Dowry Deaths in India – Another Daughter Lost, A Society Questioned. - Page 3

Twisha wasn’t an unknown face. She was an actor/model, she was educated, and still faced such brutality. She was character-assassinated even after she passed away. I cannot imagine the horrors that countless other Twishas might be facing.

The worst part is that there’s no one to give them the justice they deserve, nor will their cases get the coverage this one did.

Till the day parents decide that any family that asks for explicit or implicit dowry does not deserve their daughter, countless such women will face the same fate. Daughters are not money-making, child-bearing, or abuse-bearing machines. Nor are they some burden that needs to kept down. They are living, breathing human beings, just like men.

I think parents need to realize that it’s not just their duty to marry her off because society is putting pressure on them. It’s important who she is marrying—what the man is like, what his family is like, and what the extended family is like too. (Especially in India)

The main problem starts when parents think that after marriage, their duty is completed. This is not a to-do journal where items are checked off after completion. Till the day they are alive, they are responsible for their daughter’s well-being, comfort, and life. The confidence that comes from knowing your parents will always stand by you, no matter what, makes a girl infinitely brave.

Instead of giving dowry, parents can gift their daughters property—anything from a piece of land to a furnished house—with strong legal clauses that ensures it cannot be transferred, sold, or treated as community property. That way, they can ensure she will always have a roof over her head and will not have to depend on her in-laws or her husband for money or security. Financial independence is the best gift a girl can have in this patriarchal society. Make your daughters self-sufficient and confident enough to speak up against such monsters.

It’s sad that even the government hasn’t done enough to enforce stricter protections against such horrors. What are we even expecting when a heinous crime like marital rape still lacks full legal recognition in India? The high priest in the so called temple of justice has declared that passing such a law would “interfere” in the marriage. And we expect justice from these lawmakers? After all, they are part of the same system that often prefers to maintain the status quo.

And until we break this pattern —
there will always be another “Twisha.

It's simply boils down to seeing daughters as burden parents want to throw on another family. That's it

India is such a wedding obsessed nation. Parents of both side wants wedding, not marriage. Girl parents wants to wash their hands off responsibility so that they can be free of this burden. In laws often see this new bride as money making Machine, or baby making machine, or a slave, or someone who would listen to their taunts 247 without any reason, without any protest

Be it upper class lower or mid 99% girl parents anxiously waits for the day they can transfer their daughter to another house. These parents are so horrible that if their daughter comes back with any issue they would tell her to adjust. Dowry cases should be filed on girl parents too. What about their emotional torture from months which tells the daughter that she can't even go back to her parents? What about them making their own daughter feel like burden - paraya dhan and all that shit

I don't get if parents feel the burden of girl child why do they even raise them? Why they anxiously wait for that one day and not the life of their daughter? Do they not love their kids enough in front of wedding?

Idk when parents of India would focus their mind to raise capable strong independent daughters. When they would come out of bechara mindset that oh poor parents of daughter. Women aren't burden. They never were they never would be. What they want is support, a little bit. If parents start to lament think how without making their daughter marry, they can't be "free" , how can they make emotionally strong girls who can fight these kinda sick in laws; don't fear divorce or fear the label of divorced woman

I wonder how many girl parents out there actually Sit down with their daughters and say this house belongs to her as well and to always come back if she has any issues. How many parents give that assurance that they would always be on the side of their daughter and never blame her? How many parents don't fear the status of their single or divorced daughter

Unless society don't fix these things, dowry case would continue. The groom side of family take advantage of these situations where they know they have trapped the bride. They know their status is higher than the daughter, so they can do anything they want. The parents of daughter don't want the daughter to come back, and would do everything in their power to keep her in sasural. Unless this power dynamic shifts where groom side knows if they torture the bride, she has a strong support behind her, these cases won't stop

This is in general pov from my side.not related to the horrible case that's ongoing

Hi there,

This is true but not always easy.

I know of a family where parents of a divorced daughter do not know what to do with her.

Socially, she isolates herself and hates the pitiful looks people give her.

