Anupama should not go to America. Period. - Page 4

Originally posted by: U_nicorn

I respect your opinion and I have different perspective here. A few generations before us women were raised only to be wives and mothers. That was their only role in life and they were moulded to have dreams around this only. Only because women started being perceived as ‘doing nothing’, they were denied equal rights as men, they along with their kids suffered because of lack of financial independence and education. Most women were illiterate (and that was enough then) they and their kids suffered…such kids never got an all-round knowledge from the mother, since mothers lacked exposure and education. In today’s generation if this scenario is able to change and women are being given opportunities basis their capabilities and desires…not limiting to their family choice, it’s progress. Choosing a career and motherhood is a women’s choice. On an average women spent close to 20-22 years of her life studying and maybe another 4-5 years struggling at workplace to make a mark…giving all that up doesn’t seem fair. And these are not ‘dreams’ , this is her achievement and reality that you are suggesting she give up. If we are going to tell women to choose between motherhood and careers- she’ll be denied education and higher education with that mindset. That’s unfair.

Similarly she’ll be asked to choose husband or career, in-laws care or career, household work or career.

Why is a women expected to choose 1 while the husband chooses himself (in the name of family) and is able to carry on without being judged or labelled??

Motherhood is a choice, children need parents care I agree…but finding an alternate where mother giving up her hard earned individuality is not the solution. It’s the makers lack of creativity/blinded vision that’s not allowing them to find a better solution. Better solutions exist. Like Bhairavi, get CA enrolled in that class or troupe and take her with u to US…or whatever ya…don’t corner women to make these unfair choices. For a change show us a women doing both and still being happy!

Millions of women manage everything......but if a parent is going off to a different country ...things are different......read my post above.....Going to America....leaving behind your 7 year old child is UNFAIR...whether its the Mom or Dad.....One has to do the balancing act when the kids are young......like I said it is a CHOICE.....manage your career and your child simultaneously. I have friends who go on tours and the husband mange the kids.....it takes both parents.....U can't leave ur child with your spouse and jet off for 3 years.......

Originally posted by: U_nicorn

Creating such drastic scenarios to make the decision impossible is lame to watch…instead u just don’t create a situation where she gets an opportunity….only to give it up every time.

So this is what the important point is here right. It's not about her leaving CA and going for work in normal circumstances, it's the fact that the child is going through some serious emotional trauma at such a young age, this whole period after Maaya's entry has clearly been very toxic for her and now her biological mother's death...It's a lot to take for a child and for her to deal with it alone or for just Anuj to handle would be tough and there's no other family they have who really care for them. No mother would leave their child in such a scenario. The makers have created such a twisted situation where it's like even if she goes to fulfil her dreams, she won't get the happiness and satisfaction that she would have otherwise knowing that the people she apparently loves are in such a state back home. And add to it the part where for Anupama in particular, being a Maa comes above everything else and she continues to propagate that idea to this date, even when she talks to Kavya about her child. So to show a difference in how she is with her bio kids and with CA is again sending a very wrong message about differentiating between bio kids and adopted children. Anupama would never ever leave her bio kids in such a situation as we have seen earlier, she has sacrificed her dreams and happiness for much smaller trivial things when it comes to them. And her attitude towards being a mother first and foremost seems to have still not changed, so ignoring that when it comes to CA alone would reflect badly on her. If these were normal circumstances where she got this opportunity and needed her family's support, it would have been different and much nicer to watch and see how they support her and manage, but unfortunately they've created this kind of scenario where even if she goes, it's not a matter of happiness and pride the way it could have been!

