Originally posted by: sanfan
This is an interesting perspective and as a person who has keenly observed Aniβs character traitsβ¦. .i feel compelled to respond to this post.
Before responding to your specific points, I wish to detour a bit; so please bear with meβ¦
When a relationship breaks down, itβs said that only the two involved can actually say what went wrongβ¦ but here we are privy to whatβs happening so we can pass judgment or be fence sitters etc That said, as viewers we may have different ways in which they we see thisβ¦
Broadly, the theme being explored in this context by Leena appears to be incompatibility..This has been clear in the narrative for a long time but since Leena has less manoeuvrability to do this within the itv structure she has thrown the curveball of βseparationβ when there hasnβt even been a real wedding between Arshi and Ani but take this as an euphemism and proceed ahead. It is a recognition of the fact that irrespective of whatever you call the relationship, the fact they were committed to each other in the past and are staled to move onβ¦ so what do they do? How do they reconcile the past especially since there is a new budding relationship at stake?
Generally, two people with extremely different temperaments , vastly different disposition often make a go of relationships but usually one trait that helps these relationships along the way is general level of tolerance for differences in the other. I donβt see that in the Ani Arshi relationship. Itβs never necessary for two individuals in a relationship to agree on every aspect.. but usually in a healthy relationship, the partner makes his/her displeasure known and the partners together negotiate the tricky situation. Either one accepts the otherβs perspective or they both agree to disagree and negotiate the tough time. Failing both, differences continue to persist and deepens.
Aniβs sensitivity towards certain matters was a known thread in this narrative. Right from the first of the Kashmir episodes, Aniβs empathy for the underdog was evident and while he may not have initiated the rebellion of sorts by Jhanak ( orchestrated by Arshi) but he went with the spirit and later the events spiralled out of control.
the decisions he took at that point, he was acting on instinct and his sense of righteousness; to have a partner with whom he could have bounced off would have been great but situationally the chance was missedβ¦ from then on he was basically playing catch up or to put it bluntly was looking to balance matters.In fact, he was strongly of the opinion that Arshi would support him even if no one understood him. That mirage shattered soon enough ( probably around the time Jhanak tries to go back to Kashmir ( with Tejas the first time) and from then onβ¦. he kept finding ways in which he could just do things for Jhanak trying to keep it from Arshi so that there is peace. In this narrative, Aniβs attempts to convince Arshi were there and Arshi appeared to have bought it too at certain points but the relentless pressure from her mom played havoc in their relationship and her own self doubt made it futile at other times. They never showed the two sitting down and discussing the matter of Jhanak except as a way to obfuscate on Aniβs end and threatening on Arshiβs end. By this I mean, Ani wasnβt entirely honest with Arshi and Arshi was refusing to treat this as an issue close to Aniβs heart. Thus they never tried to find a solution that keeps both parties happy.. Aniβs trait of finding path of least resistance also played a part in thisβ¦The battle of ends vs means while facing a battalion who refused to do even the bare minimum in terms of humanity. On the other hand, Arshi treated this as an ego battle largely and she was shown confused, overbearing, threatening in turnsβ¦ Who bears more responsibility is something we can have different perspectives on and this is akin to a lot of he said she said etc. Viewers at this stage can take sides on who precipitated the downfall in the relationship etc but the deathknell for the relationship had begun.
At Aniβs end, the more he tried to keep things quietβ¦the more it got messier and it perhaps didnβt help that Ani was forming a deep association with Jhanak as this happened. His intention to help Jhanak was also getting enmeshed with his heartβs desire deeper and deeper. There is a dialogue between Ani and Jhanak during the Rahul fiasco where Jhanak asks him duniya main kitne log takleef main toh kya sabki madad karenge? Ani simply responds β Unme se koi Jhanak nahinβ Yet, in all this saga, Ani kept trying to reconcile with Arshi too whether by choice or by compulsion.
Coming to Arshi, β¦ The narrative presents to us( me) an Arshi who is like any other person, who is quite proud of her accomplishments, gentle to begin with but clearly with a sense of superiority. Jhanak was a project for her fleetingly. When she took the mantle to help Jhanak, it was largely pity that motivated her.. well nothing wrong in thatβ¦ a lot of people respond to people in need out of that but such empathy is generally skin deep. Arshi deeply misunderstood Aniβs sense of empathy. Ani never responded to Jhanak out of pity. It was with a deep sense of empathy for her circumstances. It was in this crucial phase where the two partners were deeply divided.
