Originally posted by: Tanya03Forums
The Epic Showdown: Sasta vs. Sita
Scene: Deep in the forest during Sita’s exile. Sita is sitting by a river, meditating peacefully. Enter Sasta, strutting in like he’s the main character of a bad action movie.
Sasta: [dramatic entrance, full of swagger] Ah, Lady Sita! All alone in the forest, huh? The queen of Ayodhya, reduced to hanging out with squirrels and trees. How… tragic.
Sita: [calmly opens her eyes] Oh, look, a discount villain. How adorable.
Sasta: [proudly] I am Sasta—the most feared warrior you’ve never heard of. I’ve come to teach you a lesson for defying the mighty Rakshasas! Prepare yourself, Sita!
Sita: [yawns] Mmm, no thanks. I’m not in the mood for a lecture today. But go ahead, give it your best shot.
Sasta: [puffs up his chest] You’re about to regret underestimating me! I’m stronger than I look! [which isn’t saying much]
Sita: [still casually sitting, picking up a random stick] Stronger than you look? That's... low bar. But sure, I’ll bite. What’s your plan, Sasta?
Sasta: [squints with determination] I’m going to—
Sasta rushes toward Sita, dramatically swinging his arms as if he’s some kind of wrestling champ. Sita calmly sidesteps, sticks out her leg, and boop, he trips and faceplants into the ground.
Sasta: [groaning] What… what happened?
Sita: [sighs] Oh, nothing, just a classic case of "Don’t run at someone who isn’t even trying." You might want to watch your step.
Sasta, now embarrassed but still trying to look tough, charges again. He yells something about “ultimate power,” but Sita simply rolls her eyes and knocks him into the river with a flick of her wrist.
Sasta: [flailing in the river, spitting out water] Nooo! This is humiliating!
Sita: [casually adjusting her hair] Yeah, it’s a pretty good show, huh? Keep going, I’m entertained.
Sasta climbs out of the river, drenched and now looking more like a wet dog than a fearsome warrior. He looks around, realizing he’s alone and has no backup.
Sasta: [stammering, trying to salvage some pride] I’ll be back for you, Sita! This isn’t over!
Sita: [rolling her eyes] Right, sure. Just, like, don’t trip on your way out.
Sasta awkwardly stumbles away, slipping on rocks as he goes. Sita shakes her head in disbelief.
Ram: [walking in, concerned] Sita, I heard shouting and some... splashing? What happened?
Sita: [grinning like a cat who’s just knocked something off the table] Oh, nothing. Just a Rakshasa named Sasta trying to impress me. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.
Ram: [raising an eyebrow] Sasta? Who is that? And why was there splashing?
Sita: [shrugging] He tried to attack me, but I knocked him into the river. He’s probably still trying to find his dignity in there.
Ram: [wide-eyed, running to her] You fought him alone? Sita, you should’ve called for me!
Sita: [laughing] Ram, I didn’t need rescuing! I was just having some fun. [mock serious] But, if you really want to be useful, maybe bring me some snacks next time.
Ram: [nervously chuckling] Okay, okay. But you didn’t have to deal with him alone. You could’ve—
Sita: [cutting him off] Ram, darling, he was the one who charged at me yelling about “ultimate power.” I could’ve dealt with him in my sleep. [pauses] Actually, I did deal with him in my sleep. He was that easy.
Ram: [laughing but clearly still worried] You’re amazing, Sita. I mean, I’m impressed... but also, I’m going to send someone to look for him and make sure he doesn’t try again.
Sita: [playfully] Oh, sweetie, let him try again. Maybe next time, I’ll introduce him to the “slap of divine justice” or my personal favorite, the “stay down already” move.
Ram: [laughing nervously] I don’t know if I’m worried about him or about you having all these moves prepared.
Sita: [grinning] You should be worried about both.
They walk off together, Sita still enjoying the fact that she’s the only one in the entire forest who can turn a Rakshasa into a punchline.
Curtain falls.