Dowry Deaths in India – Another Daughter Lost, A Society Questioned. - Page 2

Originally posted by: spain

Thank you for sharing this important topic.

I have followed the Twisha case carefully.

Really admired her army brother for fighting for his sister both before and after her death.

He said he would never forgive himself when his sister asked him to touch the feet of the monster mother-in-law and say "sorry" to her for standing up for his sister.

There are many brothers and parents who do not get involved in such difficult confrontations of the girl's in-laws side. He did it and yet he lost his beloved sister.

A lot of desperation and agony goes unnoticed because the voice eventually gets silenced. And those who are aware or witness the disharmony around us also keep silent.

Silence is the first step to slow isolation and the final step to tragedy.

Let's face it. There is unofficial bullying happening in most marital households.

There is gaslighting of the newly-married victim, where she feels she may have "over-reacted" or became "too sensitive" to in-laws triggering behaviour and the silent hope and prayers that things will eventually get better with "adjustment".

Of course, the lovely in-laws are always ready to give their feedback on matters related to them as "trivial" and "no big deal" and the girl "just needs to adjust". However, when the finger is pointed at the girl, she is labelled as "difficult" and "atrocious"!!!

Why do parents give dowry in the first place?

Even though they know it is illegal?

Because they trust their daughter's future will be well-looked after.

Because there is indirect pressure from the in-laws that they are a "good catch" and they are deserving of high-class treatment.

Because they do not want their daughter to be ill-treated after marriage.

What they do NOT see, however, are the false promises in exchange of "gifts".

They do NOT see the chameleon faces of the future groom and the in-laws. They are deceived and trapped from the start.

Worse, after marriage, they do not see the dilemma many women silently face in their own marital household.

The sudden realisation that a girl does not feel "safe" living in her own "new marital home".

The sudden realisation that there is no sense of belonging anywhere - either in her own birth home or in her new marital home.

The need to constantly smile like a happy new bride but cry in isolation in the bathroom. And then come out, with make-up intact and jewellery intact, and of course with that big, bright flashy smile!

Parents and family can see their daughter's fake smile when they visit - and they panic and worry and pray that the forbidden shouldn't happen.

Every girl wants her marriage to work. It has been a fairytale dream since her childhood. She would not want to throw away her marriage under the bus without giving every drop of hope and effort that things would change for the better.

Deaths happen because of feeling suffocated. Can't go here, can't go there, can't say this, can't say that, can't do this, can't do that. It kills the soul and chops off its wings in one smooth, silent blow.

Chilling. But true.

The way you highlighted her brother’s courage and guilt was especially powerful. His fight for his sister, both during her struggle and after her death, reflects the helplessness many families experience when they try to stand against abuse yet are unable to save their loved one. His pain will remain one of the most heartbreaking part of this case.

Your words on silence being the path to isolation and eventually tragedy are profoundly true. The “adjustment” narrative often normalizes emotional harm, gaslighting, and quiet suffering until the victim begins questioning her own reality. That silent erosion of confidence and belonging is rarely acknowledged.

The image you painted.... a bride hiding tears behind make-up and jewellery while carrying the weight of expectations is devastating because it reflects a reality many hesitate to speak about.

This is not merely about dowry; it is about power, control, silence, and the emotional suffocation hidden behind social rituals. Posts like yours remind us why these conversations matter and why empathy, vigilance, and speaking up are necessary before another voice is silenced.

Stating the obvious wouldn't bring a change... only d o i n g something for a change can bring it...

That's also something I miss in movies... mostly a situation is narrated but not how it got overcome in a practical way... I remember that the last movie I've seen strong collaboration of people not directly involved to change a domestic violence situation was Darlings (because - let us be honest - violent people rather won't change).

Solicitor General Tushar Mehta, appearing for the Madhya Pradesh government, said the case was a message for all parents that it is better to have a divorced daughter than a dead daughter to face such an unfortunate incident. A hard truth that every grieving parent will agree.

Originally posted by: Sanskruthi

Twisha's inlaws are highly educated people and her mother in law is from judiciary background. It should tell us that this evil custom has no link to poverty, class or education. It's absolute reduction of a woman to a commodity.n

Her MIL already started sl*t shaming that poor dead woman in front of the media, had her bail in advance... She seems to know exactly how system works by trying to forge a media trial. There needs to stricter implementation of law and order at ground level. Media should not give an accused a platform.