From then on, Arshi started calling the shots on how this help for Jhanak must be directed without realising that for Ani the association was personal. Ani should take responsibility for not conveying his emotions to Arshi honestly and maybe they would have either parted amicably then or fought and resolvedβ¦ it one way or the other. Aniβs trait of keeping things bottled up definitely led to the crisis but it wasnβt done with the intention to deceive Arshi to begin with. The deception began much later from Ani but by then Arshi was playing a game of her own. thereβs a dialogue from Arshi at some stage where she is questioning Ani with a knowing look but acting as if the answer doesnβt bother her. The stakes had got bigger for her and her ego couldnβt settle for losing to a lowly person. These two just werenβt honest to each other in different ways.
Apportioning of blame is an easy matterβ¦ itβs the introspection that is difficult. Itβs in this place that Leena I think tries to balance the perspectives. Thereβs a sense of fait accompli in the Ani Arshi relationship where both do not make a genuine attempt to resolve cos perhaps they both donβt want it enough or o want it only oneβs own terms. The narrative is clear and I think we must make this distinction that while Ani may owe Arshi something due to his dalliance with Jhanak and keeping Arshi in the dark, the narrative also treats Ani as an individual in a relationshipβ¦ who has the freedom to make decisions that may or may not be acceptable to the other partner. Ani doesnβt lose autonomy in that and this where the point of incompatibility comes into play.
Obviously this is a fictional story so, there wil be an attempt to shine light on one perspective more than the other but at a broader level, I am reading this simply as an incompatible partnership; the Arshi presented to me was one who felt Ani had no autonomy and things must proceed as per her or her motherβs wish. Yes, there were points where she felt Aniβs betrayal as a slight or pain ( I couldnβt tell) As viewers, we can react to either or both emotions. Personally, I can say, Arshiβs sense of betrayal could have been a powerful tale but only if Arshi did something with that other than threatening Ani.
now coming to your specific point on his rudeness with Arshiβ¦ the way I see itβ¦ Aniβs love for Jhanak asideβ¦ he is expressing that he did not find Arshi by his side in his biggest battle. He may not have chosen the best words to articulate that He may have expectations of her just as Arshi had of him. Ofc he is not completely honest in his perspective about how that came about but can we say that he alone is to blame for the downfall of this relationship? Hypothetically, if Arshi had supported his decision to support Jhanak ( even if it wasnβt whole hearted), Ani may have still fallen in love with Jhanakβ¦. Personally for me, then.. it would have been easier to lay the blame solely at his doorβ¦ but here the narrative is telling me they both werenβt compatibleβ¦ they did not make attempt to resuscitate the relationship. Ani has a bigger cross to bear ( due to his traits) and this narrative will make him bear it but Arshi too didnβt invest enough in the relationship to resolve the differences.
Now coming to your charge of Ani making Arshi a cold person, the narrative hasnβt given me sufficient clues to say that.. Here, no one was expecting Arshi to be warm to Jhanakβ¦ in any relationship of this kind, three is a crowd so Arshi being nice to Jhanak wasnβt part of the deal but humane definitely wasβ¦ you decide your level of humanityβ¦ that has nothing to do with anyone (Ani and his actions for Jhanak) . Aniβs expectation from Arshi and others was only humanity and they all fell short of it. Ani wasnβt bothered by the reaction of others but yes that of Arshi would have unsettled him. I am not saying that has anything to do with him falling in love with Jhanakβ¦ I repeat he did not fall in love with Jhanak due to Arshiβs behaviourβ¦ thatβs his own doing and nowhere in the narrative is that connectedβ¦which is again the beauty of the narrative so far. What Ani owes to Arshi is a heartfelt apology for his emotional infidelity towards Arshi ( physical yes but he was unaware ππ) and which is why I say he has a bigger cross to bear than anyone else and this will surely bear out in the narrativeβ¦ also the place where Jhanakβs love for Ani will be most visibleβ¦ Arshi taking this insult to a different level ( if Arshi remains relevant in the tale) will be a matter for the lovebirds to negotiate.Ani is not afraid to be accountable for his mistakes and that is a strong ML in my eyesβ¦ As for the characterisation of FLβ¦ I understand the gymnastics the writers are having to deal with πππ so letβs see how it. I do think the arc of Jhanak will also grow substantially given the love and care the writer has shown for Ani in building up his arcβ¦ how much of it will meet audience expectations I canβt sayβ¦
Sorry for the long post.. wasnβt my intention to make this long detour π but I have a tendency to digress πππ
Please feel free to pen your thoughts, I have tagged some hereβ¦ if I miss others donβt hesitate to air your thoughtsβ¦
.....she has nonstop shown that for nearly 350 episodes now so everyone's mind jumps in that direction only that every accident, every near death experience is a sign of some new reason for seperation or MU
.....he just wanted to make it clear ki HO GAYA TRY NOW LET ME LIVE THE WAY I WANT TO. 
....Khel gaya humara BHOLA ANI
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