Tejneil ki Gaatha

I just can't believe on myself..I completed it. 🤩

Maine tejneil par poetry banayi hai.

Will post it tomorrow

From Neil's POV:

Maine to sirf ek khwaab sajaaya tha,

Khwaab ko hakikat aapne banaya tha.

Jab aayi hamare milan ki baari,

To khuda ne kya khel rachaaya tha.

Mere ishq ka usne mazak udhaaya tha,

Khwaab ko meri, buri yaad bataya tha.

Mere dil ka har jazbaat jhutlaya tha,

Us khili muskaan ko usne yu murjhaya tha.

Pehli dafa,

Jab aapko dekha tha.

Aapke gusse ke noor se,

Mera dil meheka tha.

Tab pehli dafa,

Mera khwaab cheheka tha.

Mere apno ne kaha,

Me loveriya se beheka tha.

Bin umeed ke, sirf aapko chaaha tha.

Milan har baar usne karaya tha.

Dil ke jazbaat usne badaya tha,

Meri umeed ko pankh de,

Usi ne udaaya tha.

Kisi anjaan pr vishwas pehli baar kiya hoga aapne,

Maine bhi pyaar pehli baar hi kiya tha.

Kehte hai uski marzi ke bina, Ek patta bhi nhi hilta,

To aapke baba se vo lafz bhi, Usi ne kehel vaya tha.

Hamara Galatfahmi se shuru rishta,

Saat janamo ka naata hai.

Driver dada se driver jiju ka,

Safar mujhe bahot bhaata hai.

Maano ya na maano,

Sach to yahi tha.

Maya ke aage,

Shakti hi sahi tha.

Samajh to gayi thi,

Aap bhi ye,

Fir kyu aap vaha,

Or me yahi tha.

Aapki ek muskaan jaise,

Mere liye juloos thi.

Aapki vo aalingan ki chhaya,

Meri chhaati me mehfooz thi.

Ek khuda,

Tu nahi jaanta,

Bal is pyaar ka.

Murjhaaye podhe bhi khile the,

Vo Mausam tha bahar ka.

Mera pyaar jeet raha tha,

Aapke vishwas ki dhaal se.

Jb dimaag chalaya to samajh aaya,

Me kaam kar raha tha khaal se.

Shastra gira diye shaanti paane ko,

Nahi rehna tha malal me.

Pr aapko kho kar samajh aaya,

Haar gaya me, Rituraj ki chaal se.

Kyu aurat ke pyaar ki,

Itihaas gavahi deta hai.

Or mard ke pyaar ko,

Taj Mahal bana deta hai.

Savitri kaal se lad kar,

Apna suhaag bacha laayi thi.

Kya mera pyaar sachcha nhi jo,

Tum na wapas aayi thi.

Kaal ke chakrviyu me fasaa kar,

Tune mujhe badnaam kar diya.

Bhole bhale tejaswini ke Neil ka,

E khuda,

Dekh tune kya haal kar diya.

Apne daga kar gaye sabhi,

Jin par sabse jayada vishwas tha.

Matlabi bhai ko kya dosh du,

Mera to kaka bhi badmaash tha.

Hil jaayegi duniya ab,

Neil ka roop dekh kar.

Har gunehgar ko saja dilvaunga,

Faansi ka fanda fek kar.

Nahi tod payega koi,

Ye milan tha shiv parvati ka.

Misaal hai hamara ishq,

Un tute dilo ki kahani ka.

Bata do aap unhe,

Ye khwaab nahi hakikat hai.

Neelkanth or aprajita ka milan,

Is dhara ki vasihat hai.

Us khushiyo ke aangan ko,

Tune jo ukhaada hai.

Ab dekh intekaam mera,

Tufaan kaise aata hai.

Ab ye dhara nahi,

Ye jung ka akhaada hai.

Ab dekh intekaam mera,

Tufaan kaise aata hai..

Originally posted by: shru_ti

Maine to sirf ek khwaab sajaaya tha,

Khwaab ko hakikat aapne banaya tha.