Originally posted by: poobaniparvati9

So this is what the important point is here right. It's not about her leaving CA and going for work in normal circumstances, it's the fact that the child is going through some serious emotional trauma at such a young age, this whole period after Maaya's entry has clearly been very toxic for her and now her biological mother's death...It's a lot to take for a child and for her to deal with it alone or for just Anuj to handle would be tough and there's no other family they have who really care for them. No mother would leave their child in such a scenario. The makers have created such a twisted situation where it's like even if she goes to fulfil her dreams, she won't get the happiness and satisfaction that she would have otherwise knowing that the people she apparently loves are in such a state back home. And add to it the part where for Anupama in particular, being a Maa comes above everything else and she continues to propagate that idea to this date, even when she talks to Kavya about her child. So to show a difference in how she is with her bio kids and with CA is again sending a very wrong message about differentiating between bio kids and adopted children. Anupama would never ever leave her bio kids in such a situation as we have seen earlier, she has sacrificed her dreams and happiness for much smaller trivial things when it comes to them. And her attitude towards being a mother first and foremost seems to have still not changed, so ignoring that when it comes to CA alone would reflect badly on her. If these were normal circumstances where she got this opportunity and needed her family's support, it would have been different and much nicer to watch and see how they support her and manage, but unfortunately they've created this kind of scenario where even if she goes, it's not a matter of happiness and pride the way it could have been!

Originally posted by: blue-ice.1

Millions of women manage everything......but if a parent is going off to a different country ...things are different......read my post above.....Going to America....leaving behind your 7 year old child is UNFAIR...whether its the Mom or Dad.....One has to do the balancing act when the kids are young......like I said it is a CHOICE.....manage your career and your child simultaneously. I have friends who go on tours and the husband mange the kids.....it takes both parents.....U can't leave ur child with your spouse and jet off for 3 years.......

Empowerment is not about choosing career over child or vice versa. It is whatever a women choose to do it should be her choice and not in any influence or pressure.

Now in this situation makers should clearly show what Anupama really wants! Should not be propagated as if she has sacrificed her career for choti. No! If at all she is staying back for choti , it should not be termed as 'sacrifice' and it should be by her own choice and not because of influence of what society says.

I am a working women and I have left my many meetings, important opportunities and what not for my baby because I know when she needs mumma she can not be handled by any body else not even her father. But I have never termed it as my sacrifice as it's always my choice to prioritise her over any other thing in the world. Nobody can replace a mother child connection.

It's parents choice to bring up a child in the world/ adopt a child so they have to handle it. A child never asked for it so he/ she should not be suffered or ignored.

Anupama sign bond and agree to go America at that time when anuj choti anu are not living with anupama when they were living with maaya in Mumbai

To aisa nahi hai Anupama ne tub America jaana decide Kiya ho jub choti anu Anupama ke saath reh rahi hi

So anupama decided to go to America and sign bond when choti was not living with anupama instead living Mumbai with maaya

Just because choti anu and anuj return from Mumbai and start living with Kapadia so because of that anupama should cancel going to America and should sacrifice her career for choti .?why ?

Why should anupama sacrifice her career just because choti anu and anuj return from Mumbai and staying in Kapadia

Anupama is not wrong going to America for career because she decided go to America only when anuj told anupama that he and choti will never come back and stay with maaya only

Galti to choti any aur anuj ki hai decided nahi kar paate hai ki aakhir kya chahte hai kabhi khuch kehte hain kabhi khuch

Seriously both choti anu and anuj create mess in anupama life by sticking in not one decision

Originally posted by: U_nicorn

Imagine if it was Anuj who had a 3 year official work in US, he wouldn’t even be facing this dilemma right? He would have simply left for US and expected everyone else to handle their lives and support his decision.

So is it fair to ask Anupama to not go for her job when the father of the child is present along with all other family members?

If the child still is finding it difficult without the mother, Anuj can figure a way of taking the kid to US to be with her mother atleast till things settle for the child.

This entire track is showing that women should not have ambitions at all if they have children…it’s a completely wrong message shown by the makers in today’s times. Women should be shown the opposite of this! A mother will continue being a good mother even if she pursues her career!!!

I would have loved to actually see her go to the US without any emotional baggage and actually show that people back home are supportive. Creating such drastic scenarios to make the decision impossible is lame to watch…instead u just don’t create a situation where she gets an opportunity….only to give it up every time. What a sad state for us viewers ya…complete waste of mindspace

See i wish this was the track from the beginning, Anupama getting rid of Shahs and prioritizing her dreams

But the show has constantly shown she chose to sacrifice for her grown up, married kids,

So now the track is not coming across as an ambitious woman choosing career vs kids, its coming across as someone who always chose her own kids over her ambitions now not choosing to do that for a 7 year old abandoned kid

Everything needs to be seen in context

And i completely agree with your last paragraph, this is what Anupama's udaan should have been, escaping shahs, finding her ambitions, taking time before getting together with Anuj, being successful on her own and then getting a new family and kids if she wants

Originally posted by: sillibilli

This post is an excellent example of how the world treats men and women differently! Like someone said, if it was Anuj who had signed a contract or even signs a contract today, nobody will stop him or expect him to cancel his plans for his child. And all heads would turn to Anupama to take that responsibility without a question in his absence.

