Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 2 | thread 3 link posted on page 150 - Page 89

Yes, Khushi does deserve to be a mother. But through no mistake of her own the rules of her marriage changed. So she made the decision to forego that happiness for the sake of her husband. But what would happen if birth control failed. I guess she could abort, leave Arnav or keep the child and hope for the best. What do you think she would choose? And what would Arnav do? I guess we know.

We all know many accidents. My own family has one and that child is loved and cherished.

I feel sorry for Arnav but if Khushi didn’t love him I would say go through with the divorce. The guy is too screwed up.

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

Yes, Khushi does deserve to be a mother. But through no mistake of her own the rules of her marriage changed. So she made the decision to forego that happiness for the sake of her husband. But what would happen if birth control failed. I guess she could abort, leave Arnav or keep the child and hope for the best. What do you think she would choose? And what would Arnav do? I guess we know.

We all know many accidents. My own family has one and that child is loved and cherished.

I feel sorry for Arnav but if Khushi didn’t love him I would say go through with the divorce. The guy is too screwed up.

😊 You changed the context of conversation. We were talking about La baby that Arnav fathered in a drunken state.

My response was to your statement that personal happiness cannot always trump everything...

So I used that logic for Khushi wanting a child with her Arnav. A child he many not have emotional connect with.

You cannot force a spouse to be a parent. Same holds for unintended pregnancy because of ONS

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

I think some form of the assumption that Arnav is not taking "enough responsibility" comes from the idea that his inability to emotionally connect with the kid is a "solvable problem". That he is just not trying hard enough. That he is not willing to sacrifice. But I do not believe it is that simple. This is an out an out mental health issue! The decisions he makes while suffering from this issue should be treated with the same sympathy as if he was suffering from a physical health issue. Say for example, Arnav has a rare genetic disorder that guarantees the child would not have a good life!

yeah I had the similar argument :)

He did try for Khushi’s sake once right. He couldn’t. He called himself names of all kinds when he saw Khushi with leher again and asked himself what kind of a person keeps the person he loves away from such happiness? He was crying in the car that he tried to fight his demons for her sake but failed. This is a deep issue. I understand when he says he doesn’t want a responsibility. That’s all he has done since college. Nearly gave up every desire he had had for himself. Good engineering college, mba postponed because of marriage, gave up on mba altogether because job and savings were more important. These issues could be psychological. During Payal’s delivery, he needed Khushi to tell him that he can be useful with just his presence. He didn’t need to work. It’s emphasised every time that scene is written.

What we see as Khushi’s weakness is just her being very attuned to Arnav. Arnav never said it explicitly but She is probably the only figure in his life who ever told him that his presence was enough. He didn’t need to do something to get her love. This is exactly what she told Arnav the first time she confessed her love. He thought he was doing the bare minimum and Khushi was just in awe of his thoughtfulness. She convinced him that whatever and whoever he was, he was enough for her.

****************************

I also want to join in on the Khushi and her absolute devotion discussions that you guys just had. I am glad we all agree on one thing. Khushi says so in the last present chapter as well. She wished she was more of her own person. I hope she goes on that journey.

But I don’t think her love and devotion to Arnav is baseless. She is the one who thought Arnav had laid the world at her feet. She is the one who says except for one thing, Arnav had never said no to her. That he had taken care of her every step of the way. These are Khushi’s exact words.

So maybe she doesn’t ask for anything because she never needed to. Arnav was the one who anticipated her needs initially too. He was struggling day and night and still made time for her. The first news of promotion was given to her and especially the way he cared for her in the hospital. He shows his vulnerability. He was the first one to say ‘I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back to me’

In my mind, the relationship was not as imbalanced as everyone is making it out to be. Everyone’s calling him a decision maker but exactly what decisions has he taken? Buying a home? He took Khushi there. They were going to visit with the realtor anyway. Divorce? He assumed things but he never made the decision without talking to her. He never had the papers ready. Financially, he trusted Khushi immediately after marriage.

So please do help me understand where does this notion comes from that he was the driver of everything in the relationship. Yes he is more assertive than Khushi, but I never could read an instance where he was controlling IMO.

I think we are still carrying his persona we made up in our minds prior to whole Lavanya chapter was revealed. That he fell out of love and decided everything. Clearly not the truth and not what happened.

All I got from 2005-06 chapter is that Arnav was the giving one. Do this for family, that for Khushi. And Khushi saw it all. She thinks it to herself several times. How strong must he be to keep on going like this. Probably she wants to be the one who is taking care of him while he takes care of everything but himself. Look how he reacted to la and Manali taking him for a ride. Too tired to fight back.

