Katha's Emotional Turmoil - Page 4

Originally posted by: Rsrockz

Sorry if I sound typecasting or stereotyping gender roles and attaching personas to characters, but IMO if we ignore the gender identity we can't rationalise their behaviours. I never said men are selfish or women to be less selfish, in fact I agree the sacrifices a man makes for the family aren't taken seriously and that proves we agree on many things including putting humanity and compassion above gender identity. So a big warm thank you for this conversation.

No worries, I was just talking in general about gender stereotyping - not specifically directed at your comment :)

@bold: Ofcourse I do understand that gender can't be totally taken out of the discussion and some part of the rationale will come from there too. It's just that I personally don't view Katha's reactions as being gender based at this point....I feel they are more a function of her emotional baggage and past. If they were using the ONS angle as a backdrop for her reactions, then I would have said it's definitely got to do a lot with how she's feeling as a woman before anything else. But right now the way she is reacting is more about her general hang-ups as a human being than necessarily as a woman. If we discount the ONS past baggage between KV from the situation, Katha's battle between the heart and the mind can happen to a male character in her place too.

The question then would be about whether a male character would also get that level of leeway that he is just reacting as a man so his flaws are understandable....lol I don't think that would be the case....his flaws would be called out in a snap and him being cold to Katha would be quickly labeled misogyny. lol but if Katha gives the cold treatment, its called her being practical as a woman.

See I'm not negating that Katha is TRYING to be practical...I'm just calling out the flaws and loopholes in her logic....lol I've done the same for Viaan as well.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Generalizations happen with both genders. No one has a copyright on being selfless or compassionate. Not all women are selfless and not all men are selfish. There can be selfless men just like there can be selfish women.

I prefer talking about humanity and compassion on a general level rather than making it a gender based discussion about how women tend to be or how men tend to be. This story for me is more enjoyable when viewed from that individual lens rather than viewing it as what a man does or what a woman does. When I talk about Katha's flaws or mistakes, I talk about her as a human being before anything else. Same goes for Viaan....it is interesting to watch their evolution as human beings rather than evolution as a man or a woman.

I believe in feminine and masculine quality. While most women are of caring and nurturing nature than most men, most men are of protective nature towards the female family member. It doesn't mean men are not caring or women are not protecting. Like men usually don't ask question whether you had your lunch/dinner, women generally ask these type of question. In the same way men feel they are responsible for the security of their female friends/family.

If it had been a male in place of Kathaa the story would be like this.

Garewal's would have understood how difficult it must be for their damaad to live without a partnerto manage their little potha or pothi and would have searched a girl for him Instead of trying to manaofying and trying to keep their grandxhild while ignoring the parent's troubled lonely life. Nobody would have dared to ask for a ONS🥳. Finally the mum of the girl who is head over heals in love❤️ with kathaa's male version wouldn't sunaofy or give those ugly you phasaoed my child🤣 type bashans.

So Kathaa's behaviour is acceptable and on the expected lines. It may have reduced still bias against widows do exist and there's stigma against single moms.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

No worries, I was just talking in general about gender stereotyping - not specifically directed at your comment :)

@bold: Ofcourse I do understand that gender can't be totally taken out of the discussion and some part of the rationale will come from there too. It's just that I personally don't view Katha's reactions as being gender based at this point....I feel they are more a function of her emotional baggage and past. If they were using the ONS angle as a backdrop for her reactions, then I would have said it's definitely got to do a lot with how she's feeling as a woman before anything else. But right now the way she is reacting is more about her general hang-ups as a human being than necessarily as a woman. If we discount the ONS past baggage between KV from the situation, Katha's battle between the heart and the mind can happen to a male character in her place too.

The question then would be about whether a male character would also get that level of leeway that he is just reacting as a man so his flaws are understandable....lol I don't think that would be the case....his flaws would be called out in a snap and him being cold to Katha would be quickly labeled misogyny. lol but if Katha gives the cold treatment, its called her being practical as a woman.

See I'm not negating that Katha is TRYING to be practical...I'm just calling out the flaws and loopholes in her logic....lol I've done the same for Viaan as well.

Love can sustain only when there's commitment and expecting compatibility with other person is too much of an ask because we cannot agree on everything even with our siblings and our generation has this problem of understanding that its OK for the other person to have their own reasons for not doing something or ignoring favoring or preferring something which can be against our opinions or wishes. See even in this forum we have such vibrant views owing to our experiences only when we agree to disagree respectfully a dialogue can be continued similar thing in marital/conjugal relationships. When we overstep that line friction can cause problems instead of a healthy disagreement.