But since this is a woman who signed a contract when nothing was left for her, she is still expected to abandon it now that the same people are back and if she follows her dreams then she will be judged as a bad mother!

Anuj who was earlier himself settled in the USA cannot go back there for god knows what reason and Anu who has nobody except both of them has to be there in India and complete her studies/picnics.

And therefore Anupama should abandon her dreams or think about a chance she might get when she is above 60 years. Otherwise, the moral police has passed the verdict of a bad mother for her!!!

Nah, you are missing the context. If Anupama had been shown to be serious about her career from the beginning, if she had been shown to chose ambitions over grown up kids, no one would raise this question

Also she is not left with nothing lol, she owns entire Kapadia entire and is responsible for it, she had a dance academy and has a new one which she is responsible for. She is abandoning both of them to go to a new thing which she will probably abandon again

People are passing verdict based on her history, not moral policing. She abandoned ambitions multiple times for abusers but cannot do for people who really loves her. Which shows she loves and choses shahs over anuj and CA. She has done the same thing before in multiple situations

This is what it comes across to people. Everything should understand the entire context of why people are disliking this track. She has never been serious about any ambitions and career and even now she is forsaking the employees of kapadia empire, employees and students of her current dance academy. That doesn't show any dreams or ambitions but someone who keeps running away from true growth and responsibility of a career. Pretty sure as soon as new thing comes or Shahs seriously call her, she will abandon these "dreams" too

Calling such an unstable person a career woman or having dreams and ambitions is an insult to all the real women who have genuine passion and dreams

Originally posted by: --Ruchi--

Empowerment is not about choosing career over child or vice versa. It is whatever a women choose to do it should be her choice and not in any influence or pressure.

Now in this situation makers should clearly show what Anupama really wants! Should not be propagated as if she has sacrificed her career for choti. No! If at all she is staying back for choti , it should not be termed as 'sacrifice' and it should be by her own choice and not because of influence of what society says.

I am a working women and I have left my many meetings, important opportunities and what not for my baby because I know when she needs mumma she can not be handled by any body else not even her father. But I have never termed it as my sacrifice as it's always my choice to prioritise her over any other thing in the world. Nobody can replace a mother child connection.

It's parents choice to bring up a child in the world/ adopt a child so they have to handle it. A child never asked for it so he/ she should not be suffered or ignored.

Sacrifice should not be glorified, as you rightly said, even choosing to sacrifice is selfish in many ways. Imagine an adult putting the blame on a baby for sacrifice, at least adults need to own up that they are making a choice

No one is a bechara, every adult can chose their priorities. If a woman constantly choses family over career that is again her own choice and she has to live with the consequences. In real life such a person will become bitter and wouldn't become a good parent ever. To make others happy, you need to be happy and satisfied first. And you need to be a master of your own faith and choices. And after making choice you should not blame faith or sacrifice for it. Only then will you be satisfied with your own life and only then you can satisfy both your career and relationships

Originally posted by: Harish111

Sacrifice should not be glorified, as you rightly said, even choosing to sacrifice is selfish in many ways. Imagine an adult putting the blame on a baby for sacrifice, at least adults need to own up that they are making a choice

No one is a bechara, every adult can chose their priorities. If a woman constantly choses family over career that is again her own choice and she has to live with the consequences. In real life such a person will become bitter and wouldn't become a good parent ever. To make others happy, you need to be happy and satisfied first. And you need to be a master of your own faith and choices. And after making choice you should not blame faith or sacrifice for it. Only then will you be satisfied with your own life and only then you can satisfy both your career and relationships

That's what my point! But here in itv they actually glorify sacrifice and term as " Ma hu ne" I mean come out of that zone. Ma means sacrifice should not be propagated also this superwomen concept and handling everything also not be glorified.