Your point about reducing women to commodities is powerful and painful. Also, a dead woman losing her dignity through public character attacks is deeply upsetting. No victim should be denied respect or subjected to social judgment after such a tragedy. Strengthening implementation at the ground level and ensuring responsible public discourse are indeed necessary if justice and dignity are to prevail.

Your post reminded me of a memory almost two decades ago. Then I had a classmate from Haryana.

She told, "In my early teenage I used to feel bad hearing about killing of female fetuses. But now that I understand how much dowry parents have to use to marry off a daughter, I understand why they do it."

Why dowry even honour killing happens in India till now.

Earlier women were not given a share of ancestral properties so one time dowry still had a logic, but the same tradition continues till date.

And what is more alarming is that Twisha Sharma earned so much, still they wanted dowry. According to news reports they also wanted Twisha's share in her father's property to be transferred in their name.

Greed for easy money, the urge to dominate, and cruelty disguised as tradition turn a daughter into an “outsider” in the very society that should respect and protect her.

When a girl is seen as a burden to one home and a source of gain to another, the roots of injustice begin even before birth??!!

This mindset feeds the fear that leads to female foeticide, dowry harassment, and violence.

The tragedy is not the birth of a girl child.... the tragedy is a society that fails to value her life, dignity, and humanity.

She carries the strength to nurture life, to endure pain, and to bring a new generation into the world, yet many women still face violence, humiliation, female foeticide, and injustice from the very society which was created by the same women!!

A daughter should never be measured by wealth; she is a life-giving mother, not a liability. Isn't it true??

Root cause of all this starts from this line : Main apni beti ko bete ki tarah bada kiya.. Why there is no individuality for woman, when girls say they want to go for trip, mothers have this one line " Shaadi ke baad pati ke saat chali jaana". Sometimes I feel like girls should build a house for themselves so that no can throw them from their house and no one can say that we will throw you out even as a joke. After Giving lakhs of dowry, gifts , then they will abuse her physically mentally emotionally.. I know someone who made his paralytic wife of 2 years pregnant. Just imagine how much horror she would have faced. No one not even her parents raised voice nor supported her.. She died giving birth during labour. Inlaws see DIL as unpaid maid. If she is working woman her second shift starts at home cooking, cleaning washing. I wish there should be a island where girls can move and lead their life. At least they will be happy. If a girl is unmarried after 25 years of age people see her like parasite, why our people give more importance to society than to her daughter wishes.

The thing is Twisha herself is educated, liberal she was a model! Yet she couldn't take a firm stand against the abuse probably because she felt guilty and thought her in-laws would change with next dowry installment.

The violence against women, r*pe cases, molestation needs stricter implementation of law and order on ground level. Good governance is the need of the hour. Quick judgements and prompt actions to set an example. These men/people know they can get away (and they f*cking do). We should not sit and wait for people's moral compass to change.

With upcoming wave of unemployment and economic crisis in India these cases will only increase. Sadly women and children are the most vulnerable population for the outlet of frustration in many households. There are enough studies to tell this.

“Adjust kar lo” has probably killed more women than people realize. Parents fear “log kya kahenge” so much that they ignore bruises, abuse, threats… until it becomes a death case. Taking your daughter out of an unsafe home should be the first step, not the last regret. They really have no consideration for the horror their daughter endured, to deck-up her corpse like a bride for her funeral, when the very reason she died is because of her marraige. To still celebrate her dying 'married' and before her husband, who is a reason for her death.

Media, entertainment industry has hands in this indirectly. They write DIL character as mahaan whose only duty is to forgive all her culprits. People are learning new techniques of how to abuse DIL through serials. There is an incident in Karnataka years back, a family killed their DIL giving some drug. When the report comes it showed as heart attack. When dug deep they took the name of certain show and got to know about the drug. Some one gave HIV infected injections to their daughter became she fell in love. There are innumerable cases of women dying due to abuse harassment but justice almost to nil. There should be very strict laws to protect women's rights in our country tbh.