And Khushi does have her wifey moments and Arnav does entertain them. She gets angry at him for putting his health at risk and he listens immediately. When she went on to sit in his lap in Lucknow chapter, Arnav’s first reaction was to close his laptop and snuggle with his wife. Later also that night, she is tricky enough to not let him work even though she smiles to herself when Arnav was trying to use his charm.

I think they had a fantastic relationship up until this baby thing came along. Arnav pulled back and things got bad. Lavanya episode a cherry on top.

But probably I am the only one who thinks that their relationship was not half as bad or imbalanced as everyone is making it out to be. They had issues, but they only surfaced during these last one and a half year.

I give up. I don’t like this Arnav. His deficits just keep adding up in my book. You can’t force emotional bonding but to just completely have nothing to do with your child is just wrong. And I am not talking about material support.

I do feel sorry for him but he has severe problems and to date is unwilling to address them. His life is in shambles and so is Khushi’s.

Thank God the child is a hypothetical. But I really wonder how Khushi and his parents will feel if they come to find out the details of this whole sorry mess?

Think my rebuttals are closed.

That answer was in response as someone, I guess you, asked if Khushi deserved to be a mother for her personal happiness. If Khushi got pregnant by accident Arnav would be a parent. Just like he would be if Lavenya was pregnant with his baby. Then the question is as pro choice what does Khushi do? It was an accident and not discussed. She has the choices I laid out. We know what a possible reaction that Arnav would have.

But Khushi already made her choice with no discussion involved. But accidents happen. Arnav could get a vasectomy and that would solve the problem I guess.

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

Yes, Khushi does deserve to be a mother. But through no mistake of her own the rules of her marriage changed. So she made the decision to forego that happiness for the sake of her husband. But what would happen if birth control failed. I guess she could abort, leave Arnav or keep the child and hope for the best. What do you think she would choose? And what would Arnav do? I guess we know.

We all know many accidents. My own family has one and that child is loved and cherished.

I feel sorry for Arnav but if Khushi didn’t love him I would say go through with the divorce. The guy is too screwed up.

Whatever she chooses in the event of failed birth control, I guess Arnav would support her through that. Khushi loves Arnav enough to not force him to be a part of the child's life (if she chooses to bring that child into the world). Arnav loves Khushi enough to leave her so that she never has to make a choice between him and the child. I think that is pretty much the premise of this story.

This sympathy and understanding can be expected from marriage but not from a drunken ONS.

You've mentioned our age difference, and the difference between how this generation perceives personal happiness versus responsibility, but I have to say that forcing responsibility down someone's throat has never worked for that generation either. You may have seen one exceptional example of someone standing up to do the "right" thing. However, there are a ton of untold stories of drunk fathers who were burdened by responsibilities they never wanted. Human capacity for sacrifice is not unlimited. We tout such people, very easily as bad fathers/abusers. But, did anyone ever wonder if they were meant to be fathers in the first place? Perhaps they would not have turned into bad people if they were not forced into responsibility. In that, I am glad this generation is aware of their limitations. Yes, we have the privilege of choice, but thankfully, we also have self-awareness, that the previous generation in general lacks.

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

I think some form of the assumption that Arnav is not taking "enough responsibility" comes from the idea that his inability to emotionally connect with the kid is a "solvable problem". That he is just not trying hard enough. That he is not willing to sacrifice. But I do not believe it is that simple. This is an out an out mental health issue! The decisions he makes while suffering from this issue should be treated with the same sympathy as if he was suffering from a physical health issue. Say for example, Arnav has a rare genetic disorder that guarantees the child would not have a good life!

The possibility of a genetical disorder or mental disorder? I am not sure Arpita will dive into that angle.

His phobia for having children

1) He got molested in childhood?

2)something happens to his neice/nephew at his watch and he couldn't save them?

3) point 2 and anji's connection?

His Ptsd kind symptoms regarding the news of having baby. Either between the period of 2006 to 2009 or his struggling childhood to adult stage before Khushi

some readers mentioned in earlier comments the time period between 2006 to 2009 wr crucial. To produce pictures in bollywood and with all satellite right, promotion, and audio and theatre prints with a budget of 25 cr then his assumed net worth should be 50 to100 cr. In the span of 3 years he became rich how? from Any old money or old property or plot?

