Its not about you wasting 3 years, you've loved him... hez loved you all along.. you've had your good times together.
Whatever happens, happens with a reason..its not called wasting time.
I suggest you go ahead and call that guy..tell him about your bf...see how he reacts.. you have nothing to lose at that end.
He might end up confessing things u dont noe about him..he might be the best person to seek advice from.
And your boyfriend, 3 years is a long time.. Ask yourself... Do you really wanna let go?
Why dont you tell him you want a break... not a break up.
and during that break you can think over what you really want =)