divorce, widow & marriage *dotw*

i was going through 'ek ladki anjani si' section and found many posts criticizing the main protagonist's mother's affair. that lady doesn't have a husband and all these years brought her daughter all alone and now is it wrong for her to think about her life? in the story she fell for a married man.

i am not supporting that but i am asking your opinion in general not about the show. is it wrong for a divorcee or a widow to think about remarriage or seek companionship?

i dnt watch the serial so no idea 😛 😛 😛

I am surprised to even think that people make a big deal about a divorcee' or a widow seeking companionship .I know such things do happen, but not as much in larger cities . I know several Aunties and Uncles ( family friends ) when i was in Delhi . Many were divorcee's and had relationships and it was NOT frowned upon amongst our social circle ( as in my parents age group- 55 plus). So i can't totally relate to such an outlook , but i suppose its very common !!

From widow and seeking companionship isn't wrong, although going for a married man and ruining his life with his divorce and marriage with her, is totally wrong! Unless the circumstances are such where the marriedman loved the widow ever sine childhood, then that would be a different issue, although lives are lives. once you take a step, you can't necessarily take that step back, then all of our lives would be easier!

wonderful topic anju

if a man got remarried afta a divorce or death of his wife y cant a women doesnt she have the rite 2 move on???? i feel th@ the issue should b xplored more if it is a young woman then she should get remarried if she wantz kidz like in humtum rani got remarried after bcomin a widow. afta all this is the 21st century so y cant we move on in 2 it?

I don't watch this show so my comments are just in general.

To me this question cannot be answered in simple yes and no. There are lot of things like age, family (if you have kids and how old),etc. attached to decision. Yes, i would go with widow/divorcee to remarry. However, if you have kids who are teenager it gets hard for those mothers to marry or get into relashionship. It is hard for those kids to accept some other men in their mother's life. This does not mean that kids are selfish. They are just too young at that age to understand what women is going through. In such cases i would not support widow/divorcee marrying again. Probably they can wait till kids grow up so they can discuss such issues and then get into relashionship. To mess up one relashionship to build a new one in that case is not something i would support. However, when kids are too young or old enough (sometimes married) then single mother do need some support and also, a friend for their life and later years of life. There is nothing wrong for divorcee or widow to marry again. Afterall, they are humans and they also need a companion and friend for whole life. Being widow is not something they should be punished for.

This topic kind of made me introspect myself about how selfish i could be. Probably some thoughts for you guys- let's say your mother get divorced or widow and she gets into relashionship with other men....how many of you think that it will be ok with you to see her remarry? I guess probably, it will be all settled and we are mature enough to understand her point of view BUT there is lot of turmoil and effect about this change in your life.

Originally posted by: Vishesh

D/W can remarry .. but they shud be careful when 'starting affair' with married man.. they shud find out the truth.. and they shud tell married man to get Divorce first, before taking affair to next stage...

This could be off topic, but if D/W find out that man is married, shouldn't she leave that man? rather than asking him to take divorce first. why should D/W marry a liar or someone who is already into a relashionship. To break someone relashionshiop and make your life merry is unethical. "Affair with married man" could lead to whole new debate topic i guess. 😕

yes of course divorcees and widows should have the freedom to marry if they choose to. the end of a relationship does not necessarily mean the end of life itself. but i think the main problem here usually arises from the children. of course in india society may frown upon it too but if the widow/divorcee faces opposition form her own family that would really be toughest to overcome.

First of all, a divorcee or widow is a woman. She has every right to decide on the course of her life as any other man. If a man who is a divorcee or a widower can marry, and we don't raise any debates on it, I think we should not question a widow's or divorcee woman's right to marry.

i started this thread to know the general opinion on the issue. still let me put my take on the character meera and then i will put my general opinion.

about meera in elas: meera is a very insecure woman who had a terrible childhood. her dad left her (reason still unknown) and her mother brought her up alone along with her brother. her mother is shown as a nice lady but partial towards her brother and afraid of society. so i assume meera was not brought up as a confident woman. now meera has a 18 yr old. we are still not sure if she is an unwed mother or divorcee or widow. she has a good job and her relationship with her daughter is the one between two friends unlike the one she shares with her mother. so i think even though she is an unconfident lady, she was able to bring up a confident daughter like anu. she falls for a married man who told her that his marriage is in trouble and he is soon going to divorce his wife. as a insecure, needy woman she fell for it and that was her biggest mistake. that man was obviously taking her for a ride. now she realized her mistake. i can only sympathize with her.

general opinion: why can't a widowed/divorced mother of teenager fall in love? doesn't everyone in this world need companionship? kids argue about how interfering parents are or they need space and they need to achieve their dreams. will these kids forego their dreams and ambition and offer the same support and love to their mother or father whole life? NO. i think kids should encourage their w/d mother to go out there and meet people. kids shouldn't grow up to be selfish. if these kids love their d/w mothers and then they would adjust to the new arrangement too. i pity the society which frown on remarriage. it's not like these women (may be not all) don't have any desires. they are worried how the kids and the rest would react. so they keep their wishes buried and continue be their gallant self. i think such selfless women deserve unselfish kids too.

isn't it funny that the remarriage act for widows was established in 1856 and we (not all) in india still frown upon this topic?😔