.
10. they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show.
"Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was the captain's parrot after all.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days.
After a week the parrot finally said, "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?"
****SP Dev Team****
PS. Do leave your comments and suggestions. It takes like 3 hours to make this NL . Will definately appreciate you let us know How do you like this NL or if you want any changes in features.đł