OS - You're not the one to blame...

Hi everyone! Hope you're doing great! I missed the fandom, I've been obsessed with QH once again after my last re-watch , and here is a new OS , to be honest I'm not sure if it's good but I always wanted to see the sisters bonding so I wrote it , hopes you like it <3 , ps : ignore the mistakes if there's any I haven't written anything in a while !

- it was such a quiet and peaceful evening , the sunset looked so beautiful as well , and she was glad for that , because she found another excuse to skip dinner , after she spent the last days saying either she wasn't hungry or pretended that she's asleep whenever dinner's time was around , but today she didn't use her lame excuses once again , she simply expressed her desire to watch the sunset and enjoy the warm weather outside , but they knew that this is just another excuse she found , yet no one had the nerve to object or force her to eat when she doesn't want to , they're probably relived that they don't have to sit at the same table with her , she thought deep down herself , probably they wish if she just leave the house , no , they would never think about her in that way , it's was just her own thoughts , her own shame and disgrace , it was the guilt feeling that had stolen the sleep from her eyes at night along with her solace , she was ashamed of herself , of what happened and the kind of family she belonged to , she wished if she could disappear, never to be found , to leave everything behind , to forget what happened , to shut down her memory and restless mind , to have everything back as it was , to go back to cooking food for her husband who would mock her cooking skills only to finish his whole plate and ask for more , to sit with her beloved family , her parents as well as her parents in law , to her mother , grandmother arguing over something as they always did , to her mother-in-law saying something unfunny yet they would laugh anyway , to the solace they had before, which they don't have anymore , she simply wanted to sit back to the table , to look in everyone's eyes , to see love , respect , not loath mixed with disgust , but she didn't has even the nerve to look at their eyes to know how they see her now, how could she when the life of everyone at table was ruined by her mom , dad , or both , lives were killed , dreams ruined and hearts shattered , only because of her parents , her abbu who was too kind , gentile that she once believed he will tear up if he killed insect by mistake , Little did she knew that the same man who she told him constantly that he's the best father to exist was the same man who abounded his oldest daughter , didn't even ask or question where she was or if she's alive . She's ashamed that she stood up against whose who told her that her mom is Cruel , that she defended ,a woman who killed her husband's other wife , made her step-sister an orphan who grow up without warmth of a mother’s hug or the sweetness of a father’s words , it's ridiculous that she once slapped Ayaan for saying that about her mother , only to turns out that he was right , no , he wasn't right , he had mistaken her mom as cruel but she was beyond that , she was heartless , evil soul . A tear roll down her check on the thoughts . she wanted to scream but that would be silly , making herself as victim when she wasn't , she doesn't have the right to be victim in this house , neither to be respected or loved or kept as their daughter-in-law ... With a gentil touch , Zoya patted humaira's shoulder , who she can clearly see that she is crying once again ..

" May I sit ? " She asked her , she nodded slightly , while she made place for her . Zoya sit and put down the tray she was holding at the table " - here I got you something to eat , you haven't eaten in days " she said with a hint of smile on her lips .

" - thank you but I'm not hungry , I'll eat later " replied humaira

" - you won't , don't try to fool me , I'm worried about you "

Humaira said in flat voice " huh , you're worried about me ? " , Zoya nodded .

" - you shouldn't , in fact you should do nothing but hate me , that's what I deserve " she managed to interpret Zoya before she says anything " who was worried about you when you fall sick Zoya ? Who was there for you when you needed a warm hug ? the hug that a mother would give her daughter to comforter her , no one Zoya , not your Ammi or abbu , you know why ? Because my amm " - she has promised herself she won't call her by that name again but here again her own tongue is betraying her - " because , the woman who gave birth to me - she said even though it sounded ridiculous to her , she won't change anything by not using the word Ammi , because she would be connected to her no matter what " killed your mother , separated you from your father , I'm the daughter of a woman who stole everything you could've had , why you would be worried about me ?" , " you shouldn't be , no one should "

" But " Zoya tried to say something yet again humaira didn't let her to , " But what Zoya ? What would you say ? It wasn't me who did this but her ? , does it matter ? I took everything you should've had , took all the love , the sweet kisses, the bedtime stories , that man zoya , who gave you nothing , used to get me flowers each birthday , ask yourself Zoya , does he even know what's your birthday date is ? Which year you was born at? and here I'm , his second daughter , who gave her everything , even the love you should've had , how I'll manage to look at your face knowing that I stole a life wasn't mine ? a life I didn't deserve , everytime I see your eyes I'll remember that me , no different than them , took everything from you , even this conversation , it should've been the opposite , I'm the one who's supposed to confront you , I owe you that , to be worried about you , to get you the food tray when you're upset , but instead I'm taking this from you , I'm making it about me once again , stealing the little attention you got , I'm the last person you need to be worried about " she finished , pouring her nonsense thoughts , that barley made sense even to her