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

That answer was in response as someone asked if Khushi deserved to be a mother for her personal happiness.

impasse 😊 I will not write Arnav off..till I know what he wrote in that note and kept it in his wallet. 😉

Originally posted by: Learrntowrite

yeah I had the similar argument :)

He did try for Khushi’s sake once right. He couldn’t. He called himself names of all kinds when he saw Khushi with leher again and asked himself what kind of a person keeps the person he loves away from such happiness? He was crying in the car that he tried to fight his demons for her sake but failed. This is a deep issue. I understand when he says he doesn’t want a responsibility. That’s all he has done since college. Nearly gave up every desire he had had for himself. Good engineering college, mba postponed because of marriage, gave up on mba altogether because job and savings were more important. These issues could be psychological. During Payal’s delivery, he needed Khushi to tell him that he can be useful with just his presence. He didn’t need to work. It’s emphasised every time that scene is written.

What we see as Khushi’s weakness is just her being very attuned to Arnav. Arnav never said it explicitly but She is probably the only figure in his life who ever told him that his presence was enough. He didn’t need to do something to get her love. This is exactly what she told Arnav the first time she confessed her love. He thought he was doing the bare minimum and Khushi was just in awe of his thoughtfulness. She convinced him that whatever and whoever he was, he was enough for her.

****************************

I also want to join in on the Khushi and her absolute devotion discussions that you guys just had. I am glad we all agree on one thing. Khushi says so in the last present chapter as well. She wished she was more of her own person. I hope she goes on that journey.

But I don’t think her love and devotion to Arnav is baseless. She is the one who thought Arnav had laid the world at her feet. She is the one who says except for one thing, Arnav had never said no to her. That he had taken care of her every step of the way. These are Khushi’s exact words.

So maybe she doesn’t ask for anything because she never needed to. Arnav was the one who anticipated her needs initially too. He was struggling day and night and still made time for her. The first news of promotion was given to her and especially the way he cared for her in the hospital. He shows his vulnerability. He was the first one to say ‘I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back to me’

In my mind, the relationship was not as imbalanced as everyone is making it out to be. Everyone’s calling him a decision maker but exactly what decisions has he taken? Buying a home? He took Khushi there. They were going to visit with the realtor anyway. Divorce? He assumed things but he never made the decision without talking to her. He never had the papers ready. Financially, he trusted Khushi immediately after marriage.

So please do help me understand where does this notion comes from that he was the driver of everything in the relationship. Yes he is more assertive than Khushi, but I never could read an instance where he was controlling IMO.

I think we are still carrying his persona we made up in our minds prior to whole Lavanya chapter was revealed. That he fell out of love and decided everything. Clearly not the truth and not what happened.

All I got from 2005-06 chapter is that Arnav was the giving one. Do this for family, that for Khushi. And Khushi saw it all. She thinks it to herself several times. How strong must he be to keep on going like this. Probably she wants to be the one who is taking care of him while he takes care of everything but himself. Look how he reacted to la and Manali taking him for a ride. Too tired to fight back.

And Khushi does have her wifey moments and Arnav does entertain them. She gets angry at him for putting his health at risk and he listens immediately. When she went on to sit in his lap in Lucknow chapter, Arnav’s first reaction was to close his laptop and snuggle with his wife. Later also that night, she is tricky enough to not let him work even though she smiles to herself when Arnav was trying to use his charm.

I think they had a fantastic relationship up until this baby thing came along. Arnav pulled back and things got bad. Lavanya episode a cherry on top.

But probably I am the only one who thinks that their relationship was not half as bad or imbalanced as everyone is making it out to be. They had issues, but they only surfaced during these last one and a half year.

I think you're alluding to the point I mentioned earlier. Their relationship was perfectly fine when their inherent natures and wants complimented each others. Khushi is happy with bare minimum when Arnav can only provide bare minimum. Perfect match.

But my biggest gripe is, she never came out of expecting bare minimum from him phase, even when he had the capacity for more. Even after having two stable companies, there was no need for him to work so much. Did she ever ask for more of his time? Or did she never really need it? He moves out to another room, and she moves his stuff there to support that choice? How is this not an imbalance? All I wish is she communicated a bit more. Arnav did not share his worries with her for whatever reason, but she could have been demanding in that, they do not need to separate just for the baby issue. I think her non-confrontational nature actually became her biggest flaw in this phase of their lives. Arnav on the other hand, struggled with the guilt of hurting his absolutely perfect wife.