Jab aayi hamare milan ki baari,

To khuda ne kya khel rachaaya tha.

Mere ishq ka usne mazak udhaaya tha,

Khwaab ko meri, buri yaad bataya tha.

Mere dil ka har jazbaat jhutlaya tha,

Us khili muskaan ko usne yu murjhaya tha.

Pehli dafa,

Jab aapko dekha tha.

Aapke gusse ke noor se,

Mera dil meheka tha.

Tab pehli dafa,

Mera khwaab cheheka tha.

Mere apno ne kaha,

Me loveriya se beheka tha.

Bin umeed ke, sirf aapko chaaha tha.

Milan har baar usne karaya tha.

Dil ke jazbaat usne badaya tha,

Meri umeed ko pankh de,

Usi ne udaaya tha.

Kisi anjaan pr vishwas pehli baar kiya hoga aapne,

Maine bhi pyaar pehli baar hi kiya tha.

Kehte hai uski marzi ke bina, Ek patta bhi nhi hilta,

To aapke baba se vo lafz bhi, Usi ne kehel vaya tha.

Hamara Galatfahmi se shuru rishta,

Saat janamo ka naata hai.

Driver dada se driver jiju ka,

Safar mujhe bahot bhaata hai.

Maano ya na maano,

Sach to yahi tha.

Maya ke aage,

Shakti hi sahi tha.

Samajh to gayi thi,

Aap bhi ye,

Fir kyu aap vaha,

Or me yahi tha.

Aapki ek muskaan jaise,

Mere liye juloos thi.

Aapki vo aalingan ki chhaya,

Meri chhaati me mehfooz thi.

Ek khuda,

Tu nahi jaanta,

Bal is pyaar ka.

Murjhaaye podhe bhi khile the,

Vo Mausam tha bahar ka.

Mera pyaar jeet raha tha,

Aapke vishwas ki dhaal se.

Jb dimaag chalaya to samajh aaya,

Me kaam kar raha tha khaal se.

Shastra gira diye shaanti paane ko,

Nahi rehna tha malal me.

Pr aapko kho kar samajh aaya,

Haar gaya me, Rituraj ki chaal se.

Kyu aurat ke pyaar ki,

Itihaas gavahi deta hai.

Or mard ke pyaar ko,

Taj Mahal bana deta hai.

Savitri kaal se lad kar,

Apna suhaag bacha laayi thi.

Kya mera pyaar sachcha nhi jo,

Tum na wapas aayi thi.

Kaal ke chakrviyu me fasaa kar,

Tune mujhe badnaam kar diya.

Bhole bhale tejaswini ke Neil ka,

E khuda,

Dekh tune kya haal kar diya.

Apne daga kar gaye sabhi,

Jin par sabse jayada vishwas tha.

Matlabi bhai ko kya dosh du,

Mera to kaka bhi badmaash tha.

Hil jaayegi duniya ab,

Neil ka roop dekh kar.

Har gunehgar ko saja dilvaunga,

Faansi ka fanda fek kar.

Nahi tod payega koi,

Ye milan tha shiv parvati ka.

Misaal hai hamara ishq,

Un tute dilo ki kahani ka.

Bata do aap unhe,

Ye khwaab nahi hakikat hai.

Neelkanth or aprajita ka milan,

Is dhara ki vasihat hai.

Us khushiyo ke aangan ko,

Tune jo ukhaada hai.

Ab dekh intekaam mera,

Tufaan kaise aata hai.

Ab ye dhara nahi,

Ye jung ka akhaada hai.

Ab dekh intekaam mera,

Tufaan kaise aata hai..

Originally posted by: shru_ti

Maine to sirf ek khwaab sajaaya tha,

Khwaab ko hakikat aapne banaya tha.

Jab aayi hamare milan ki baari,

To khuda ne kya khel rachaaya tha.

Mere ishq ka usne mazak udhaaya tha,

Khwaab ko meri, buri yaad bataya tha.

Mere dil ka har jazbaat jhutlaya tha,

Us khili muskaan ko usne yu murjhaya tha.

