Originally posted by: EkPaheli
I don’t think it’s dumb tbh. Rather it’s probably one of the most realistic things they’ve captured.
What Pari is experiencing is a potent combination of guilt combined with pride topped off by embarrassment. Probably one of the worst combination of feelings ever.
Imagine being in her shoes for a moment.
You break off a perfectly fine marriage your dad arranged for you, by accusing the guy and the family that he picked for you as being abusive, you went to the extent of making your dad think they were so monstrous that they could have killed you had you not escaped that hell hole.
Your parents are absolutely distraught at the thought of them being the reason, even if involuntarily for your suffering. They beat themselves up over it and blame themselves for being so wrong in judging someone’s whole family and character which ended up costing their daughter nearly her life.
Then your mom finds out it’s all a lie and refuses to let an innocent family suffer because of you. She tries to get you to admit that you framed these people out of sheer hubris in your father’s blind love for you, based on the knowledge that he would never let you go back to that place and dance to your tunes as you please. You don’t think 3/4 years behind bars would be much for an innocent family with 2 people old enough to be your parents, and when your mom tries to reason with you, instead of accepting your mistake, you end up manipulating your father against your mom. You actively plot against her to get her out of your home and worse, help get another woman in between them.
Despite everything your mom still ignores everything that you say and do - be it belittling her, fat shaming her or trying to make her feel inconsequential or as someone ill-suited to be with your father.
She tries to protect you from your own decisions that she can see from a mile away are gonna destroy your life for good, and instead of appreciating her, thanking her, trying to see how much she loves you, you ensure that she is framed as a liar in front of your dad, made to take a fall.
You accuse her time and again of treating you differently from her other kids because you’re adopted… you end up being the child who was however never worth her love.
Now you’re suffering from the consequences of your own decisions. Your own choices have shaped your life and everything you said and did is coming back to you. You’re truly abused within your own home by your husband and your own family members don’t even notice your injuries let alone doubt anything’s wrong in your marriage. You had another woman brought into your mom’s life as a home-wrecker, well now your husband’s cheating on you and you get to taste how it feels to endure that heartbreak, humiliation and disregard for your feelings, love and loyalty from the father of your child, the man you loved so madly, the man you created a family with and envisioned a life with.
How can you now face your mother, whom you caused so much suffering and pain? How do you go beg her for help, even if that’s all you want? How do you tell her that she was right and you discovered it too late and paid a price for it, a very painful one too?
How do you ask for forgiveness from the one person whom you’ve so utterly betrayed and ruined despite knowing that they loved you with all their heart?
How do you find that tiny bit of courage to say sorry to the one person who you know will forgive you instantly if you apologise when you don’t feel like you can ever forgive yourself, let alone deserve her forgiveness?
1.4k