Big time FOMO, I am in training until tomorrow so no luck so far reading other's comments, but I will try later tonight.. I am back to my original opinion about this Arnav - He is such self centered, narcissist, number one dufus jerk, scum bag and this is my true feeling even though this is FanFic. Few interesting highlights from the latest chapter and my thoughts around it -

1. On boy, I was so right about putting Arnav in place and showing ZERO sympathy for his choice to stay in a RAVE party! Akash's reaction and Arnav's acceptance is exactly what I wrote about the RAVE party, he knew it all along and still chose to stay, I was bang on.

“What the f*ck is wrong with you?” Akash yelled, taking advantage of the fact that his study was soundproof. “You stayed and drank to oblivion at a damned rave? Without any of us around? Were you out of your mind? Don’t you know what goes on there?”

"I do” Arnav said. “I have no excuse. I just wanted to let loose and looks like I chose the worst possible place for that.”

“I’m so mad at you for hanging back at an industry rave.

Thankfully Arnav has honored his words and never made an excuse about sleeping with La, he is guilty as charged, period. Did he deserve what he went through, maybe not but then he is one of those who needs proof for everything and loves to learn by falling flat on his face, what can I say? He decided to enter the war zone without wearing guards and he was hit by the bullet on his chest, he had to take it.

2. Arnav's confession to Akash about Lavanya mishap - “There was a moment” Arnav began saying even though disgust bubbled in his chest. “There was a moment when she kissed me when I did realize it wasn’t Khushi. Shouldn’t I have stopped then? More forcefully?”

This is what I had doubted before and felt he had gone the dark side. But what does this even mean, for few seconds Arnav had realized he wasn't with Khushi, but he chose NOT to stop La with all his might when he thought he was in a position to do so, despite number of drinks, mix and match or drugs etc.? Here Arnav himself is convinced he cheated on Khushi, isn't it? This makes the whole situation different now; not only was the act consensual, but he also felt aware he was cheating on Khushi. Am I right or am I right???

Is that the reason for his lack of reaction after knowing La and Ma were lying and conning him with the pregnancy story?? If he went through hell for the last two months, it was his mistake, but Khushi was not involved or aware, yet she faced hell because of his ignorance. Also, he is thinking still only about himself, let go La and ma after finding out they conned him, has he ever thought how Khushi would have taken the news of he getting another woman pregnant out of reckless adultery, she would literally die! That's what La and Ma were trying to do clearly, fast tracked his divorce and were pushing him into relationship with La, Khushi would have figured it out anyways.. If not for himself, he didn't go after La and Ma for Khushi, seriously???? Akash explained to him, but he trusted La more who hosts regular RAVE parties than himself who attended one first time, bravo!

3. Now the most CRITICAL point for me, I am sure others might have already pointed this out. We all know he slept with La under the influence, but never meant to cheat. Once La claims to be pregnant, La giving her best performance to show how stressed, scared, and panicky she is (Afterall she is an actress) to make him feel guilty, I totally get it… But Arnav especially when Khushi had returned home, instead of confessing what all happened between him, and Lavanya immediately, hid the facts from Khushi and went on to meet La and offered clingy La shoulder to cry on behind Khushi's back. Since he made a grave mistake of ONS under the influence and got La pregnant, now he gets to give cold shoulder to Khushi and run to Lavanya too? What the heck is this? ISN’T this BROAD DAY LIGHT CHEATING NOW while Khushi is living with him in Mumbai under the same roof??? Does Arnav have any conscious or shame whatsoever? I want to ask those who all have had sympathy for this Arnav; which act of Arnav is worst – Knowingly attend RAVE party where he exactly knows happens and end up sleeping with La under influence or cheating in broad day light by meeting La behind Khushi's back? And where is Khushi in all this, she doesn't even exist in his life when so much is going on, unbelievable. The time he spent on his will to safeguard his wealth for Khushi and meeting La, shouldn't he have spent getting Khushi on board with the situation? This guy is completely f*cked up, has ZERO morals in life. So much for thinking righteously, control freak and taking all decisions by himself? Or just because he was determined to divorce Khushi, he no longer considers her involvement in his matters?