I believe in a non-linear world which is neither monochromatic nor isometric, so I always love FRICTION ❤️

Originally posted by: Neutral2

At the end love is a choice. If love is just feeling, people won't be able to move on after breakup and divorce due to practical reason. Love marriage also break within 1-2 year of marriage as they find they are not compatible even if they both are attracted to each other. So it is not wrong to think about practicality before acceptance especially when you are at 30+ age.

For Katha there are lot of more things to think about. First thing is her kid. Second thing is her own past. Imagine she keep talking about her late husband, ultimately Viaan will get frustrated with her talk and move out.

Originally posted by: Rsrockz

Love can sustain only when there's commitment and expecting compatibility with other person is too much of an ask because we cannot agree on everything even with our siblings and our generation has this problem of understanding that its OK for the other person to have their own reasons for not doing something or ignoring favoring or preferring something which can be against our opinions or wishes. See even in this forum we have such vibrant views owing to our experiences only when we agree to disagree respectfully a dialogue can be continued similar thing in marital/conjugal relationships. When we overstep that line friction can cause problems instead of a healthy disagreement.

I believe in a non-linear world which is neither monochromatic nor isometric, so I always love FRICTION ❤️

That is what I am saying. Commitment is needed, but first commitment should be with self. For Katha feeling is there but commitment still has to come.

Agree with your second sentence that expectation from your partner is too much ask. First love means giving to your partner. And Katha is still not ready for giving in relationship. She even doesn't know whether she loves Viaan or not. It is her introspect phase. Only when she agree to herself that she has strong feeling for Viaan as a life partner then only she should enter in relationship otherwise friendship is ok where there is no expectation from other side.

Originally posted by: Rsrockz

If it had been a male in place of Kathaa the story would be like this.

Garewal's would have understood how difficult it must be for their damaad to live without a partnerto manage their little potha or pothi and would have searched a girl for him Instead of trying to manaofying and trying to keep their grandxhild while ignoring the parent's troubled lonely life. Nobody would have dared to ask for a ONS🥳. Finally the mum of the girl who is head over heals in love❤️ with kathaa's male version wouldn't sunaofy or give those ugly you phasaoed my child🤣 type bashans.

So Kathaa's behaviour is acceptable and on the expected lines. It may have reduced still bias against widows do exist and there's stigma against single moms.

One of my fav. Katha scenes is the moment when she comes back to Earthcon after the exit interview and tells Viaan that she is not one of those women who carries apne saath huye atyachaar ka bhaar all her life to feel mahaan.

Yet ironically, to justify Katha's POV - she is victimized as a woman again and again. LOL she is herself saying ki don't victimize me as a woman, as a widow yet somehow as an audience, we should reduce her just to that lens? She herself doesn't dwell on her widow stigma as much the explanations being given. I would rather prefer evaluating her for how she is portraying herself, not as how society supposedly will stigmatize her for her widow status.

The irony is people like Kathaa wants to remain strong, independent free of any biases for or against them. Sadly ppl and their surroundings would never stop boxing them, labelling such and such person should be like this and all. I'm glad to see a lot of change.

There's a working widow aunty ji living with her only son in our neighbourhood. He's her nephew adopted from her brother, she got married at an early age, probably he doesn't even know what's marriage and another widow woman with her progressive thoughts taught her education and made the auntyji capable enough to get a job and live independently.

This auntyji and the widow SM who helped her, have faced a lot of resistance in their education journey. Cut to 20 years later another girl in the same family had her husband lost to suicide and the family members readily got her into her husband's job later they even got her married to someone else.

The moral of the story gender bias agsinst women does exist, and agreeing their existence is the first step to eradicate them, characters cannot be analysed objectively without the gender prism.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

of my fav. Katha scenes is the moment when she comes back to Earthcon after the exit interview and tells Viaan that she is not one of those women who carries apne saath huye atyachaar ka bhaar all her life to feel mahaan.

Yet ironically, to justify Katha's POV - she is victimized as a woman again and again. LOL she is herself saying ki don't victimize me as a woman, as a widow yet somehow as an audience, we should reduce her just to that lens? She herself doesn't dwell on her widow stigma as much the explanations being given. I would rather prefer evaluating her for how she is portraying herself, not as how society supposedly will stigmatize her for her widow status.

Thank you dear to share your thoughts about katha - adi scene throgh very well written analysis ❤️

Like always you expresses my exact feelings better than me and i enjoyed the show more with your illustration

Especially how you spotted the major difference between katha falling for adi and viaan.

So please keep it up as there was many scenes in this week episodes that i want to share my thoughts about them with you dear, maybe i would open a discussion thread about it 🌹