Pehli dafa,

Jab aapko dekha tha.

Aapke gusse ke noor se,

Mera dil meheka tha.

Tab pehli dafa,

Mera khwaab cheheka tha.

Mere apno ne kaha,

Me loveriya se beheka tha.

Bin umeed ke, sirf aapko chaaha tha.

Milan har baar usne karaya tha.

Dil ke jazbaat usne badaya tha,

Meri umeed ko pankh de,

Usi ne udaaya tha.

Kisi anjaan pr vishwas pehli baar kiya hoga aapne,

Maine bhi pyaar pehli baar hi kiya tha.

Kehte hai uski marzi ke bina, Ek patta bhi nhi hilta,

To aapke baba se vo lafz bhi, Usi ne kehel vaya tha.

Hamara Galatfahmi se shuru rishta,

Saat janamo ka naata hai.

Driver dada se driver jiju ka,

Safar mujhe bahot bhaata hai.

Maano ya na maano,

Sach to yahi tha.

Maya ke aage,

Shakti hi sahi tha.

Samajh to gayi thi,

Aap bhi ye,

Fir kyu aap vaha,

Or me yahi tha.

Aapki ek muskaan jaise,

Mere liye juloos thi.

Aapki vo aalingan ki chhaya,

Meri chhaati me mehfooz thi.

Ek khuda,

Tu nahi jaanta,

Bal is pyaar ka.

Murjhaaye podhe bhi khile the,

Vo Mausam tha bahar ka.

Mera pyaar jeet raha tha,

Aapke vishwas ki dhaal se.

Jb dimaag chalaya to samajh aaya,

Me kaam kar raha tha khaal se.

Shastra gira diye shaanti paane ko,

Nahi rehna tha malal me.

Pr aapko kho kar samajh aaya,

Haar gaya me, Rituraj ki chaal se.

Kyu aurat ke pyaar ki,

Itihaas gavahi deta hai.

Or mard ke pyaar ko,

Taj Mahal bana deta hai.

Savitri kaal se lad kar,

Apna suhaag bacha laayi thi.

Kya mera pyaar sachcha nhi jo,

Tum na wapas aayi thi.

Kaal ke chakrviyu me fasaa kar,

Tune mujhe badnaam kar diya.

Bhole bhale tejaswini ke Neil ka,

E khuda,

Dekh tune kya haal kar diya.

Apne daga kar gaye sabhi,

Jin par sabse jayada vishwas tha.

Matlabi bhai ko kya dosh du,

Mera to kaka bhi badmaash tha.

Hil jaayegi duniya ab,

Neil ka roop dekh kar.

Har gunehgar ko saja dilvaunga,

Faansi ka fanda fek kar.

Nahi tod payega koi,

Ye milan tha shiv parvati ka.

Misaal hai hamara ishq,

Un tute dilo ki kahani ka.

Bata do aap unhe,

Ye khwaab nahi hakikat hai.

Neelkanth or aprajita ka milan,

Is dhara ki vasihat hai.

Us khushiyo ke aangan ko,

Tune jo ukhaada hai.

Ab dekh intekaam mera,

Tufaan kaise aata hai.

Ab ye dhara nahi,

Ye jung ka akhaada hai.

Ab dekh intekaam mera,

Tufaan kaise aata hai..

Just one word beautiful....you have combined different essense whether it's about vocab of pure hindi and some Urdu words in a proper alignment plus the impact- Taj and Savitri ka context was really good....

Waise loveriya and Shakti nhi Satya ig....

I just wrote something in TejNeil ki gaatha....

