Originally posted by: Moonks
I think the whole point is even though they are not good, they happens. It’s not an individual problem it’s a societal problem so it’s not good to blame a person for that, the moment we as a society starts accepting that arrange marriage or love marriages either are not bad is the moment we get rid of this elopement issue. Even if many of you don’t agree but the truth is for years we are being sold the narrative that arrange marriages are forced marriages which is not the truth, the idea of love marriages is fascinating but overrated in my opinion, love doesn’t guarantees the trust, respect and happiness instead it is trust and respect which guarantees love and happiness in marriage. No matter what you say elopement is not okay, the moment you do it you prove how shallow as person you are, elope when you have life and death situations but how in the world you can justifying choosing a man over your family who has made several sacrifices and adjustments for you. And the choice and freedom you all are talking about I am sorry to say that’s nothing but a myth cause when you have a family, you have responsibilities the only person who has the full freedom in life is the one who doesn’t have anyone by his/her side cause then he/she doesn’t need to think about what impact his decision will have on his/her people. Elopement is equal to irresponsibility for me, you can hurt your family because you can’t hurt the person who claims to love you, how does this logic make sense?? I am sorry but Mariam is more wrong in this, she chose a guy she knew for 8 months over her family forget about love, she could not even be loyal to those people who has supported her till now, force marriage is wrong but in no way elopement makes it right.
First of all, here Mariyam is in a forced marriage. There is a difference between arranged marriage and forced marriage like someone said and that is consent.
@Bold: No. I don't agree with this. I have not heard of this that there is a narrative that arranged marriage is a forced marriage. And the difference is consent like someone said.
Here, if I am not wrong, we are not talking about whether elopement is right. We are talking about this particular instance of Mariyam eloping. We are trying to understand what made the character elope.
@Bold underlined: The family might have sacrificed and made adjustments for Mariyam but it does not justify them getting her married without her wish. Here the reason Mariyam eloped is because she got scared that she might have to get married to Naurez.
@Bold Italic: The choice and freedom need to be there for a person when it is about the decision of getting married. It is not a myth. A person has responsibilities does not mean that they should not have the choice and freedom. Like someone said marriage is a lifetime commitment. The decision will have life time impact on a person.
So the family can hurt Mariyam by getting her married forcefully to Naurez but she can not hurt the family. I feel that both the family and Mariyam are in the wrong. And I sympathize with Mariyam more.
Edited by pressu - 2 years ago
Anupamaa
Music Corner
742