lingi !!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys please post all the ashi lingo and all the funny, sarcastic ashi wise-cracks here! Its really funny to read the jokes!!!

I have one:
__________________________________________________ ____________
BAND PERFORMANCE-NA JAANE KAISE

SITUATION: (BAND MEETING)

Ashi: People we are going to perform…
Aman: Ab kuch nahi ho sakta…Band is history…Contract says four people…and we are three…
Tia: Kyunki Yuvi nahi play karna chahta…
Ashi: Aman we owe it to the audience…
Tia (from behind): Tia can spell it for you if it is so difficult-F O U R –FOUR
Ashi: Contract is just a piece of paper and music our passion…and between a piece of paper and my passion I choose passion and am ready to fight for it!!!
Ashi: Hey bhaggu!! Sabke brains ko summer holidays ke liye bhejna important tha kya???

Aman: Maine usse samjhane ki bahut koshish kari…
Ranveer: Par vo hamari baat hi nahi sunna chahte…
Tia: Ditto…
Ashi: Well kiddos…as usual mujhe hi crisis solve karna padega…
Tia: Tum solve karogi??? Good…Bahut dino baad tumne ek funny joke crack kara hai…
Ashi: HOOPS!!! Don't laugh too much varna tumhara yeh 12 KG make-up hai
na…wrinkle to crinkle to p***le ho jayega…and I don't want to see you
without make-up…you see I am not fond of horror movies!!!

_______________________
LATER WHEN ASHI MEETS YUVI:

Ashi: Congratulations…You are one of the last persons I would like to talk to but the band needs you…
Yuvi: But I am not interested…
Ashi: Maybe you didn't get me…Main koi hobby classes ke forms distribute nahi kar rahi…
Ashi: Ok, lets make things simpler for you…Lets say it's your special way to thank me…
Yuvi: THANK YOU???
Ashi: Ya, For all that I have done for you…Mere paas ek poori encyclopedia hai of jo-jo maine tumhare liye kiya hai…
Yuvi: And what have you done for me???
Ashi: Tumhe Goa tak follow karna, tumhare dad se jhoot bolna, tumhari mom ke instructions par play-act karna…
Yuvi: You know what??? Add one more thing to your encyclopedia…
Ashi: And what's that???
Yuvi: The one about my stolen car…
Ashi: Tumhare paas car bhi hai???
Yuvi: Haan…
Ashi: But why a stolen car??? Ah!!! Now I get it…Tumhare politician dad ko bribe mein mili hogi…But usse stolen nahi kehte…and anyways what has it got to do with me???
Yuvi: Ashi, I promise you that I will not tell my dad about the car…varna he will call the gobs…THAT'S MY WAY OF THANKING YOU!!!
Ashi: You super-duper rich and spoilt brat!!!
Yuvi: Excuse me?
Ashi: Excuse me for talking to YOU.
Ashi (to Yuvi): You know what? Tum ek irritating and stubborn coconut ho…
Hey bhaggu!!! Is coconut ko rich zaroor banana because very soon isse excuse me bolne ke bhi paise dene honge varna no one will be interested in talking to him!!!
Bye you, dry, rotten, shallow, smelly, decayed coconut tree…
__________________________________________________ ____________

Really funny naa?

__________________