Iss taraf ki deewar tumhe tarash rhi,

Jaise bina nakshe ke banjaare ka safar;

Aaj uss orr ki kahani sun bahut kuch bol rhi,

Jaise kisi dil ke kone ko mil gaya uska ghar|

Yun chalta phirta main musafir,

Guhar lagakar sachchai dhund rha;

Kya tum ho besabar,

Kyunki man sirf tumhe dekh rha||

Rasta aajmata main chalta gaya,

Lekin nakshe ne tumhe manjil bataya;

Aajmana toh fitrat nhi thi kaha,

Phir bhi dil ke fitoor ne maya ko thukraya|

Sachchai thakan ban panpi,

Kyun main phir bhi chalta gaya;

Manzil maksad se dhundhli ho gayi,

Aur main samay ke saath badalta gaya||

Ek roshni dikhi ant mein,

Jisme dil ko muskurakar jagaya neend ne;

Tum saaf ho gayi phir bhi nishaan chhor gayi,

Muskurahat ban baithi kahin

aur main so gaya ishq ki neend mein|

Originally posted by: Tanvi_vault

Very well written! Full of emotions and beautifully expressed

Thank you so much ❤️

Originally posted by: Ashane25

Just one word beautiful....you have combined different essense whether it's about vocab of pure hindi and some Urdu words in a proper alignment plus the impact- Taj and Savitri ka context was really good....

Waise loveriya and Shakti nhi Satya ig....

I just wrote something in TejNeil ki gaatha....

Iss taraf ki deewar tumhe tarash rhi,

Jaise bina nakshe ke banjaare ka safar;

Aaj uss orr ki kahani sun bahut kuch bol rhi,

Jaise kisi dil ke kone ko mil gaya uska ghar|

Yun chalta phirta main musafir,

Guhar lagakar sachchai dhund rha;

Kya tum ho besabar,

Kyunki man sirf tumhe dekh rha||

Rasta aajmata main chalta gaya,

Lekin nakshe ne tumhe manjil bataya;

Aajmana toh fitrat nhi thi kaha,

Phir bhi dil ke fitoor ne maya ko thukraya|

Sachchai thakan ban panpi,

Kyun main phir bhi chalta gaya;

Manzil maksad se dhundhli ho gayi,

Aur main samay ke saath badalta gaya||

Ek roshni dikhi ant mein,

Jisme dil ko muskurakar jagaya neend ne;

Tum saaf ho gayi phir bhi nishaan chhor gayi,

Muskurahat ban baithi kahin

aur main so gaya ishq ki neend mein|

Mujhe yaad nhi shakti tha ya satya 😅 us time pr me ise as such dekhti nhi thi.

Your poetry was awesome ❤️

It's a really nice poem. You captured Neil's rage in the poem well. It's similar to Lord Shiva's rage after Sati's death. I want to say only two things. Please don't take my words negatively. First, if you used a better poetic word instead of loveriya, it would have been better. The word, loveriya doesn't fit a poem. Second, the word, meheka doesn't go with the word, noor. The meanings of noor and meheka are different from each other. You could have used a different word that goes with the noor. But I also understand that you selected meheka because you wanted to use a rhyming word for chehka.

Originally posted by: Shirsha

It's a really nice poem. You captured Neil's rage in the poem well. It's similar to Lord Shiva's rage after Sati's death. I want to say only two things. Please don't take my words negatively. First, if you used a better poetic word instead of loveriya, it would have been better. The word, loveriya doesn't fit a poem. Second, the word, meheka doesn't go with the word, noor. The meanings of noor and meheka are different from each other. You could have used a different word that goes with the noor. But I also understand that you selected meheka because you wanted to use a rhyming word for chehka.

Thank you for your insights.

I took lovariya to acknowledge the incident where he was mad at finding tejaswini and his cousins were saying dada ko loveriya ho gaya hai. I know it doesn't fit with the poem 😅

For meheka, I didn't realised. I only went for rhyme.

Thank you for the corrections. 🙏🏻😊

Originally posted by: shru_ti

Thank you for your insights.

I took lovariya to acknowledge the incident where he was mad at finding tejaswini and his cousins were saying dada ko loveriya ho gaya hai. I know it doesn't fit with the poem 😅

For meheka, I didn't realised. I only went for rhyme.

Thank you for the corrections. 🙏🏻😊

Oh okay. I didn't remember that incident. Otherwise, I would have understood it was a reference to that incident.