" it's not pathetic , you're not stealing anything from me , humaira , this is how life works , when something happens everyone Is affected on way or on another , everyone would be victim , you're a victim as much as I'm , you're affected by what happened , you're hurt as anyone in this house , so this isn't about making it about me or about you, it's not about who should've confronted the other , who got attention or who didn't , who did that or that , when we care about someone , those childish thoughts would disappear , so what if you made this about you? Aren't you the one who got to know her parents real faces? Do you think that this is supposed to be easy? I know that it's not , why I would act like an immature teenger and think you stole the spotlight or the attention ? In pain there's no such a thing , and yes I need someone to confront me , I wish if I could vent, pour my heart to someone , not as if I don't , because Asad is my strength in such situations , but i wish if I can do that with you , yes , you , to have everything we're supposed to have as sisters , to share our deepest secrets , to confront each other , but it wasn't destined to happen , and there's nothing we can change , the same way everything you have said wasn't destined to happen for me , I wish if I had my Ammi by my side when I fall sick , or to get flowers from abbu each year at my birthday , yet blaming you won't change anything , it won't heal my wounds or get me anything back , I won't lie , when I pass by the hall wall seeing that picture in which you're sitting at abbu's lap , I feel jealous , I wish secretly if that little girl would've been me , and it hurts me to death when I remember that he was there to witness everything you did but never witnessed anything for me , I wish if I had everything you had and I didn't , I wish if I were in your shoes , to get all the birthday gifts , to be aside my parents my entire life , yes I do wish that , but it doesn't mean that you're blamed for that , or that you have stolen it from me , it's your destiny , when it wasn't destined to me , something beyond our capacity , written even before we were born , seriously , if I blamed you , hated you for that , would I gain anything? Would my mother be back? would my past change? No , it won't , those are past , something we can't change , I'll probably till death wish if I had those yet I wouldn't get them , I can balme you as well , but again nothing would change , and no , you're wrong , I don't blame you , I'm happy that you got love, grow up near your parents , not because I'm kind or something , but simply it's everyone right , every kid should have that , I didn't , Asad didn't get his father by his side , but we got each other , we will make sure that our kids will get that , honestly? Life is to short to spend it drawing in the pain , we gotta move on , try to make it better for us , to heal our wounds , to live the each moment to the fullest , that's what we should do " Zoya was fighting her tears, deep down she wish she had humaira's life , her dad , wish that she if she haven't lost her mom , she would forever wish that , but she also knows that humaira isn't the one to blame , she's trying to confront her because she knew how lonely she feels , she have been there before , the loneliness , the unbreable pain , she grow up with that , to the point she got used to it , maybe this was her coping mechanism , escaping her own pain by trying to heal others wounds , she used to be always the one who hurry to help others , because she knew how painful it's to not to have anyone by your side , somehow she found peace when helping others , probably she's telling humaira everything she wanted to hear , or maybe she's desperate to build a relationship with the only family she got , she doesn't want to let this go away from her , she wants to keep it, to have someone from her own blood , to feel for once that she belongs to someone, that she can answer her thrid grade friends questions about her family , to tell them I have a sister now , that I'm not alone , for whatever reason she's doing that , she wanted to confront her , she would do the same even if she was stranger , her too kind Heart as her mother in law says , won't let her pass by someone in pain without helping them , the other day Asad told her that she got a such a good heart and he's lucky to have her , she wanted to smile when she remembered his words but it wasn't the right time to , instead she grabbed humaira's Hand and said " don't you ever again think of me that way , I'll never wish you any harm , for me you're not the daughter of the woman who ruined my life but my accepted pray to have a family, you're my sister that I wish I could be on good terms with "

" You're too kind Zoya , I don't deserve you as a sister " humaira said with smile this time

" Can I recite a couplet ? "

Humaira nodded

" I'm as good as you

" I'm as good as you

But you know what's better than us?

This delicious food that ends the brood "

Humaira laughed while saying" ya Allah , you and ayaan would win the competition of the worst shayari "

" Wrong , Robert is worse than me " Zoya answered her , she smiled directly as humaira took a bit of the sandwich she prepared for her " honestly zo- " she stopped talking suddenly , Zoya who was aware of her bad cooking skills , feared that she made something inedible " Allah miyan what's wrong with the sandwich again? Believe me I'm not her to poison you or something " Zoya said in unserious tone

" Don't worry , it's actually delicious , but "

" But ? "

" I was about to commit a mistake " Zoya didn't get what she meant by that so she said " mistake?" ,

" Ji , you're my older sister I'm supposed to call you baji not Zoya " she said while smiling at her sister , " thank you Baji " ....

.

.

I tried my best to keep the characters as they were portrayed in the show , hope I didn't miss up Zoya's character ): , I didn't want to portray her as Angel or too good but I know that zoya would have done this for her sister , also I was planning to write about humaira feeling guilty about the rest of the family but I didn't want to drag it further than this ( it's already long ik) , so maybe I'll add part two later , thanks for however read it , it's really appreciated , have a great day 🫶🏻!