She moved abroad to restart a new life, but refuses to date or find a new partner. She divorced more than 10 years ago.

She is childless and grabs her siblings' children as her own and tries to fill a void that sadly no one can fill.

She refuses to adopt.

She refuses to go for counselling and therpay.

Parents beg her siblings to look after her once they are dead. But they are stuck in their own lives too.

They can give financial support and housing support.

The emotional burden of constantly checking on a divorced family member and constantly including her in all events because she does not have a family of her own eventually leads to resentment in their own family.

Honestly, she is a living a lifeless life. And watching her go through this everyday makes her elderly parents more lifeless too.

Growing up, even during my school days, my mom would tell me to study hard so I could find a good job and be an independent woman and financially support myself. She also would tell me again and again, "once married, if you ever face domestic abuse, you do NOT have to put up with it. Walk out of the relationship and live on your own". I have not forgotten that advice. Never needed it because I'm married to a wonderful man. Touchwood!

But on many occasions you see parents asking their own daughter to "adjust". They are so worried about the social stigma associated with a woman who leaves her husband's home and either comes back to the maternal home or lives by herself. And so, they choose to turn a blind eye to their daughter's plight. Even society starts talking ill about such women who choose themselves over the endless torture.

Many people still think of a girl child as a burden. From childhood she is told that she is going to be part of another family and needs to conduct herself a certain way. And worst of it all is that women themselves are such huge enablers of this patriarchal tradition. The claim that the boys' side is superior to the girls' is just so farcical. I've never understood this concept. Like how do people justify it? Isn't this relationship supposed to be a partnership?

With regards to dowry, I've myself had friends who have justified the dowry-system - their reasoning being that in their culture, women do not get a share of the property (it's only the boys who get property), so they want to get their share as part of the wedding. Else, they would get nothing at all. Again, I don't understand why parents would exclude girls from inheritance. Isn't your daughter your child too?

There maybe many people who do not support the dowry system. However, people still go through it as a social obligation. They do it more for the security of their daughter than anything else. How can you forge a healthy relationship when it's rooted in greed that's been masked as culture?

https://www.facebook.com/DelhiPradeshYouthCongressOfficial/posts/why-is-it-always-the-daughter-in-law-who-dies-in-a-fire-falls-suddenly-or-is-fou/1283518347286164/

Originally posted by: Sam111

Root cause of all this starts from this line : Main apni beti ko bete ki tarah bada kiya.. Why there is no individuality for woman, when girls say they want to go for trip, mothers have this one line " Shaadi ke baad pati ke saat chali jaana". Sometimes I feel like girls should build a house for themselves so that no can throw them from their house and no one can say that we will throw you out even as a joke. After Giving lakhs of dowry, gifts , then they will abuse her physically mentally emotionally.. I know someone who made his paralytic wife of 2 years pregnant. Just imagine how much horror she would have faced. No one not even her parents raised voice nor supported her.. She died giving birth during labour. Inlaws see DIL as unpaid maid. If she is working woman her second shift starts at home cooking, cleaning washing. I wish there should be a island where girls can move and lead their life. At least they will be happy. If a girl is unmarried after 25 years of age people see her like parasite, why our people give more importance to society than to her daughter wishes.

The expectations imposed on women are heartbreaking, a daughter waiting for marriage to experience freedom, a married woman carrying endless emotional and domestic labour, and society questioning a woman’s worth if she remains unmarried. Why should a girl’s identity, home, safety, or happiness depend on someone else?

Your point about women needing a space and security of their own is powerful. Every woman deserves financial independence, emotional support, and a place where she feels she belongs without fear of being “sent away” or “thrown out," or " will be killed soon.” A daughter is not a guest in her parents’ house nor an unpaid worker in her marital home.

The incident you shared about that paralysed woman is deeply disturbing and reflects how silence and social pressure often fail women when they need support the most. Until families start valuing daughters’ choices, dignity, and autonomy above “log kya kahenge,” these cycles will continue. Even financial independence does not secure a woman a happy life in present-day circumstances.