Aman gave him hard proof about La and Ma being fraud and cunning, evil twins conned him by lying about the baby, her previous affairs with married men and destroying other talented actress’ career etc., Manali clearly pushed him for the divorce, brought it on fast track and wanted him to have fake/real affair with La. But this Arnav for once cannot do 2+2=4 to figure out their ulterior motive that they MUST have trapped him in Panchgani in the first place and were hell bent on breaking his marriage with La’s pregnancy angle and wanted to get La in his life as gf or wife ASAP. He is still waiting on confirmation on photos if Ma was really involved, why?? If evil twins lied about pregnancy and tried to trap him to be with La, it's obvious they are responsible for everything. It’s BLACK and WHITE and there is no ambiguity, and he still needs further proofs? He is no ultrasharp and canny businessman if he cannot see the bigger picture. I am simply appalled at Arnav, the astute guy taking people on their face value despite direct experience, proofs of their suspicious behavior and still blaming himself for the Panchgani incident. Arnav received La's character and background report by Jan 2nd, but he decided to do NOTHING and who paid the price, Khushi. Ma got bold, dared to leak the marriage news as a blackmail to him later, Khushi's marriage with Shyam was fast tracked, she and her family faced humiliation in society, the constant whispers being infertile and dumped by husband etc. But its OK, Arnav managed to hide his adultery in public, his reputation was intact, and he was not having a baby so his tension was relieved, so Khushi, her family and their reputation, feelings can go to hell (Rihanna song constantly in my years)! Arnav was worried about La's privacy for medical records and not his own wife's state after knowing shit he has been hiding, like really? Is this Arnav for real? I really want to cut him some slack, I really do but his stupidity and lack of common sense makes me not even pity him.

What is the worst, he cannot feel or read his own wife’s goodness either. He did not believe Khushi loves him the most even after being with for 10 long years and that her heart will choose him over everything and everyone. He needs Payal to tell him about she not going off the pills or her complete love note on anniversary to sort his misconception for him… He needed Hariprakash to realize that his schedule, meals, room and other needs were flawlessly managed by his wife, she was just as invested with him as before, always waited for him to come back home and never missed to celebrate his success. Because he had been an ignorant ass hole only taking from her, giving ignorance and hurt in return... He has taken Khushi for granted, disrespecting her to the maximum possible level. Yes my original statement was always right, Arnav is way worse than the Shyams out there.

He is scared to fail his family or Khushi like his Di and worries they would leave him alone just like Di - So something major happened between him and his Di. And she left him, not talking to him I guess or dead I am not 200% sure; will have to re-read.

This Khushi is beyond angel, kind soul and as Payal says she is too nice for her own good. What she did for the father and son was unimaginable... She worked hard to bring the dysfunctional family together and succeeded too but lost too much and is hurt too much in the process. I cried when I read Arnav’s conversation with his mother. Sometimes one has to ask herself, is he worth it at all? There is a saying - Spend your time on those who love you back unconditionally, not with those who love you only when the condition is right for them! Khushi clearly made the mistake of loving Arnav unconditionally when he falls in the latter category! His inability to communicate, guilt and ignorance to compensate the guilt has landed them here. As I always say, Khushi is the unluckiest woman, and the worst husband of the millennium award goes to Arnav!

Not funny but true, Arnav needs Khushi in his life like Hindi movie's police, the come last when everything is done and dusted, they have no clue, are least required, and no one cares about their presence or opinion… Khushi should leave him asap for her own sanity, given a choice doesn't even need to turn back even once!

Ironically Arnav plays chess and seems to be really good at it, indirectly brags to Akash how he uses the same skills in business. What a master stroke of sarcasm Arpita, I don’t know if you really think through in the story that way, but this is my take just like my comparisons with Star Wars… In the game of chess, the king is one of the weakest, even the pawn can move 2 squares initially whereas the king gets to move only one square in all direction, but the queen, rook, bishop and knight have much powerful moves to save the king. King Lavanya with her queen Manali and army of PR team plays the game way better than king Arnav who chooses to play alone and not utilize his army. Being righteous Arnav is white, made his first move to stay in a RAVE party! Walla... I ROFLed when I realized chess is supposed to improve problem solving skills and exercies both sides of brain, but unfortunately Arnav has neither...

Arpita - My humble request, at least one chapter from Khushi's perspective, he has no realization what so ever still so I hope Arnav gets to see the reality, the damage he has caused her. If he can forgive himself, he should expect Khushi to forgive him. Arnav still getting to play victim and symapth card is complete nonsense for me, so what if the story is written from his perspective! I still say he may not be the bad guy but his illogical thinking and decisions make him the worst.

Your writing is as usual amazing, love the back and forth long chapter where you covered most loop holes the previous chapters opened... Though few things I am still not buying but you might have replied to others so I will read the ongoing chat first and then ask...